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I feel so guilty I cant stand it

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biggerdandy

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Oct 5, 2014
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Back in December, my dog died. She was really ill and there was nothing we could do. She was my first pet that Id had (we had others before when I was younger but they were ones my parents had, and were when I was very small). We got her during the move to our current house, and it doesnt feel right livinghere without her.

My parents decided to get a new dog, and while we picked her up today to try to help them (they have never had a period of time without one) and the sad thing is I dont feel I can love this new one just yet. I cry every day and night over my last one and feel awful because I dont feel ready for a new one in our house. I cant stop crying. I dont feel I can bond with her and I feel so bad about it too
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

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Please dont feel bad. You are still grieving. My dog died 1 1/2 years ago and i got another dog a year ago. I still want my other dog to be here. I still love her more than my new dog.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Oct 23, 2014
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I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. It must have been heart-breaking.

Some people do rush out to try to replace the hole that's left when a beloved pet dies. There's no right or wrong here. It just sounds as though you needed longer to grieve before a new dog was introduced.

Please try not to feel bad about not bonding with your new dog. Sometimes these things just take time. Perhaps, when you feel ready, you could start spending a short time each day playing with and getting used to her.

Try to see her as a new pet who just wants attention as opposed to a replacement for the dog you loved so much.

I hope you are feeling better soon. :hug1:
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your old canine friend. Must have been absolutely heart-breaking. :hug1:

Please don't be too hard on yourself for not taking to this new dog right away.
You are still grieving and i'm wondering if a part of you almost doesn't want to open your heart again because it's just so painful when you have to say goodbye.
Either way, I think it's only to be expected that you;re feeling the way you do so please - you mustn't feel guilty.

I'm sure in time she'll naturally grow on you.
 
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biggerdandy

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I feel like I dont want to live without mollie to be honest. She was the best and only company I had for a lot of my time
 

MarlieeB

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I haven't answered before because I find anything to do with animals very triggering.

When Ben, who was the dog I grew up with Died I was heartbroken, I was the one who took him on his final walk was with him when the vet came...

Anyway I never thought that I would accept another Dog and my family were not going to get another one but in the end the house felt so empty without him.

We used to always have German Shepherds or Border Collies but we decided to go different this time and went for a Cocker Spaniel. His name is Max and he is my world. I still miss Ben all the time. I have a massive picture of him next to my bed but Max filled that void. He never replaced Ben but he made the grief better.

Losing a animal sometimes is harder than losing a human.

xxx
 
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biggerdandy

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Nothing will fill this void. I know it. Mollie was basically the centre of the family, the baby. She was always barking and playing and 18 months before she died, she went blind overnight. She was never the same since. Time went on, she just kept getting worse: Eventually her kidneys failed and after a long bout she died. She was so unhappy too and I wish I could have eased her pain. I carried her into the vets and I feel so guilty for it too.

I know dogs can sense human emotion and react to it too, and i worry that my depression may have made her feel worse.

This new dog we have is really quiet too. It almost feels wrong to me that a dog should be so quiet (I know they arent the same animal, theyre not even the same breed. Mollie was a tibetan terrier, Elsa is a collie) but it feel off to me. Doesnt help shes also sleeping in Mollies old bed, and my parents gave her mollies first ball, and her blankets. I feel thats not helping me seeing those about.

Mollie was very much a part of me, and i dont feel right without her in my life.
 
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