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I finally opened up to work about my issues.

Scott Chegg

Scott Chegg

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Uk
Hi All

Today I finally opened up to my work about my illness. I'm not ashamed to admit I took the I'm a big tough man pull myself together approach when it came to work but the pressure just got too much.

I was prompted by an email sent to the company last night by my boss telling everyone they are expected to be back in the office and WFH is over which crushed me. WFH has been a revelation for me and I have felt the relief from this part of my illness for the last 18 months.

We have a mental health liaison where I work and although I have never used her before I finally emailed her the details and she is going to relay my problems to the boss, I'm just hoping he is understanding as where I work is very much a macho sales environment and I am one of the key sales guys for the company.

The aspects in which my illness affects me at the office are complex and I have panic attacks before and during work which are really embarrassing as I pay lots of visits to the bathroom to hide them and its just exhausting, meetings stress me out and I’m tortured inside during them and panic before them and I just bottle it all up, for years I have avoided work parties and going out to lunch with colleagues, all while being the top sales guy as I hide it very very well.

When the lockdown happened, it was the greatest feeling in the world to me to have the freedom to get up later see the kids and wife more, walk my dog at lunchtimes and do my work under much less pressure. When I was in the office knowing that my calls were being recorded and monitored made me extremely anxious to the point that I avoided making calls and would use skype and email and calls were a last resort. Since being at home I have been able to use my mobile phone and I can call people without the added pressure of knowing I am monitored which I just love.

My boss is very old school and he loves the office buzz but I am the opposite and I prefer to be on my own to do my work without the fear I get when around others and the office environment is somewhere I do not wish to be anymore.

I have been at my work for almost 10 years and the pay is fantastic but I now fear the boss will look for a younger salesperson to fill my role who also enjoys the office buzz like he does.

Thanks for reading and if anyone else has been in this position please share your experiences.
 
H

HumbleHubby

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 19, 2020
Messages
232
Location
Essex
Can relate, I was open and honest with my work and got my contract changed to perm work from home, only needing to go into the office for compulsory meetings like 1 2 1.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,304
I just wanted to say you are the top sales guy for a reason (you are obviously very good at what you do). All the time you are making your Company money why would they want to side-line you? Could it be you are over-thinking and all these monitoring strategies are unwanted pressures? You might find you aren't the only one who finds it a constant pressure to achieve and exceed your performance. I'm assuming no one has ever criticised your work etc. and that should be a huge factor you can draw from. Some bosses might like the buzz generated by those who are exceeding at work as it can inspire and motivate the rest of the team as successes become recognised and celebrated, and everyone might feel part of those successes and inspired to achieve more. From a Company perspective it might be seen as a win, win situation provided people don't feel over-pressured to constantly push themselves and over a period of time feel their best is no longer good enough. Possibly looking at the sitaution from a different perspective might help alleviate some of the pressure you are feeling at the moment. Here's hoping your bosses do what they can to put your mind at rest and help you to effortlessly achieve without the added pressures... Hope this helps. :)
 
Scott Chegg

Scott Chegg

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Uk
I just wanted to say you are the top sales guy for a reason (you are obviously very good at what you do). All the time you are making your Company money why would they want to side-line you? Could it be you are over-thinking and all these monitoring strategies are unwanted pressures? You might find you aren't the only one who finds it a constant pressure to achieve and exceed your performance. I'm assuming no one has ever criticised your work etc. and that should be a huge factor you can draw from. Some bosses might like the buzz generated by those who are exceeding at work as it can inspire and motivate the rest of the team as successes become recognised and celebrated, and everyone might feel part of those successes and inspired to achieve more. From a Company perspective it might be seen as a win, win situation provided people don't feel over-pressured to constantly push themselves and over a period of time feel their best is no longer good enough. Possibly looking at the sitaution from a different perspective might help alleviate some of the pressure you are feeling at the moment. Here's hoping your bosses do what they can to put your mind at rest and help you to effortlessly achieve without the added pressures... Hope this helps. :)
Hi OCDguy

Thanks for the reply, Its funny I wouldn't class myself as a good sales guy I'm just organised and attentive which seems to work well for me, and in this day and age people don't want pressuring and they certainly don't get that from me :)

My boss does criticise my work as he cant understand how I do the business I do without being on the phone all day pushing people to buy, he's very old school and it's clear he doesn't like not being in control and not being able to listen to my calls as I do my business in a more modern way. I have won sales man of the year the last 4 years so he kind of leaves me to it now but I can sense his frustration that his way is not the best way.

I've been surprised by my employer today by the offer of paid Psychotherapy so I am taking them up on the offer and hopefully another step in the right direction for me.

Thanks again 👍
 
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