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I feel like we lost our son

L

Lab rat

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Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
1,140
Location
UK
The meds have terrible side effects, I’m glad you have a good doctor trying to keep the dose low. At his age, you don’t want heavy doses of neuroleptics, he has his whole life ahead of him
 
L

linus

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Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
1,491
Location
Eastern Europe
He had 2 stressful days, didn’t fall asleep easy and needed an extra lorazepam during the night. This night he slept 10 hours just with the evening meds. So it’s like on a carousel for all of us. We are waiting for this week’s meetings with his therapist, pmed and I want to start neurofeedback again.
 
M

Misia

New member
Joined
May 4, 2021
Messages
2
Location
England
Linus, I can tell you’re a devoted father. But as I’m in a very similar situation as you, I can’t stress enough the importance of taking care of yourself too.
I didn’t take this advice, I was so intent on doing everything to ‘save’ and help my son.
Shout from the rooftops if you have to, I found the only way was to keep on at crisis team, his cpn and council.
I’m learning now to step back. It’s important. On a plane we are told to put our oxygen mask on first before we can help/save our child. Do it. Practice. Step back.
Sending you and your family my very best wishes.
And yes, I cry when I’m alone, through sheer exhaustion and the fact I also feel I’ve ‘lost’ my beloved, beautiful and clever son to psychosis.
 
L

linus

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Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
1,491
Location
Eastern Europe
The hardest part we are facing now is the sleep quality, no improvement whatsoever, he falls asleep and then 4hours later he is awake and can’t sleep without another lorazepam pill, I think we got him “addicted” to it and I am afraid of the “tolerance” that builds up and a higher dosage might be needed. He is going to start some neurofeedback sessions next week, hopefully he will have some restful moments during the day, now he is running on high stress all day long. The therapist tell us he is not that active in his delusions, he is more concerned about his current state, but I feel that as soon as he gets a bad night sleep, the delusions take over.
Indeed I am at wits end, I am loosing sleep, I am monitoring his heart rate during the night, can’t sleep after I see some spikes. I guess I will have to start a SSRI so that I can be a parent more and not a medical assistant.
 
M

Misia

New member
Joined
May 4, 2021
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2
Location
England
I am at the stage of being a parent. But it’s hard, because we live separately, he still needs me and every crisis, he expects me to sort out.
He’s due to move into a flat (supported living) and I don’t think he’ll make it. He has to survive 48 hours more with a current mentally ill housemate who I heard screaming at him and my son reacting.
I told my son to go to his room and not react.
I’m so tired of all this.
I paid for a bed today for his new place, he said I’ll give £80 towards a £214 bed.
Then as I got home, he became hysterical and asked back the the £80!!!!
I sent it back. He said he owed money. I asked who?He said his dad and people!
I don’t believe him, he’ll probably buy cannabis as usual.
Bought him groceries today again.
I’m an idiot. I need to stop falling into this trap of rescuing.
I’m beside myself with worry and also have my own issues as was made redundant a few months ago so I’m surviving and helping him with the the remaining redundancy money I have.
 
L

linus

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
1,491
Location
Eastern Europe
He is up for 2 hours in the middle of the night :( just wrote to my wife to give him extra lorazepam (+1,5mg), he will miss the appointment with the medic, but I don’t want to go again in the blackhole of missing sleep. I have actually dreamt just half an hour ago that it is morning and he didn’t sleep :(
 

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