There's a tall apartment building right next to where we live. Everytime I look at it I think "I'm so glad we don't live up there because I would've done something to end my life." I don't feel safe. I don't like my mind or who I am as a person. I'm tired of feeling numb. I want to cry but my emotions are blocked. I just want to feel good again. I miss my cat so much. I feel like I didn't cry enough for her. I'm so sorry.