- Jan 4, 2021
So, throughout the day, I won't eat breakfast or lunch or snacks at all. I'll mostly drink water and coffee, then I'll go home and eat dinner but then purge it out. But, I had a talk with myself basically telling myself that this isn't healthy and that I need to eat something, because feeling cold and shaky had become a toxic form of "normal" for me. So, I ate a bowl of beans, an avocado, and a tomato. It was extremely hard.. Because something that probably would've taken someone 15 mins or so to eat, it took me about 40 mins. I was trying to distract myself from eating it all, and drinking water, then walking back and forth.. But, I tried to finish it and I almost did, leaving 2 slices of avocado on my plate and I wanted to cry.. Mainly because I feel almost consumed by my eating disorder, but the fact that I was able to talk myself into eating something during the day, gave me hope..