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I feel so spineless and afraid

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TinyPotato

Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Fayetteville, GA
My S.O. and I have been living together at my family's home for about 2 years now. He's been helpful to me a lot since the beginning but my family keeps telling me I need to make him do more yet they don't want him too involved and my anxiety to speak up just kept boiling over until today and now I'm scared. My family would never let him know about how they really felt, they'd tell me behind his back and today I told him how they really felt and now I feel like my life is about to change and my anxiety hurts more than ever. All I want is for my family and my s.o. to get along without all these secrets from my family getting in the way. My s.o. always feels like he's about to be kicked out, even though he's been talking care of me and my sister with necessities. He doesn't even keep his clothes in the house he keeps them in his car. And now that I let him know what my family thinks I feel like my family is going to desert me because I told him the truth. I don't know what to do to help them see eye to eye. Do you think I made a good decision? My anxiety is making me feel like the worst person ever...
 
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Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
6,718
Location
Nowhere
hi TinyPotato :welcome:

I suppose its the natural thing
to want to tell your partner everything
so you can work through it together
I dont know what his temperament is like
and how he will take this news
but hopefully its now something you can work through together
as a couple, and keep posting here about it

I dont know what other resources you have in your area
probably not much
is there any help with counselling
or social groups for MH issues ?

maybe your doctor can help as well

:grouphug::goodluck:
 
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TinyPotato

Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Fayetteville, GA
hi TinyPotato :welcome:

I suppose its the natural thing
to want to tell your partner everything
so you can work through it together
I dont know what his temperament is like
and how he will take this news
but hopefully its now something you can work through together
as a couple, and keep posting here about it

I dont know what other resources you have in your area
probably not much
is there any help with counselling
or social groups for MH issues ?

maybe your doctor can help as well

:grouphug::goodluck:
Thanks for the concern, unfortunately there isn't much therapy sources for me here. And because I only have a part time job I can't afford any counseling. I just hope everything gets better from here, though I know things are going to be different now
 
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Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
6,718
Location
Nowhere
k I'm sorry to hear that
but you have us here
let us know how it goes

:hug5: 💜
 
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TinyPotato

Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Fayetteville, GA
I will. Thanks so much . It's nice to just get the feelings out when there's no one to talk to.
 
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Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
6,718
Location
Nowhere
yes I have written buckets on here
and feel better for it !

:grouphug:
 
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AuraSunset

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2019
Messages
50
Location
UK
It's not right your partner is keeping his clothes in the car and constantly feeling like he might be kicked out. Tell your family he would probably be willing, even want to do more if he felt like he was part of the household rather than feeling like an unwanted guest. Nobody is invested in a situation they don't feel welcome in. If you really don't think things can be resolved, maybe you could ask your family to help you and your partner move into a place of your own? I don't think they will desert you. Despite the problems you have, they are letting you both live in their home so clearly they love and care about you. Sometimes a situation just becomes too tense for everyone.
 
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TinyPotato

Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Fayetteville, GA
I totally agree, and I've felt so guilty about this. He used to own his own house but then gave it to his sibling to make her and her new family's living situation better and came to be with me. I've felt bad about it ever since that day. And to make it worse it's like my family wants me to keep the house once they go but I doubt I'll be in a better job condition before then. It's such a complicated situation and I really wish my family would sit and talk with me 😔
 
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AuraSunset

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2019
Messages
50
Location
UK
I'm sorry you feel guilty about it because you shouldn't. This isn't your fault and by taking your partner in, you made it possible for him to do something lovely and incredibly selfless for his sister. He sounds like a good person. I feel like your family really do need to sit down and discuss things with you, and with your partner present to. But I know that doesn't always work. You can't force people to talk if they don't want to. I really hope they will come around and agree to at least try.
 
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