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I feel so lonely (tw suicidal thoughts)

goingpiano

goingpiano

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Joined
Nov 7, 2020
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2
Location
Sweden
i'm starting to feel like everything's falling apart around me. i end up acting impulsively bc i keep thinking that it doesn't matter bc i'll be gone soon. rationally, i know that suicide isn't the solution but i still can't stop myself from thinking about all the ways in which i could k**l myself. rn the only thing stopping me from doing anything is that i'm still living with my parents but i'm moving out in a few months and i'm scared. i've been struggling with my mental health for as long as i can remember so i know that it's not just magically going to get better but i still can't bring myself to get actual professional help. at this point i'm not even sure i know what my "major symptoms" are bc it's all so normalised to me now, so if i were to go what would i even say? when i was younger i used to think that surely there'd be a point where i'd know that i was ill "enough" to need help but the goalposts keep moving and it's ridiculous, but these days i find myself arguing that bc i'm alive it's alright which is scary as hell.
 
Talina

Talina

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You need to get professional help, myself didn’t want to seek any help either. But it can give you chance to get better. I always said I’ll wait and just came up with new excuses why I shouldn’t seek any help.

I see you are from sweden. I’m also from sweden and went to umo first when I decided to get help. If you are still within their age range and find it scary seeking help from other places. They kindly accepted me and also helped my friend, at least they helped setting up and where you can go.

Sometimes you need a bit of a push and decide that you need to get professional help. To not let our excuses control us for a chance to get better.

So try reach out for help. At least know we on the forum is here to support you, if ever you want to chat you aren’t alone :hug:
 
goingpiano

goingpiano

New member
Joined
Nov 7, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Sweden
You need to get professional help, myself didn’t want to seek any help either. But it can give you chance to get better. I always said I’ll wait and just came up with new excuses why I shouldn’t seek any help.

I see you are from sweden. I’m also from sweden and went to umo first when I decided to get help. If you are still within their age range and find it scary seeking help from other places. They kindly accepted me and also helped my friend, at least they helped setting up and where you can go.

Sometimes you need a bit of a push and decide that you need to get professional help. To not let our excuses control us for a chance to get better.

So try reach out for help. At least know we on the forum is here to support you, if ever you want to chat you aren’t alone :hug:
I'm happy that they could help you, but unfortunately that wasn't my experience when I went there about a year ago. As I guess you know, they tend to focus quite a bit on how your mental state is impacting your academic performance and the "problem" is that I've always made straight A's. So the person I spoke to essentially just told me that I was "worrying for nothing" and to start going on walks to "clear my mind" which kind of put me off the whole ordeal. At this point I don't feel like I'd be able to fight back if that were to happen and I don't think I could handle being invalidated like that again.
 
Crazyswede

Crazyswede

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Nov 5, 2020
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50
Location
Norfolk
You are not alone. I have only just joined here, and everyone seems very friendly and helpful.
 
Talina

Talina

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 14, 2020
Messages
1,487
Location
Sweden
I'm happy that they could help you, but unfortunately that wasn't my experience when I went there about a year ago. As I guess you know, they tend to focus quite a bit on how your mental state is impacting your academic performance and the "problem" is that I've always made straight A's. So the person I spoke to essentially just told me that I was "worrying for nothing" and to start going on walks to "clear my mind" which kind of put me off the whole ordeal. At this point I don't feel like I'd be able to fight back if that were to happen and I don't think I could handle being invalidated like that again.
That was sad that they didn’t help you and made you feel invalidated. Specially when you tried to reach out for help :hug:

It can be you met the wrong person. Where I went there was no talk about the academic. It was more focus about the mental health and my own thoughts and feelings. So you can try again to talk but with another professional person, at least give it a try again to reach out for help. Maybe not at the same UMO. Because there will be good and bad professionals.

A site where you can chat or call if you get sucidal thoughts, you will be anonymous:
Mind Självmordslinjen - för dig som har tankar på att ta ditt liv

At least you came to the right place to find support :grouphug:
 
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