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I feel lost without my Mum

SarahD

SarahD

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My mother died three and a half years ago. I was her carer for 12 years. I miss her so much. I was very lucky to have her so long, lots of people lose their parents at a young age. I feel like I should be able to think about the positive things, the things we shared together, how lucky I was to have good parents. Instead I just feel lost. It's so bad at Christmas time, each year since she died I have had a major meltdown at Christmas. She made it such a special time.
 
TiredTina

TiredTina

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hi Sarah,

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my mum in February this year 18 months after losing my dad. I miss them terribly and am dreading Christmas, my parents always made it a special time too. Somehow we have to try and remember the good times, they lives in our hearts forever.

TT xx :hug:
 
F

fair&square75

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Hi Sarah,sorry to hear about ur mum...is there anyone you could spend Christmas with? I know that's not much but will be a little better than being on ur own. Christmas has never been the same for me since I lost my dad...sending u my love x
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Hi TT, thanks for your message.

I am so sorry to hear you lost both parents so recently. I hope you have some good people in your life who can support you.

Sarah x

Thanks to everyone for the hugs
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Hello fair&square

Thanks for your reply. Sorry about your Dad.

I suppose there are a lot of us missing parents or other people we love at this time of year.

I am trying to change my perspective so that one day I can celebrate the fact that I had wonderful family Christmases, and not think only of the loss. I may visit my cousin on Christmas Eve, she doesn't mind if I cancel at the last minute. I don't think I want to be with anyone yet on Christmas Day.

I hope you can get something good from Christmas. Thanks for your good wishes.

Sarah xx
 
M

Mastiff mom

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Though i lost a parent in childhood, I have no memories to mourn. I hope you can find some lovely people to celebrate with. To lift your spirits a bit. Best wishes to you.
 
calypso

calypso

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I lost my husband two years ago, December 23rd. My children and I decided to firmly tell our minds not to hold on to anniversaries. But this year is worse than last year, so we shall see how I feel.

It is about remembering some good things if possible. However, for me, that makes me feel tearful, but are tears that bad? I hope you can make it through Christmas OK and my thoughts are with you.
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Thanks for your good wishes Mastiff Mom. It is awful to lose a parent in childhood.

And thank you for yours Calypso. I am very sorry about your husband.

I guess we all have to find the best way forward we can. I don't think it is bad to cry. Good memories make me cry as well as the pain of loss.

I hope you both, and your families, find some good in Christmas this year.

Thanks, Sarah xx
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Must be incredibly difficult for you.
Christmas really does bring up all kinds of emotions, especially memories of those no longer here.
Am sending you hugs and am hoping that in spite of the pain, you get some enjoyment at this time of year. :hug1:
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Thank you. Wish you all the best for Christmas.
 
Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

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Oh sarahD, I know exactly how you feel, I just lost my mum in September and feel completely lost without her. I just had my birthday and it just wasn't right, there was a huge void in the day where I just knew something was missing - and it was - my mum!
I haven't anything useful to say except your not alone and sending you hugs xxx
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Oh sparkypurplepaws, I am so sorry you lost your Mum so recently. I know how devastating it is. Thinking of you - Sarah xxxx
 
Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

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Thank you sarahD,
It is devestating isn't it, I just don't think I'll ever 'get over it' has it got any easier for you in the past three years?
 
SarahD

SarahD

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I don't think you do get over it, but you have to go on so you find ways to cope. It is so recent for you that you are still at the stage where you must feel very raw about it. I find it hard to believe so much time has passed since my mum died, but time goes so fast it still feels recent. I miss her every day. My Dad died 20 years ago and I still think of him every day. I think you cope better with time and in that way it gets easier. To start with the pain is always at the forefront of your mind even when something good happens.

I hope to get to the point where I can remember my Mum without so much pain. My brother and I talk about her, sometimes about funny things that happened, and we can laugh, but at the moment it still hurts. I think with my Dad it still hurts too, but it is easier than it was. Maybe we always carry some hurt with us for those we have lost.

Do you have plans on what to do over Christmas? Will you be with family?

Sarah xx
 
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