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I feel nothing, and then too much.

I_Wish

I_Wish

New member
Joined
May 2, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Montana
I've been laying in bed for almost 3 hours now, staring at the cieling. I don't know why I do this, why I just lay there doing nothing, thinking nothing, and feeling nothing. I have things to do, I'm a busy person and I'm still in school, but I can't bring myself to do anything, I don't want to pack, don't want to hang out with my long term boyfriend, I don't want to think or do things. I just want to be left alone. Sometimes it's because things are too overwhelming for me, but it also just happens out of the blue. I lose feeling in myself. One second I'm joking around having fun, the next I feel numb, I suddenly stop caring or wanting to interact. Not because I dislike what I'm doing or who I'm with, it's just like someone's pulled a switch on my emotions and drained them out of me completely. It happens with my boyfriend alot. We can be hanging out and cuddling or he's hugging me and suddenly i just have to push him away because its so overwhelming. Sometimes when this happens, I start thinking things I don't normally think, horrible things, "why am I staying?" "I don"t think I actually care about him." "End it." Then there are times when it's really just nothing, where I just, can't connect to anything or anyone I talk to, I try, but my mind feels so empty. This happens when I'm alone, with friends, family, doesn't matter who. I don't know how else to explain it, and I cant deal with this constant flip flop between too aggravated, and then suddenly nothing at all. I've tried talking to my counselor, but I'm scared to ask for a diagnosis for what I could have. I have a lot of other symptoms of a few disorders, but self-diagnosing is tricky and I don't even know how to categorize half of what I feel. Do other people feel like this? What do I call it? And how do you deal with it? ( also if anyone can answer on how I ask my counselor about getting tested for possible mental illnesses that would be great, I don't know how to even start that process and I want to be taken seriously).
 
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PsychoPrince

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 22, 2019
Messages
128
Location
Indy
What is it that scares you about receiving a diagnosis?
 
I_Wish

I_Wish

New member
Joined
May 2, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Montana
What is it that scares you about receiving a diagnosis?
One, my parents reaction, my mom questions it a lot when I express how I feel, and i guess I'd feel like a let-down. Then I guess part of me is scared that it turns out to be nothing or made up and its all in my head. Its irrational and stupid, but I feel like if I ask them, then it'll turn into, "it's something everyone deals with, why can't you?" I guess too, I've never felt comfortable asking, I don't even know where to begin.
 
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PsychoPrince

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 22, 2019
Messages
128
Location
Indy
Those are profoundly untrue things your mom is saying. If you are down and out to the point of being unhealthy, you have a a condition to be taken seriously. Those things you describe your mom saying are full of ignorance and apathy. A diagnosis might actually put that to a stop if you allow a therapist to put a label to the problem.

Beginning is simple, find a therapist in your area. All you do is go in and talk. Talk as much as you want, as little as you want, you are in control. A therapists office is also likely to have a psychiatrist in office, they will be able to prescribe you a med. If they don't have one they can certainly refer you to one, that is even if they feel you need meds.

I deal with parents who aren't understanding either, it can be very infuriating. Know that you are not alone in dealing with that.
 
I_Wish

I_Wish

New member
Joined
May 2, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Montana
Thank you, that helps a lot! I'm glad I came here.:)
 
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