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I found out my close friend with BPD was hacking into my instagram account. Anyone have any insight as to why or how to proceed?

E

equanamity15

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This is a former roommate, a very close friend, and a person who was recently in my bridal party in August. During my bachelorette party, she got extremely intoxicated and kept saying to me "do you know how hard it is for the person you love to love someone else?" (she is a straight married mother of 3).

I found out very recently from my login activity that she was signed into my instagram account. I confronted her on it by trying to accept blame and asking if there was any way that I had stayed signed in on her home computer or phone on accident. (There was NO way this was the case).

She said she checked and "didn't think so." Ever since, she has completely given me the silent treatment, went from posting on her own social media account 3+ times per day to not posting a single thing either on her stories or on her personal account since the day I confronted her. (Over 2 weeks ago).

She has tremendous abandonment issues, and comes from an abusive childhood. I have had an extreme amount of empathy and love for her through out our 14 year friendship but this truly took it too far and really frightened me. Does anyone have any insight as to what may have been going through her head or what she may be thinking?
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Did you change your password after she did that? :hug:

She was maybe worried about what you was saying about her on there, if she gets paranoia :hug1:
 
E

equanamity15

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@midnightphoenix thank you so much for your reply. It’s funny you say that because a few weeks prior she was not invited to another friends bachelorette party (after her behavior at mine). She does have paranoia and it makes sense if she was trying to ensure I wasn’t talking about her.
And yes, I changed every password to every account I have!
 
M

Mistral

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You have done everything you can. Saying more than the hint you have already given to her will probably just make her dig a bigger hole for herself as a full confession is unlikely. Certainly do not mention it to anybody else or post online about it. Legally, they are only unproven allegations, so you have to be aware of that aspect as well.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Mmm. This is sad. She's let her trust / abandonment fears hurt and betray your privacy, and has lied and continues to lie to you.

I have been SO tempted to be able to see what my Favourite Person says to people on her phone. I don't care about Instagram or Facebook. I want to know what she says and who she talks to on Messenger, text and email. I actually googled how to be able to do this.

If it had been easy, and I could absolutely NEVER have been caught, I would have done it. Yes. I admit that.

I have this fear that she doesn't really care about me and I wanted to know if she was talking about me, and just...stuff like what she said to others, how she was feeling, there's a LOT of drama in her life with regard to her 2 adult kids and I never quite know who is telling the truth with all that stuff...

But it was too hard to do, so I never did it.

And I'm very glad I didn't, because even if she never found out, I'd feel terrible for having done it.
 
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