I feel lost

K

KanuS

New member
Joined
Aug 13, 2018
Messages
2
Location
India
Hi,

New member. I have anxiety (on a small level considering what I have read it can do) but I do struggle. I live in a conservative society where it is important to go with the flow. I have always struggled to adjust and the pressure has increased with each passing year. I am 28, single (or unmarried as they say), still live with my family and I want to be someone I can be proud of. Almost everyone struggles to understand why I am like that, including my family. Since arranged marriage is still a thing here, they have pressured me to do it. I refused, and it blew up 2 years ago. Family stopped talking to me for months. It can be very tiring to fight people u live with. But it got better later. My struggles started after this incident. Now even the thought gives me chills. I struggle to breath sometime, and I feel I am getting emotionally detached. Sometimes I get numb, like I don't know what I am doing anymore, or if they are right. Am I ever gonna achieve something or live the life I want for myself. I feel lost. I just need to talk to someone I guess.
 
Anon_21

Anon_21

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 24, 2018
Messages
1,652
Location
US
Hi,

I live in a conservative society where it is important to go with the flow. I have always struggled to adjust and the pressure has increased with each passing year. I am 28, single (or unmarried as they say), still live with my family and I want to be someone I can be proud of. Almost everyone struggles to understand why I am like that, including my family. Since arranged marriage is still a thing here, they have pressured me to do it. I refused, and it blew up 2 years ago. Family stopped talking to me for months. It can be very tiring to fight people u live with. But it got better later. My struggles started after this incident. Now even the thought gives me chills. I struggle to breath sometime, and I feel I am getting emotionally detached. Sometimes I get numb, like I don't know what I am doing anymore, or if they are right. Am I ever gonna achieve something or live the life I want for myself. I feel lost. I just need to talk to someone I guess.
Hi, KanuS, sorry you are struggling. I come from an incredibly conservative family as well and am dealing with some similar feelings. They want to continue directing my path, while I am dangerously close to wanting to sever all ties.

When you say the thought gives you chills, what do you mean? The thought of getting married, specifically? Or of arranged marriage? Or of moving out? What?

I also wonder what you mean when you say you wonder if they are right. I hope they haven't put you down or made you feel like you can't do anything on your own. You have the right to live your own life, in the manner you choose. It may cause some tension or hard feelings, but ultimately you can be responsible for you now. You don't have to continue living with them or giving in to fear or the rules they impose on you. Decide what you want and pursue it, regardless of what anyone else says. It is hard, I know, but you have the right to gently remind them that they have done their part and it is time for you to make your own choices now. Best of luck to you, and welcome to the forum :)
 
A

AbandonD4Purpose

Member
Joined
Jul 13, 2018
Messages
9
Hey!
Family pressure can be tough. Especially when dealing with arranged marriage! The culture you live in provides traditions that your family are probably adhering to. Doesn't mean they are bad parents, they just live in the traditions. Have you tried sitting down and explaining your feelings towards arranged marriage with them? Also, what kind of life are you wanting to pursue? What do you want to achieve? Sometimes finding a friend, counselor, pastor, or mentor can be great help as we walk through life. Let me know if you want me to help with some resources.
Best,
 
K

KanuS

New member
Joined
Aug 13, 2018
Messages
2
Location
India
Thank you for replying.
I want to have a successful career, which I am pursuing at the moment. And I know they just want what is good for me. But forcing their opinion can't be at anytime. I want to live my life as I want with the person I want and I will. Just their constant nagging affects me. made me anxious
 

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