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I feel like shit even though i don't have real problems

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Taavi

Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Europe
Hi... sorry in advance, English isn't my first language but I'm trying my best.

I don't know why I'm even trying to reach out anymore because the reactions are always the same. I'm struggling but whenever I try to open up and tell someone why I'm struggling they tell me that it's my own fault and I'm just whining and it would be easy to change the situation and if I am not willing to do that then I have no reason to complain. It's basically "it's all your own fault anyway so shut up and stop being whiny".
And I get it because my problems aren't dramatic, compared to people who really have it bad and who are struggling. But I can't change the way I feel. It's not like I can just say "ok objectively my problems aren't that bad, so I'll stop feeling bad now".
It doesn't help that I feel completely alone and like no one cares or understands. So I just stop talking and lock myself away. I know it sounds childish and dramatic but I don't know what to do except lock myself in my room and drink until I dont feel as much anymore. I just want it to stop, to be numb.
And yesterday I thought it doesn't matter anyway, I could just take an overdose now and it wouldn't make it difference. I didn't do it and I never would and I am absolutely aware that it wouldn't have killed me anyway. It was just a dumb thought. It makes me angry that I even think shit like that. Only proves that I'm overdramatic.
But I just dont know how to stop feeling that way. If I could just stop feeling altogether, that would be lit.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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Hello and welcome to the forum. I am very sorry you are surrounded by people who are dismissing your feelings. I do not think you sound overdramatic. To me you sound like you are hurting. Have you ever thought about therapy? Therapy can help you find the root of your pain and to go about healing.
 
nutsie

nutsie

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Jul 5, 2020
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300
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Keeling
Please see doctor and get therapy
 
sab

sab

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somewhere
Your feelings are valid, your problems are real. For people from outside might be difficult to understand what you coming through, but it doesn't make your struggles less significant.

I'm not much of advice person, but try searching support, like even on forums. Maybe it won't be the same as personal meeting, but from experience I know that sharing problems may make them less overwhelming.

Best of luck for you and stay safe.
 
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SandAndStars

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Joined
Jun 15, 2020
Messages
157
Location
Here
I felt something similar long before I had it bad enough to seek help. I believe it got to a point I Could not lock it inside anymore.
Had an idea alcohol or something else Could help but it wasnt good for the long run for me.
Please try to be gentle to yourself even if others around you do not understand. The truth is if they are dealing with their hurt some other way then you, they cannot understand you.
What helped me was not the fact that I had to be strong the way someone said so, but strong enough to admit I have a weakness.
We all do.
Hope you find this forum helpful, there are people here whose stories really helped me, so look around ☺
Also writing my thoughts on paper or here helps me as well.
Take care
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

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Dec 17, 2018
Messages
566
Location
California, US
I don't believe there is any profit in comparing pain, or problems, or weighing other people's suffering with my own. I think when we do this, we dismiss rather than acknowledge our pain. It leads us to withhold compassion for ourselves.

Instead what works for me: "You're hurting @Taavi , you are worthy of empathy from me and from yourself, full stop.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling and how people in your life have dismissed it. Tell us about your struggles so that we may show you how you're not as alone as you feel?
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Jul 31, 2020
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Canada
Isn't it sad that others will dismiss your feelings, like how can they know what you are going through if they won't listen to you? I've had this happen too. It may simply be uncomfortable for them to acknowledge that you are in pain. Then it is painful for them, and they don't want to feel that.

People want things to make sense of things but human feeling does not follow logic. We try to use logic to deal with a psychological issue, we try to analyze things to make sense of things, but emotion plays by a different set of rules.

I believe there is also something called "compassion fatigue." I'm sure I've seen this in hospitals. People can run short on empathy when they're expected to be empathic all the time. It's a sort of burnout. Like someone surrounded by tragedy and misfortune needs to tune things out sometimes to cope with it all. This happened in my family. After enough trauma we just can't take more, and we have trouble hearing about it from other family members.

Don't know if this is your situation, or if this helps any at all.
 
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Taavi

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Aug 9, 2020
Messages
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Location
Europe
You're all very nice and I appreciate that but my experience is that this changes very quickly as soon as I tell details about my "problems" because then everyone notices that I don't have real problems.

I hate being so weak and pathetic. Can't even deal with the smallest things.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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You are not weak or pathetic for finding things difficult. Would you ever consider therapy?
 
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Taavi

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Messages
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Europe
You are not weak or pathetic for finding things difficult. Would you ever consider therapy?
My doctor wrote me a referral to a psychiatrist but I haven't made an appointment because I was feeling much better and thought I didn't need it. I was really feeling good for a week or so. I can't even handle someone criticising me without drinking and crying myself to sleep. I'm pathetic.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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Messages
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Location
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My doctor wrote me a referral to a psychiatrist but I haven't made an appointment because I was feeling much better and thought I didn't need it. I was really feeling good for a week or so. I can't even handle someone criticising me without drinking and crying myself to sleep. I'm pathetic.
You are not pathetic. You are in pain. You cannot help how you feel. Please make the appointment. I think it will really benefit you. I am very sensitive to any harsh words. It makes me fall apart. I promise you are not alone.
 
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Taavi

Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Europe
I don't understand what's going on with me. I was feeling great for a week and then bam complete crash. Can't even handle the smallest things.
 
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Taavi

Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2020
Messages
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Location
Europe
I don't know how one can go from feeling absolutely fine to [insert self-destructive thought]. I feel like a domino chain. Push one little thing over and the whole thing comes crashing down
 
nutsie

nutsie

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Jul 5, 2020
Messages
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Keeling
I don't know how one can go from feeling absolutely fine to [insert self-destructive thought]. I feel like a domino chain. Push one little thing over and the whole thing comes crashing down
You got Mental health problem why you join forum

Person here very nice but you no listen

Pleze go doctor get medicine and go psych and get therapy or you never get more better
 
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Taavi

Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Europe
My main problem is that my parents don't care about me and even years after realising that I still struggle with accepting it. I know there's about a billion things in this world that are worse than indifferent parents and that there's more than enough people out there who were abused or beaten by their parents. That should make it easier for me to accept that actually I'm rather lucky. But it doesn't. Only makes me feel like I'm complaining for no reason and that I'm a pathetic piece of shit who walks around complaining because mummy and daddy don't love him.
Over the last couple of months I've been feeling like I'm slowly disappearing. That's what happens when no one sees you, no one looks at you, no one cares about what you have to say. I've learnt to be quiet and pretend I don't exist. Because apparently that's exactly what people want. For me to go away and be someone else's problem.
 
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