i hate my family

P

plzgodhelpme

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
5
Location
usa
#1
hello,

I am new to this site, I read so many posts that sounded like my family. where do I start? my father died suddenly 3 years ago, which he had alcohol problems, depression, bipolar etc. my childhood was hard. I would get abused physically and emotionally by my father. my mother would just watch. My mother verbally puts me down. I use to live on my own for 4 years but had to move back home when I lost my job. I want to move out again but I have 2 dogs and have been out of work for 3 years due to my ptsd and my dads passing (saw it happen). I currently have anxiety, ocd, depression. I have always had anxiety. I have no family. my 2 uncles are messed up (one a druggie) the other a money stealing person, my sister who I never liked or gotten along with and a mother who listens to my sister for everything, oh and a grandmother that never calls or talks to me. so theres that, my mother never had my back and always listens and helps out my sister. my mom wanted me to work at her place and long story short I was fired for not liking the bosses son. my mom never had my back, she never does. she tells her mother to give only my sister money, every Christmas everyone gets about 50 gifts I literally get 5. I am not here to complain, its just has been bothering me all my life and has caught up to me. I was well liked in high school, never got into trouble or did drugs. I am an athletic person. I just don't get why I am being treated so poorly by my mother. My mother treats me this way I feel because her mother favors her 2 sons and doesn't talk to her, so I said she is doing the same thing to me as my grandmother is doing to her. like I said I am not close to my sister, uncles, or grandmother and never was my mom is the blame since I felt like I was closer to her. I did / do everything for her when my father died, yet she still favors my sister. life sucks. back to therapy next week
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
40,189
Location
Lancashire
#2
:welcome: to the forum. I am so sorry to read about your problems? Do you have any good friends as they are the family we choose aren't they? I am glad you are getting therapy for all this, you probably will get the help you so need to process your childhood and all that has happened. I have heard of people like your mother before and speaking as a mother myself, it just baffles me. I hope others will be along soon to help you more and just chat maybe.
 
H

harsh-reality

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2016
Messages
239
Location
England
#3
yes welcome also

families - yes indeed a case in point - probably most people who struggling with their mental health have had at least one or two family members that in terms of support have been the exact opposite

I guess I have been fortunate enough to have parental support but my sisters and their partners - flipping heck - I can't even begin to start talking about the prejudice, anger and down right unkindness I have experienced

The one good thing about all that has happened to me - has been that I have always managed to seek out good friends both men and women - ie like my surrogate family - because the family I grew up with - well these days I just consider them to be strangers and no family of mine....

I am sad theres not really anyone in your family at all that is decent towards yourself - its hard not to take these things personally but as I am finally beginning to realise it says more about them as to any kind of statement about who you are..

But yes it can be very painful - no doubt

I hope you find that by chatting some things out you can get decent replies you can relate to

I wish you well

HR
 
P

plzgodhelpme

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
5
Location
usa
#4
:welcome: to the forum. I am so sorry to read about your problems? Do you have any good friends as they are the family we choose aren't they? I am glad you are getting therapy for all this, you probably will get the help you so need to process your childhood and all that has happened. I have heard of people like your mother before and speaking as a mother myself, it just baffles me. I hope others will be along soon to help you more and just chat maybe.
thx
 
P

plzgodhelpme

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
5
Location
usa
#5
yes i do have friends and neighbors(thank god). I was always in denial about my anxiety, ocd and depression and came to terms that it started from a bad childhood. Thank god for going to therapy and being on meds or else i would just be crazy. Its never gunna change. why talk to people who dont want to talk to you? my mom is always going to betray me and favor or listen to my sister. Like i said she is just doing this to me because her mother does that to her. I like animals better then people! If i told you the stories how i got f'd over we would be here all day. like for example how my sister made up a story about my dogs ruining her place ( rented from sister). so i had to pay for new floors since she wanted to redo her own place and turns out a year later my mom gave her 15 k to redo the kitchen. mhmmmmm
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
40,189
Location
Lancashire
#6
Sounds like you have a toxic family. The only way to go is to cut your losses perhaps and strike out on your own. I know that sounds easy and its not I do understand. It must hurt you everytime you think of them.
 
vanish

vanish

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2014
Messages
1,361
Location
The Land of Oz
#7
Plzgodhelpme, from what you’ve said here it seems like we have similar families. I’m sorry about that.
 
PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 20, 2019
Messages
45
Location
Northern Ireland
#8
I hear what you are saying, and big hugs for that!
It’s only in more recent years I have discovered how abusive my mother was/can be. My father was too, but he shows remorse and is trying to make up for it and is almost a little over bearing now with how much he cares, but I know he means well.
I always excused the abuse from both because they were “going through a hard time” or “had their own mental health issues” and because it was inconsistent in nature, never thought it would class as abuse (Based on what you see on TV and such)

It’s hard, even if you have other people around you it’s hard when someone who should love you unconditionally and treat you with the upmost respect for and try to protect you, and they don’t.

You’re not alone, sadly I am sure many of are there, or have been there. I’m new here too; but I already know this is a safe, caring place where you can vent and ask for help and support x