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I had a argument with my next door neighbor!

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Charleston49

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Apr 5, 2021
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12
Location
Texas
I just recently moved into a new house 3 months ago. My next door neighbor started renovating her home extensively about a month ago. Both inside and outside and the pool. No quiet, constant trucks, jack hammers, hammering, music from the workers, workers parking in front of my house. I had to buy a baby sound machine so my dog could take naps during the day because it was so loud at my house. Very stressful. This past Thursday I was blocked in and could not get out of my drive way. I asked the workers to move, they did not. I got very upset so I went to my neighbors and we had a pretty heated discussion. I tried to talk with her the next day but she was still angry at me and told me she did not like the tone of voice I used with her and waved me off like I was a child. Anyway, my anxiety has been horrible because now I feel like I could have handled the situation better. I took out the fact the workers wouldn’t move the truck and trailer on her and now I have to live next door to her for the next 5 years until my daughter gets out of school. I haven’t slept in 3 days because I keep waking up thinking about it. What do you guys do to stop your brain from worrying so much after you’ve done something. I did apologize to her for getting so upset (the next day) (she flat out told me to my face she was not ready to talk to me) and now looking back I’m not entirely sure she knows I tried to get the workers to move the trucks and trailers from in front of my driveway before I went over to her house. However this has been going on for a month if not more with this nonsense. I just need to quit worrying and to get some sleep but I’m so stressed about going over to her house and demanding the trucks and trailer be moved from in front of my driveway. I’m not sleeping and feel sick about confronting her because I’m not like that at all but I was so mad they would not move the truck and trailer and I had to leave to go pick my daughter up from school I lost my mind! Literally!
 
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Zoe1

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hi Charleston :welcome: !

I've had problems with my neighbours too and my heart goes out to you

I don't think you can sort this out on your own
you need some kind of legal advice

is there a council or charity or something you can turn to ?


:grouphug:🕯
 
lilbit

lilbit

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I empathise. I've had a few run ins with my upstairs neighbours who are noisy. I also went in guns ablazing because I was at the end of my tether, so have made it difficult. Still think they are ass holes though.
 
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Charleston49

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I’m not going to take legal action.
The next day which was Good Friday she had a crew of workers out there and she and her husband would run out there everytime they would pull up and have them not park in front of my house so she knew it was an issue. I would say there were atleast 5-6 cars/trucks. That is when I went out there and tried to talk to her and she waved me off and said she wasn’t ready to talk to me and didn’t like my tone of voice when I spoke to her. I said well I am really sorry about that and went and got in my car and left for the day. I did tell her the issue was them blocking my driveway. No workers Saturday or Sunday and today it is so quiet over there with 1 worker and she actually parked her car in front of her own house and not in front of mine or my other neighbors house. So maybe she got the message, however this is not helping how I feel. I feel like crap and cannot sleep. My anxiety over confronting her is pretty high and I’m not sure why I feel so bad when she has been causing me so many issues for so many weeks with the noise and parking and trash and cigarette butts in the yard. I think all of that came out at once and now I feel super bad because she thinks I’m some crazy person mad about my driveway being blocked.
 
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Charleston49

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I empathise. I've had a few run ins with my upstairs neighbours who are noisy. I also went in guns ablazing because I was at the end of my tether, so have made it difficult. Still think they are ass holes though.
I feel stupid and can’t sleep. I’m glad you understand.
 
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Zoe1

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it sounds like you have done well Charleston !

you've adjusted your tone of voice, apologised
and put her on the back foot !

I know what you mean this can leave a nasty taste in your mouth
do you have any kind of talking help in your area
a mental health service of any kind ?
 
lilbit

lilbit

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She may well feel guilty too, and at least has made sure to not block you in.
Is not easy but the best thing you can do is let things settle for a while then try to talk to her another day when things have calmed. She is probably stressed with the building work, maybe not talking to you is her way of making sure she doesn't say something she'll regret.

again not easy, but try not to go over it again and again in your mind- this rumination is making your anxiety worse. Have you got things to do that will take your mind if it all and distract you? Music or crossword or something x
 
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Charleston49

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She may well feel guilty too, and at least has made sure to not block you in.
Is not easy but the best thing you can do is let things settle for a while then try to talk to her another day when things have calmed. She is probably stressed with the building work, maybe not talking to you is her way of making sure she doesn't say something she'll regret.

again not easy, but try not to go over it again and again in your mind- this rumination is making your anxiety worse. Have you got things to do that will take your mind if it all and distract you? Music or crossword or something x
I agree. She did say when she was waving me off we would be fine she just couldn’t talk to me right now or something like that. I forgot to mention that. She is in her late 50’s with college age kids and is from England and her house was literally falling apart so they had to renovate. I think it’s very stressful over there.
Her house is a disaster area! I mean like inside, outside, pool. It’s a crap zone and me coming over raising hell did not help. Especially the new neighbor. I need to see things from her side too.
 
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Charleston49

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it sounds like you have done well Charleston !

you've adjusted your tone of voice, apologised
and put her on the back foot !

I know what you mean this can leave a nasty taste in your mouth
do you have any kind of talking help in your area
a mental health service of any kind ?
Thank you and yes I have a therapist. I did apologize and that’s the best I can do right now.... and leave her alone!
 
lilbit

lilbit

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You absolutely had every right to complain. But you sound like me- sometimes too focused on the bad stuff and forget the good/ok stuff :)
It does sound like you and her will be ok, just remember that part :)
 
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Charleston49

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Thanks! She’s is very nice. Her husband looked scared to death when I walked over there on Friday. He jumped in his truck and waited until I went home before he left for work. I don’t think they are used to someone confronting them and they are also in a stressful situation and she was unaware that I had been out there 5-10 minutes trying to negotiate with people who do not speak the best English to move their vehicles but also they (the workers) knew EXACTLY what I was saying and didn’t give two you know what’s about helping me so I lost my mind! Omg I’m so embarrassed.
 
lilbit

lilbit

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Breathe... We all lose it sometimes and sounds like you had good reason!

Dont dwell.. invite her for a cuppa and some cake (English 9/10 love tea!) some day soon and she'll probably appreciate the chance to get out of her chaos house for half an hour. You'll have a chance to say you're embarrassed/ felt that you may have overreacted. Hopefully you'll both be laughing about it for years to come!
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi,
I'm sure all will be resolved, try not to worry. We all get angry at times. You've said your sorry.
Maybe buy a bunch a flowers or a sorry card. Hope that's okay to suggest.
I have a horrible neighbour so do understand.
You've already learned from the experience which is great.
Hugs
 
Prettyroses99

Prettyroses99

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Next time they block you in, call the police. That's illegal and the police will get the vehicle removed one way or another.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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I agree they shouldn't block your drive.
 

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