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I feel like people are watching me

lonelyclove

lonelyclove

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 9, 2020
Messages
210
Location
south europe
right i also have that problem then sometimes i barely csnt read what im typing because i make.sure the phones facing something else very distant from myself lol
 
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DSwole

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 29, 2019
Messages
55
Location
Maryland
What you describe is more the type of “I feel” rather than “I know”, I am just trying to think about this closely and realise what is reasonable to happen and what’s not. Laws of universe are still here :)
Linus, first of all i would like to take this time to tell you how much I appreciate you. I have noticed that ever since I have joined this discussion site you have always been very helpful and caring. So....thank you. It means the world to me.As crazy as this may sound, "I know" that these are not hallucinations. When they started years ago i thought they were hallucinations due to my history of drug use.Then, when i got clean and was in a transitional house they were constantly in my head...day in and day out. They can control my thinking. They made me pic ppl in the nude in my head...little kids in the transitional house with me..my own child for God sakes.They used to use people's voices that i know and had them tell me i was going to jail for having these horrific thoughts and pictures in my mind.Over the course of this whole nightmare I had 2 yrs of pure torture from these voices constantly whom say that they and they have done horrible things to my head and my body. I have literally heard every single friend that I've ever had over the years talk to me in my head. I've had actresses and actors, police officers etc..They even made tortured me with food when i was in the hospital. They had me thinking that if i ate i was gonna get arrested. That's absolutely ridiculous. Im under complete mind control and am a targeted individual. I firmly believe this.They made me faint twice in front of my son. He was scared to death.
 
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linus

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
975
Location
Eastern Europe
Thank you for your kind words!
I can understand more and more what you are passing through, because as a carer I am passing through highs and lows with my son's illness. I have actually became paranoid (by "choice") so that I can be on some kind of high alert with what happens to my son. I come to the point where each day I misinterpret anything he says that could sound "weird" and I make stupid scenarios in my head that he is again in big trouble with his mind. This actually depletes me psychologically, it makes me feel I just want to leave the world whenever it will be possible.
You already know that I think there is an explanation for what you are passing through that is "better" connected to the reality that we all experience (rather than just one person's POV) and I won't bother you with that. However, I would say that you certainly have hope to feel better with yourself and better with your loved ones. I am confident that if you manage to reduce your anxiety you would be able to re-evaluate what is going around you and you don't have to give up on your beliefs, just have another "view" on everything.
Maybe it's obvious, but: be kind to yourself, it will only help you build a self-esteem and that will ease your mind with anything else. I read between the lines maybe, but it sounds like you feel very ashamed by some thoughts that have passed through your mind, I have to tell you that with or without any mental illness, it happens to all of us, even sick ones, but the only thing that counts is what are your actions on such thoughts. You have your moral compass and it doesn't mean you'll act on those thoughts, with time they will simply fade away.
 
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