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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

i guess i'm beyond help

2

2Much2Feel

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Apr 24, 2021
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Dustin, I totally agree and relate to what you're saying. They are supposed to be the professionals and so many of them are in the wrong profession if they can't handle intense situations without sending signals of rejection and judgment. It is SO hard to find a good therapist, I've been through at least 26 of them. But there are good ones, and hold on to a good one if you find them.

Therapists should know that sending these form letters of termination is the last thing someone going through immense pain and shit needs. It feels like total judgment and rejection, and the rage you feel is totally understandable. I know that they need to cover their asses legally by sending these forms, but they could at least try to be a little human about it and offer some resources to you, let you know that you're not some horrible person b/c you are experiencing intense emotions. They are being paid a lot of money and I have spent thousands on them, often to get little help. Psychiatrists tend to be cold, so expect that. Psychologists at least are more humane and understanding.

Know that there are SO many people who can relate to what you are saying. You have every right to be angry, and firing off angry emails is part of your mental health issues. They should know that and treat it with more respect than a simple form letter. Again, I know they need to protect themselves legally and physically, but they could try at least to offer other resources. The last thing someone seeking help needs is more judgment and rejection. Hang in there.
 
D

dustin001

Active member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
33
Location
cleveland, ohio
I've been abused all my fucking life. I was never once shown any affection when I was a kid by my mom. I was her verbal and physical punching bag. And thats all ive been my whole life to people. Either a punching bag or a doormat.

Yet I try really hard to do the right thing. Yet I get treated like shit by someone that is suppose to pay to help. And I'm suppose to feel sorry for the therapists feelings? Fuck her and the shitty practice and I'm going to do everything I can to bring them hell legally.

The system should let me fucking die if it doesn't want to help me.

I'm in a rage so much right now I just want to be fucking dead.
 
D

dustin001

Active member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
33
Location
cleveland, ohio
Dustin, I totally agree and relate to what you're saying. They are supposed to be the professionals and so many of them are in the wrong profession if they can't handle intense situations without sending signals of rejection and judgment. It is SO hard to find a good therapist, I've been through at least 26 of them. But there are good ones, and hold on to a good one if you find them.

Therapists should know that sending these form letters of termination is the last thing someone going through immense pain and shit needs. It feels like total judgment and rejection, and the rage you feel is totally understandable. I know that they need to cover their asses legally by sending these forms, but they could at least try to be a little human about it and offer some resources to you, let you know that you're not some horrible person b/c you are experiencing intense emotions. They are being paid a lot of money and I have spent thousands on them, often to get little help. Psychiatrists tend to be cold, so expect that. Psychologists at least are more humane and understanding.

Know that there are SO many people who can relate to what you are saying. You have every right to be angry, and firing off angry emails is part of your mental health issues. They should know that and treat it with more respect than a simple form letter. Again, I know they need to protect themselves legally and physically, but they could try at least to offer other resources. The last thing someone seeking help needs is more judgment and rejection. Hang in there.
Sorry just saw this message. Thank you so much. Reading this has helped me feel better. I needed to read something like this after the past few days.

It's comforting to know I'm not alone. Though I'm sorry you had terrible experiences with therapists as well.

My bp is through the roof I'm trying to calm down but my hope in life is gone =(.
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Apr 24, 2021
Messages
746
Location
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You sound so much like me when I'm in that state of mind, it's hell. I'm really sorry. I wish I could help in some way, but at least venting gets it out some. I've gone through so many shrinks and the right one has saved my life multiple times. I'm in a dark hole right now, so believe me, I'm not saying he fixed me by any means. But the rage point you're at I totally understand. Try to not make any big decisions when you're this mad, if you can. I know impulsive behaviour comes with the anger, and I know that the system is so fucked up and can wipe you out financially, often to no avail. It's totally screwed up.

I got to the point last week where I fell so hard that I actually started googling "no one cares" for some reason, only to find the usual cold internet explaining that no one really does care. But that's not true. As bad as you feel right now, I assure you that there are people who care. Most people don't, unfortunately, and more unfortunate is when they go into the mental health field as a profession. We def need better help, more connections, more understanding. It is out there. 25 shrinks in, I finally found one to stick with. So many of them let me down, one I went after legally (to no avail, as they all back one another, it only made me more angry).

I don't want this to sound condescending in any way or make light of your feelings, b/c believe me, I get this way far too often. But breathing truly helps. It does. It works physically on you, and I've usually found it works better than smoking or other methods. Deep breath, hold for about 8 secs, exhale twice as long. It works. I have a feeling you may get angry at this suggestion, these are often the last things we want to hear when we're that angry. But try it sometime. I really feel for you and hope you can find one of the good ones.
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
746
Location
US
Sorry just saw this message. Thank you so much. Reading this has helped me feel better. I needed to read something like this after the past few days.

It's comforting to know I'm not alone. Though I'm sorry you had terrible experiences with therapists as well.

My bp is through the roof I'm trying to calm down but my hope in life is gone =(.
Just posted again to you. I get it. My BP is near stroke level when I get that way (and then I want a cigarette...). Feel better. Breathe.
 
D

dustin001

Active member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
33
Location
cleveland, ohio
You sound so much like me when I'm in that state of mind, it's hell. I'm really sorry. I wish I could help in some way, but at least venting gets it out some. I've gone through so many shrinks and the right one has saved my life multiple times. I'm in a dark hole right now, so believe me, I'm not saying he fixed me by any means. But the rage point you're at I totally understand. Try to not make any big decisions when you're this mad, if you can. I know impulsive behaviour comes with the anger, and I know that the system is so fucked up and can wipe you out financially, often to no avail. It's totally screwed up.

I got to the point last week where I fell so hard that I actually started googling "no one cares" for some reason, only to find the usual cold internet explaining that no one really does care. But that's not true. As bad as you feel right now, I assure you that there are people who care. Most people don't, unfortunately, and more unfortunate is when they go into the mental health field as a profession. We def need better help, more connections, more understanding. It is out there. 25 shrinks in, I finally found one to stick with. So many of them let me down, one I went after legally (to no avail, as they all back one another, it only made me more angry).

I don't want this to sound condescending in any way or make light of your feelings, b/c believe me, I get this way far too often. But breathing truly helps. It does. It works physically on you, and I've usually found it works better than smoking or other methods. Deep breath, hold for about 8 secs, exhale twice as long. It works. I have a feeling you may get angry at this suggestion, these are often the last things we want to hear when we're that angry. But try it sometime. I really feel for you and hope you can find one of the good ones.
I'm calm now but as usual I had to resort to my vices to self medicate to stay sane.

I'm not sure where I go from here. The future has never been so bleak.

It's even worse I still haven't let go of the pain of the breakup.

I feel worthless and so alone. I swear if it wasn't for my 🐈 I wouldn't be here to type this right now.

But thank you so much for your empathy and understanding.

I really needed it thank you.

Edit: also you didn't upset me with the breathing thing. I get that a lot but it's only issue when they personal telling me it delievers it in such a cold fashion.

I can tell you care and mean well. Breathing works sometimes but sadly self medicating usually provides the most relief.

I wish I could cope in a more healthy manner.
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Apr 24, 2021
Messages
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Amen to that, Dustin. I did my own share of them today, then slept the day away. It is bleak, and I feel your pain. Time is literally the only thing that makes the pain not take over. Been through it so many times, still woke up feeling broken b/c of my divorce 8 years ago! Wtf. When will that pass? But for me it only passes when I meet someone else, unfortunately. Time and finding someone out there to connect with. It's awesome you have your cat, they can really pull us through, always there and nonjudgmental (although cats can be a bit mores than dogs, lol).

Cope as you can, just trying to not be too self destructive and hope you can too. We can get through these hard times. We will get through this. Lord.
 
D

dustin001

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Mar 6, 2020
Messages
33
Location
cleveland, ohio
Amen to that, Dustin. I did my own share of them today, then slept the day away. It is bleak, and I feel your pain. Time is literally the only thing that makes the pain not take over. Been through it so many times, still woke up feeling broken b/c of my divorce 8 years ago! Wtf. When will that pass? But for me it only passes when I meet someone else, unfortunately. Time and finding someone out there to connect with. It's awesome you have your cat, they can really pull us through, always there and nonjudgmental (although cats can be a bit mores than dogs, lol).

Cope as you can, just trying to not be too self destructive and hope you can too. We can get through these hard times. We will get through this. Lord.
Thanks man. If you ever need to talk or just wanna shoot the shit. PM me anytime.
 
D

dustin001

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Mar 6, 2020
Messages
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Location
cleveland, ohio
Just a update...

I've decided to sue this therapist and her supervisor.

I don't have any doubts that nothing will come from it as there seems to be sadly no accountability for shitty therapists and practices.

But if there is a 1% chance they will be held accountable I'm going for it.

The way they handled this situation was wrong and i feel more suicidal then ever.

I shouldn't feel this after going to them for help.
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
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Apr 24, 2021
Messages
746
Location
US
Hey, Dustin. God, this is the worst, the rage. I reported mine to the state, at least get some comfort knowing he has some mark on his record, although it's not enough. I feel like someone should monitor how many of his patients have killed themselves, he almost encouraged it with his inaction and indifference. Told me when I was getting a hysterectomy that maybe that would stop my "hysteria", things like that. I went in after self harm one time, my jeans soaked through with blood, and he literally did nothing. Ignored it. He was pushing me to it, then to top it off called on his trip to Hawaii to say he was at the ocean having a drink and making a toast to me. WTF?? Total narcissist, I feel like I paid for his Lexus and lifestyle with all the money I wasted going to him, but he told me I likely would need him for the rest of my life. They can really fuck with your brain, but in the end no doctor would back me up in court, so I could only report him to the state. Getting pissed all over again thinking about it. Thousands of dollars to this psycho.

Anyway, also writing a good hard-hitting yelp review can feel damn good. Every time I look at my review of him online and know others see that I am saying he literally pushes his patients to suicide and enjoys it, feeds his narcissism, I feel good just knowing other people see it and he sees it. It's hard to get any legal justice out of these things, hard to get past that rage, I know. But in time you do, and I really hope you can find a DBT therapist, someone who knows how to handle the rage and intense emotions rather than leaving you when you desperately need help.

Keep talking. We're on your side, and venting does help to some extent. Write a review. Warn others so this ass won't make more money in a profession he shouldn't have gone into in the first place. Thinking of you!
 
D

dustin001

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Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
33
Location
cleveland, ohio
fuck i wish i had the strength to end my life. all the bullshit that people say about things get better in time it's a crock of shit. i've been abused and used all my life. and everytime i try to do something to move past it life slaps me back down.

i don't have any friends or anyone that truly gives a shit about me. my mom still thinks she was justified in all the fucking abuse she put me through in my childhood.

i don't get why i can't just die without worrying about being locked up in a ward.

yes i am fortunate to have many blessings in my life. god has been there for me in times when i really didn't deserve it.

but i still have this empty feeling whenever i go out and see all this people living their lives with their nice cars and i'm constantly on the verge of being homeless barely scraping by.

it's nearly impossible to not be bitter.
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Apr 24, 2021
Messages
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fuck i wish i had the strength to end my life. all the bullshit that people say about things get better in time it's a crock of shit. i've been abused and used all my life. and everytime i try to do something to move past it life slaps me back down.

i don't have any friends or anyone that truly gives a shit about me. my mom still thinks she was justified in all the fucking abuse she put me through in my childhood.

i don't get why i can't just die without worrying about being locked up in a ward.

yes i am fortunate to have many blessings in my life. god has been there for me in times when i really didn't deserve it.

but i still have this empty feeling whenever i go out and see all this people living their lives with their nice cars and i'm constantly on the verge of being homeless barely scraping by.

it's nearly impossible to not be bitter.
God, Dustin, this sucks so bad. You've really been going through it, and I know you're trying. Hearing it just breaks my heart. As I've told you, I get all that, I know what it's like, and it may be that way for me tomorrow. What's going on exactly?
 
M

MHFPokeplantz

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Joined
Feb 17, 2021
Messages
294
Location
Brazil
Relate to this, feels bad :(

If you feel like, you can speak of your situation and struggles here, to get some relief

Hoping youre a little better somehow
 
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