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I feel useless

H

huntsman

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 31, 2020
Messages
51
Location
EU
Hi.

I have been feeling really useless recently. I can't seem to be able to study as well as my friends, and fall behind a lot. My friends keep saying I'm smart... but I study 3 times as much as they do and get worse grades than them...

Everyone just has such high expectations of me... not just in school, but out of it as well, and then are disappointed when I don't meet their expectations... I feel so useless and annoying... My friends just blindly believe that I am equal to them. But I'm really not... Every disappointment just makes me feel more and more useless.

Sometimes I find my self thinking that they would be better off without me... sure they would be sad for a while... but I get the feeling they would be a lot better off in the long run...

I try to tell my self its not true but the more people I disappoint the more I start to believe it is true.
 
J

JoleneInCalifornia

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Joined
Nov 23, 2020
Messages
106
Location
Usa
I used to feel the same way as you, thinking I wasnt as 'smart' or 'intelligent' as my peers in class. It seems as though those around me were able to understand and comprehend things easily. What i found was that my study habits weren't helping me. We all have different ways of learning things. You need to find the best way that your mind digests the information. For instance, I was taught that using flash cards was the best way to remember things. It worked for my peers but not me. Instead, continuous repetition of writing it out over and over again and highlighting it and drawing it out worked best. I also do well with making up my own acronyms. For the more grueling subjects, I created rhymes (used this for my physiology and microbiology courses). So, to simplify, find what study method works best for you. Also, remember that in order to get good grades you have to put in the time. Every unit is equivalent to 3 hours a week. For a 3 unit class, i would study 6-9 hours (depending on how difficult the subject matter was).
 
Talina

Talina

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Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 14, 2020
Messages
1,537
Location
Sweden
I understand perfectly the struggle and the pressure you feel. It must be quite hard to handle and you aren’t a person that is useless.

I have no idea how people think I’m a person that got top grades when in fact I was a student with the lowest grades in high school. But we all have our strength and weakness in different area. My own weakness is the academic but I have it easier to learn practical things for example fixing the car or baking. I’ve accepted I’m a slow learner and can need more time to do certain things and learn.

So I often try to not focus on how well certain things go in uni. I instead focus on how much I have learned and my improvements compared with when I first started and now. Sometimes you will become quite suprised on how much improvement you have done.

I think we can sometimes put too much pressure on ourself. We need to learn everything can’t be perfect and that it’s okay to take our time and that it’s okay to reach out for help.

Can you talk with a person in school about you problem with studying? They can maybe help you or provide with things that make studying a bit easier. I know without the help from school there was no way for me getting into uni.
 
H

huntsman

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 31, 2020
Messages
51
Location
EU
I used to feel the same way as you, thinking I wasnt as 'smart' or 'intelligent' as my peers in class. It seems as though those around me were able to understand and comprehend things easily. What i found was that my study habits weren't helping me. We all have different ways of learning things. You need to find the best way that your mind digests the information. For instance, I was taught that using flash cards was the best way to remember things. It worked for my peers but not me. Instead, continuous repetition of writing it out over and over again and highlighting it and drawing it out worked best. I also do well with making up my own acronyms. For the more grueling subjects, I created rhymes (used this for my physiology and microbiology courses). So, to simplify, find what study method works best for you. Also, remember that in order to get good grades you have to put in the time. Every unit is equivalent to 3 hours a week. For a 3 unit class, i would study 6-9 hours (depending on how difficult the subject matter was).
Hi

Thank you for your advice.

I have tried many different ways of studying and am yet to find one that works... I know I learn best through trial and error (from things like art and rules to games, which I can remember very clearly and easily). But don't really know how to implement that into studying.
 
H

huntsman

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 31, 2020
Messages
51
Location
EU
I understand perfectly the struggle and the pressure you feel. It must be quite hard to handle and you aren’t a person that is useless.

I have no idea how people think I’m a person that got top grades when in fact I was a student with the lowest grades in high school. But we all have our strength and weakness in different area. My own weakness is the academic but I have it easier to learn practical things for example fixing the car or baking. I’ve accepted I’m a slow learner and can need more time to do certain things and learn.

So I often try to not focus on how well certain things go in uni. I instead focus on how much I have learned and my improvements compared with when I first started and now. Sometimes you will become quite suprised on how much improvement you have done.

I think we can sometimes put too much pressure on ourself. We need to learn everything can’t be perfect and that it’s okay to take our time and that it’s okay to reach out for help.

Can you talk with a person in school about you problem with studying? They can maybe help you or provide with things that make studying a bit easier. I know without the help from school there was no way for me getting into uni.
Hi

Thank you for your advice.

I too feel like I learn practical things a lot easier than academic stuff.

I have talked to some of my professors, and some have been helpful, but others have dismissed me with a "That's not my problem attitude".
 
Talina

Talina

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 14, 2020
Messages
1,537
Location
Sweden
Hi

Thank you for your advice.

I too feel like I learn practical things a lot easier than academic stuff.

I have talked to some of my professors, and some have been helpful, but others have dismissed me with a "That's not my problem attitude".
You will always meet teacher that won’t understand and see from your view. I don’t know how many I met while growing up. It’s a bit like the advice I got from a chemistry teacher, that I should never study chemistry and right now a big part of my studies are chemistry.

So even though some teacher aren’t that understanding. It will help to at least have a few that understand.

When I study I use different techniques depending on what subject. For example doing flash cards, using lectures from youtube within certain areas I don’t understand, drawing and so on. For example biology and anatomy I will often draw and write a short summary that go with the picture. While watching youtube lecture you can find short 10 min videos that show or tell easy examples on how to do things.

Some video is better than others and some subject don’t have anyone that explain but it’s worth a try. Because people will explain things differently something another person understand might not work with the next person. So having the chance to see and hear other people explain in different ways, can help you get a better understanding.

I hope you will manage to find a way to study. I only found my way to study when I started uni.
 
H

huntsman

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 31, 2020
Messages
51
Location
EU
You will always meet teacher that won’t understand and see from your view. I don’t know how many I met while growing up. It’s a bit like the advice I got from a chemistry teacher, that I should never study chemistry and right now a big part of my studies are chemistry.

So even though some teacher aren’t that understanding. It will help to at least have a few that understand.

When I study I use different techniques depending on what subject. For example doing flash cards, using lectures from youtube within certain areas I don’t understand, drawing and so on. For example biology and anatomy I will often draw and write a short summary that go with the picture. While watching youtube lecture you can find short 10 min videos that show or tell easy examples on how to do things.

Some video is better than others and some subject don’t have anyone that explain but it’s worth a try. Because people will explain things differently something another person understand might not work with the next person. So having the chance to see and hear other people explain in different ways, can help you get a better understanding.

I hope you will manage to find a way to study. I only found my way to study when I started uni.

Thank you, I will try.
 
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