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I feel... lost, alone, sad, angry, anxious... the list goes on...

A

alextheswede

New member
Joined
Dec 14, 2014
Messages
1
...and I don't feel I have anyone to talk to about my feelings with, which is why I've ended up here.

My Mum died on July the 17th this year and I think it's safe to say, I feel completely lost now. More lost than I've ever been.

I could go into how much I loved her and how much I miss her, but I'm not sure this is the right forum for grieving.

I needed somewhere to write down my thoughts.

My life has somehow twisted itself into my own head. It feels as if I'm losing touch with all my friends... All I do is get up in the morning, go to work, come home, sleep and repeat. I never go out anymore.. I'd rather stay inside by myself and just live inside my head.. thinking and worrying about everything.

I have lots of support around me, my Dad, Sister, Cousins, Uncles... Yet I like to keep all my emotions locked up inside. I have always been like this, which ultimately ended up with me getting put on medication for anxiety about 3 or 4 years ago. I still take medication for this each morning (1 small pink pill, Antenolol 25MG) which helps. I hardly feel anxious anymore. Only in certain situations where I think maybe, most people might get a bit anxious. So the medication has helped, however, it feels like my mind has traded the anxiety for depression since my Mum died.

I feel numb, lost and like I said earlier, I feel like I'm trapped inside my head.

I have no idea where I'm going with this... I could go on much further... what's the point?

I would never commit suicide but sometimes before I go to sleep, when I'm thinking about my Mum, I do feel comfort at the thought of dying so I can see her again.

That's it.. that's all I can get out of my head right now.

I don't really know how to end this but hopefully someone can relate to me or something.. someone from a similar situation...
 
A

Alienated

Guest
Yes I understand, all of my family has passed away one by one. And the grieving process is different for everyone. Don't think you really are losing it, It might feel that way, but it passes.

It normal to be on a rollercoaster from time to time, and other times feel numb.

Anytime you want to talk just send me a message, I am on here everyday. You can tell me about your mom, It helps.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
I'm incredibly sorry to hear about your loss. :hug1:

I am wondering if you have ever been offered or looked for counselling or talking therapies?
Obviously medication can only do so much.

It may help you to talk about some of the feelings you have. Plus, with a professional, I have found it's easier to open up.
As much as family and friends care about us, it's actually that emotional connection that makes honest communication difficult as there can be a fear of upsetting someone.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
41,297
Location
The Prancing Pony
I am sorry for your loss.
Losing my mum was also very hard for me too.
I did find solace in reading material on death. I wanted - I needed answers. Where has she gone? Did she suffer? Is there more after life? Reading about the spiritual side of life helped me a lot.
Grief takes time to resolve - it really does.
 
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