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I feel so unsafe

messymoo

messymoo

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I'm feeling so suicidal and I have been trying to use my DBT skills to help, but nothing is working it just feels I'm delaying the inevitable.

I am so tearful and I'm trying not to cry as I don't want my hubby and daughter to know I'm that miserable. I don't want to drag them down. I don't want to feel a burden to them.

I am reluctant to call the crisis line again they said I could as much as I need to. I just think no one can help me like ive reached the end of a long road and it's the end of me. I've tried various therapies and groups and been in the mental health system for 18 years and I'm through with it. They can't help me I was stupid for all these years thinking they could.

It all feels very hopeless and bleak. I am feeling like I'm completely alone.

I
 
W

Waverunner

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You aren't alone Messymoo. I think you should call the crisis line though. That is what they are there for.
 
katya

katya

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Please call them again. They're there for you. I know you don't want to be a burden on your family, but you're not; they care about you. They want you to feel better, like we do. Please remember that everything will seem bleak right now because you're feeling so low. Please try to remember that it can't be as bad as it seems right now. Sounds like you need to call them to me. Hope you can soon.

:hug1:
 
G

Gredge23

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On my last week of DBT myself , what skills to dat have you tried? First off pat urself on the back u are being willing not will full. When you are willing change is possible I promise you! Iv attemtempted in the past , and when I was on DBT I had a few times I got close to doig something stupid but being willing and trying my skills got me out of where I was and I'm so happy I got out of it.CHANGE IS POSSIBLE!
 
E

Emmer

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It is going to help to talk to them messymoo. I get on the phone frequently and always, always, always, feel better for having spoken. It helps to write but it is a million times better to phone, as long as you know they are going to be supportive and not upsetting. I call saneline and they are so non-judgemental. I will be in a real hopeless state, as you are now, and at the end i will be crying but feel more able to get on with my day.

Your family would want to help you through. Talk to them, your husband, talk to him. Sometimes just telling someone helps so much, a cuddle, maybe just go and give one of them a cuddle and tell them you love them and go from there.

This is an emotion that you need to ride. It'll come to an end. Yes there will be more to ride down the line, but deal with one at a time. That is all you can do.
 
H

Helena1

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am sorry you still feeling so bad. i think you should call up the crisis, does talking to them help you?
i am sure something can help you, maybe it will be the next thing you try.
:hug5:
 
messymoo

messymoo

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I just see no point in calling them they will just say that I could go to the hospital and have an assessment or I can just keep using my skills. There isn't anything they can do. It's been a bit of an overwhelming realisation really.

I've always been so ready to try anything they have thrown at me and I always end up in the same pit of despair and hopelessness. I guess I'm feeling I can't pick myself up and try anymore. There just feels little point what's meant to be is meant to be. I've tried to change I really have.
 

MarlieeB

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Messy can you at least please tell your hubby how you are feeling. Your daughter doesn't need to know if you ask him to not let her know.

Please stay safe.

xxxx
 
G

Gredge23

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KEEP USING SKILLS! Ur doing a great job a DBT saying "your doing your best but you CAN DO BETTER" I find that a little judgemental but it is true to a certain extent.
 
C

Christobel

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As others have said, you are in a crisis, so I should definitely call the crisis team. When I called them last I did't have to go to hospital as an inpatient but just stayed there in the day. It was very helpful for me to get some professional help. I shouldn't worry too much about crying in front of your family, it is part of how you are feeling. I'm sure they love you very much and want you to get better.
 
H

Helena1

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i am sorry. it can get so tiring can't it?
what would happen at the assessment? maybe that would be for the best if you cant keep safe at home.
can you get your support worker to come see you more often, how do you think you can make that happen? do you think that would help in the longer term, i know that is not gonna help right now though.
 
messymoo

messymoo

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I can't see the point of sitting up A&E for hours for no reason they will just send me home and tell me to speak to my social worker on Monday. If they can't offer me anything when I overdose they are not going to offer me anything when I haven't.

Regardless of what I say. The services just don't seem to want to help me at all Its always down to me. I must take responsibility for my actions. I am the only one who can change. It's all me me me its my fault I was abused. it's my fault I was bullied, everything that's happened is my fault I do take responsibility for everything. I know I will be responsible for upsetting my family. I am sorry for being me more than I can put into words.

I feel I'm being ungrateful of all your kind words and advice I'm sorry. I really am at the lowest ive felt for a long time. I don't know what I was trying to achieve by posting I suppose I shouldn't of.

I will tell hubby when he comes in how I feel. Not that it will be much help either.

I'm sorry to be so dismal and bleak.
 

MarlieeB

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No need to be sorry.

It's better that you are reaching out instead of bottling it all up.

Please keep posting.

xxxxx
 
katya

katya

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I can't see the point of sitting up A&E for hours for no reason they will just send me home and tell me to speak to my social worker on Monday. If they can't offer me anything when I overdose they are not going to offer me anything when I haven't.

Regardless of what I say. The services just don't seem to want to help me at all Its always down to me. I must take responsibility for my actions. I am the only one who can change. It's all me me me its my fault I was abused. it's my fault I was bullied, everything that's happened is my fault I do take responsibility for everything. I know I will be responsible for upsetting my family. I am sorry for being me more than I can put into words.

I feel I'm being ungrateful of all your kind words and advice I'm sorry. I really am at the lowest ive felt for a long time. I don't know what I was trying to achieve by posting I suppose I shouldn't of.

I will tell hubby when he comes in how I feel. Not that it will be much help either.

I'm sorry to be so dismal and bleak.
I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say we're glad you posted here and opened up to us, because that's a really good sign. You must open up if you feel like this; please don't suffer in silence.

It's not your fault. None of it is. I'm so sorry you've been made to feel this way. You're right in that you're the only one who can change, but you can't be expected to do it on your own. You deserve help and support.

Even if you have to wait in A&E for a bit, it's better than feeling like this in a crisis state, surely?

I'm hoping your husband will be supportive and point you in the direction of the support system you need right now.

Hope you feel better.

:hug1:

Thinking about you. Please keep posting!
 
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