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I feel scared when being around people that drinks trigger warning

Talina

Talina

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I have trouble being with people and will always feel a certain fear. But my fear towards drunk people double up.

For example: I took the train today, from no where while waiting for the train to stop a drunk person swing his fist towards me and nearly hit me in the face. I back away and keep my distance trying to not escalate the situation. He tell to come up towards him and have his fist up. I didn’t provoke, didn’t even stare at him or anything but he still threw a punch towards me. It was really close of me getting hit and my friend behind me thought I had been hit, so it was a close call. I always keep my eyes up around my surroundings, even though I might look like it. Not really the first time a drunk person randomly swing a fist towards me 🙄

All the people on the train only look while my friend was hiding behind me.

As a child I had gotten used with people walking up asking to buy sex from me only because I’m half asian, going on parties you get molested and get some drunk guy clinging onto you. I know this is just normal things girls need to handle but it really make me uncomfortable. So I just avoided everything and back away from many people. But when I go at friends small parties where I know everyone and most are just girls I still feel nervous and insecure, I will just stand in a corner or back away from all the people being all tensed.

I have learned to handle my fears, to just close up my feelings, so I don’t feel them while being in a certain situation but at home the fear consumes me. In a dream world I would be able to not meet any people while they drink or are drunk but I need to be able to handle those situation.

Do any of you have any tips?
 
T

TheHeartHasAVoice

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I have trouble being with people and will always feel a certain fear. But my fear towards drunk people double up.

For example: I took the train today, from no where while waiting for the train to stop a drunk person swing his fist towards me and nearly hit me in the face. I back away and keep my distance trying to not escalate the situation. He tell to come up towards him and have his fist up. I didn’t provoke, didn’t even stare at him or anything but he still threw a punch towards me. It was really close of me getting hit and my friend behind me thought I had been hit, so it was a close call. I always keep my eyes up around my surroundings, even though I might look like it. Not really the first time a drunk person randomly swing a fist towards me 🙄

All the people on the train only look while my friend was hiding behind me.

As a child I had gotten used with people walking up asking to buy sex from me only because I’m half asian, going on parties you get molested and get some drunk guy clinging onto you. I know this is just normal things girls need to handle but it really make me uncomfortable. So I just avoided everything and back away from many people. But when I go at friends small parties where I know everyone and most are just girls I still feel nervous and insecure, I will just stand in a corner or back away from all the people being all tensed.

I have learned to handle my fears, to just close up my feelings, so I don’t feel them while being in a certain situation but at home the fear consumes me. In a dream world I would be able to not meet any people while they drink or are drunk but I need to be able to handle those situation.

Do any of you have any tips?
Hi,

I can guarantee the fear you are feeling is normal and healthy. It is a healthy awareness. Drunk people are unpredictable. Keep far away from them. Best of all you always have the choice of not going into environments where drunkenness is possible (parties, clubs etc).

The benefit of public environments is there are many people with you. I would suggest though in public to try and not attract attention (I'll leave that to your imagination to understand what I mean).

I deal with drunk people at times because of the nature of my job, its annoying.
 
B

bpd2020

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Being a female does not mean you have to put up with being molested at parties. I am sad you think that. I am also scared of drunk people. I have always avoided going to any place were people may be drinking alcohol. Maybe you can go to different places like coffee shops and cafes were people will not be drinking.
 
Passionflower

Passionflower

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I am scared of anybody who is drunk or near drunk. Their unpredictability scares me. Even my friend who I care for deeply scares me when even half drunk.
 
Talina

Talina

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Being a female does not mean you have to put up with being molested at parties. I am sad you think that. I am also scared of drunk people. I have always avoided going to any place were people may be drinking alcohol. Maybe you can go to different places like coffee shops and cafes were people will not be drinking.
Myself have avoided it, only time I’m near people drinking is when my friends throw a small dinner that have drinking games and such. But everyone knows that I won’t drink anything and will often pull away a bit.

Often the situation I get to meet drunk people know are in public, middle of the day.
 
B

bpd2020

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It is good you avoid being in that situation. How awful people are drunk in the middle of the day. That is very distressing for you. I would be so scared too.
 
Talina

Talina

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Hi,

I can guarantee the fear you are feeling is normal and healthy. It is a healthy awareness. Drunk people are unpredictable. Keep far away from them. Best of all you always have the choice of not going into environments where drunkenness is possible (parties, clubs etc).

The benefit of public environments is there are many people with you. I would suggest though in public to try and not attract attention (I'll leave that to your imagination to understand what I mean).

I deal with drunk people at times because of the nature of my job, its annoying.
Myself often avoid and try not to pull any attention to me. I often just read books in public trying to block out everyone but still being sensitive to my surroundings. I keep my distance and won’t say anything. But you get tired of always being tensed and scared. I often get shoulder/neck pain because I’m so tensed.
 
Talina

Talina

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@bpd2020 It’s true I get quite stressed, I often just hole up at home or make sure I always have a friend with me when I take public transportations. Before covid-19 my mom would always take the same train I take home from university. She work in the same city where I go to university.
 
B

bpd2020

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I am so sorry these silly people are ruining going out for you. It is scary when somebody is drunk as you can never be sure what they will do and you have already had lots of bad experiences.
 
I

IsaD

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I don't like drunk people either. The first time my roommate came home drunk, I was scared of her.
 
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Bellaone

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I don’t like being around anyone who is drunk either. I would echo what others have said and stay in public places where people are more likely to not be drinking.
 
Argon

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I hate drunks too. My parents were drunks. Mom was a mean drunk. Dad was ok most of time but it was the best situation having 2 drunk parents every night.
 
Talina

Talina

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Drunks are never fun to handle, my own dad often drank alot when I was young which ended with my parents fighting. So myself felt it was my job to keep my dad from getting drunk and not cause my mom to be mad, so my little brother wouldn't get sad.

I got into weird situations as a kid, where I've gotten mistaken as a child bride for my dad and preventing my dad hooking up with hookers. That truly didn't help with my social anxiety and only made it worse.

So myself never drink until I get drunk or I'll just stick with soda and water ☺
 
OCDguy

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As others' have said these behaviours you have mentioned are totally unacceptable. Again as others' have said people under the influence are highly unpredictable. In any situation where I feel uneasy I think of distance as thinking distance. The more you have of it the better... Always stay alert to your surrounding though, and create further distance if need be. As others' have said there is also safety in numbers. Hope this helps :)
 
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