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I feel like no one will love me because of my ED

U

Unicorn99

New member
Joined
Jan 20, 2020
Messages
1
Location
India
I’m 20. I’ve been struggling with bulimia for a couple years but recently it’s got really bad and I purge really often. Sometimes I purge even when I don’t binge. Sometimes I purge even when I have a healthy nutritious meal of a regular size. My boyfriend loses his patience with me sometimes and calls me ‘crazy’. Naturally I get really triggered because he says it with a lot of spite and disdain. Makes me feel unlovable. Not like I have self esteem to begin with, but these comments just make it worse. I feel like when someone finds out about my ED, I will stop existing as a separate entity to them and all they’ll see is my ED. But there’s so much more to me. I guess I’m just afraid that this eating disorder is a deal breaker and no one will even give me a chance, and even if they do, they’ll lose their patience with me like my current boyfriend. Are there really people out there who would be okay with dating people with problems like these?
 
Acorn

Acorn

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Messages
721
Location
England
In a word yes

When my ed was at it’s worse I had a stable loving relationship. We are still friends now we stopped the romance side of it for many reasons but my ed was not one of them and it was a mutual decision.

Your current boyfriend doesn’t sound understanding. I get that he loses his patience and perhaps doesn’t know what to say or do so maybe more information would help him?
 
Jleighm

Jleighm

Active member
Joined
Jan 1, 2020
Messages
32
Location
Canada
I've been bulimic since I was around 18 and now 28. I have never told any of my partners I have it because I am so embarrassed by it.It's a tough situation..
 
Catdad

Catdad

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2020
Messages
4
Location
USA
If i was you, i would sit down with your S.O. and explain your situation and struggles a little more in detail, and explain how his dismissive behavior hurts you. To your question, yes i believe there are people out there that would accept your disorder, and i think it's important to be with someone who does and sees you as a person rather than a disorder. At the same time, I think it's important to show your S.O. that you are making an attempt to resolve this problem, im sure it's not healthy physically and psychologically. Perhaps going to a psychologist or someone who specializes in eating disorders, would be beneficial.
 
B

bluebird563

Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2020
Messages
9
Location
USA
I’m 20. I’ve been struggling with bulimia for a couple years but recently it’s got really bad and I purge really often. Sometimes I purge even when I don’t binge. Sometimes I purge even when I have a healthy nutritious meal of a regular size. My boyfriend loses his patience with me sometimes and calls me ‘crazy’. Naturally I get really triggered because he says it with a lot of spite and disdain. Makes me feel unlovable. Not like I have self esteem to begin with, but these comments just make it worse. I feel like when someone finds out about my ED, I will stop existing as a separate entity to them and all they’ll see is my ED. But there’s so much more to me. I guess I’m just afraid that this eating disorder is a deal breaker and no one will even give me a chance, and even if they do, they’ll lose their patience with me like my current boyfriend. Are there really people out there who would be okay with dating people with problems like these?
I experienced a very similar reaction by an ex boyfriend, and understand how hurtful it is. The right partner will see beyond the ED and figure out how to best support you. I know how scary it is opening up to someone and how vulnerable it makes you and how painful it feels when it seems they are holding your ED against you when you opened up about something that is so hard to share. I'd encourage you to reconsider your relationship and trust that the right partner will be able to support and care for you no matter what!! You deserve that. Your ED does not define you. good luck and stay strong!! I know that dating with an ED is hard (mine made me very distant from my ex bf until I opened up to him) but it will absolutely no be a deal breaker to someone who is compassionate and with you for the right reasons. You've got this!!!
 
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