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I feel like my life is some sort if sick joke and I'm fed up of living it

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Sapphirepenguin9900

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All I want is a simple life but shit just keeps happening. Nothing ever goes the way I want it to, only bad things seem to happen. I don't ask for much, I don't want a lot of money or a big house. I don't even want perfect health or a lot of friends. All I want is to be happy and have no drama, is that really too much to ask for? I feel like everything has just gone to shit. No one cares about anyone anymore and I'm just here to suffer. It is like someone is playing huge joke on me, and they won't even kill me because then they can't laugh at me anymore. Sometimes I just want to scream, I don't no what I did to deserve so much pain and misery. I'm fed up of seeing people living their lives and being happy while I'm stuck, life is just so unfair.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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All I want is a simple life but shit just keeps happening. Nothing ever goes the way I want it to, only bad things seem to happen. I don't ask for much, I don't want a lot of money or a big house. I don't even want perfect health or a lot of friends. All I want is to be happy and have no drama, is that really too much to ask for? I feel like everything has just gone to shit. No one cares about anyone anymore and I'm just here to suffer. It is like someone is playing huge joke on me, and they won't even kill me because then they can't laugh at me anymore. Sometimes I just want to scream, I don't no what I did to deserve so much pain and misery. I'm fed up of seeing people living their lives and being happy while I'm stuck, life is just so unfair.
Life is unfair and it can be incredibly painful to watch others flourish while we continue to suffer. I think a lot of us here have felt this way before and may feel that way at the present moment.
What happened in particular to make you feel this way today? Would you like to talk about it? xo, j
 
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Sapphirepenguin9900

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Life is unfair and it can be incredibly painful to watch others flourish while we continue to suffer. I think a lot of us here have felt this way before and may feel that way at the present moment.
What happened in particular to make you feel this way today? Would you like to talk about it? xo, j
I had this whole weekend planned and then I woke up and we are back in lockdown where I am. I just want everything to be normal and now I cant stop thinking about everything that has gone wrong the past month. It seems like it all happens at once. Then I keep seeing people post on Facebook, that they are got engaged or are having kids. Neither thing I really want to do but those people are so happy and I hate it.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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It sounds like you have had a really tough run of it. I can see where people parading around their perfect lives would feel totally unfair and be really frustrating. Does a lot of what is going wrong seem to be linked to Covid? I think most everyone has been challenged by that but it won’t last forever. What kinds of things do you usually do when you feel this way?
 
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Sapphirepenguin9900

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it isn't really linked to covid that much but it was kinda the final straw. Where I live we have had normality for months and it felt safe but now someone has broken the rules and everyone else has to suffer. I'm fed up of people, I just want people to be decent and caring. I was abused by my alcoholic mum for years and it hangs over me so much. The only thing that ever helps anymore when I feel this way is listening to music but I don't feel like it, I'm enjoying the quiet right now.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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I can see where when you have been abused in the past you would be very sensitive to present abuses. I’m so sorry that people are being abusive to you where you live now. I often find that quiet can be quite healing especially if you are living in an environment that is stressful. Do you have supports in your life that you can talk about these kinds of things with?
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I feel similar to you, only i have accepted this is how it is, and that i cannot change anything quickly. I am making small steps towards what i would like in life, starting with my home, my daily activity and my relationships. I have gradually sorted those things out as best as i can.

I would like a house one day, not sure if it will happen.

Some people care, but you are the main person who has to care for yourself. You have to protect yourself, be your biggest fan, have sympathy for yourself, know your good points and your talents, know what makes you happy and do it, know what makes you unhappy and avoid it.

You are the most important person to you. Yes, we have to care for others but we come first.
 
Tawny

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Are they all happy, those people on facebook?

Not everyone has children who grow up to be their best mate, some do not get on. Many people get divorced. Many people marry when they are older.

Those lucky people who have it all, well they are paying tax so that i can stay alive because of benefits. They are producing the next generations. I would have loved that, but it doesn't seem to be what i was destined for. Many people cannot get pregnant, have disabled children, still born children, nobody knows what will happen.

We have to make the best of what we have, and take small steps to get what we want.
 
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Sapphirepenguin9900

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I can see where when you have been abused in the past you would be very sensitive to present abuses. I’m so sorry that people are being abusive to you where you live now. I often find that quiet can be quite healing especially if you are living in an environment that is stressful. Do you have supports in your life that you can talk about these kinds of things with?
not really got anyone to talk to, I don’t feel like anyone I know truly cares.
 
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treasurebox

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The bad things that are happening in your life are temporary. Everything is temporary and changing. When bad thinga happen, stop and reflect because life maybe teaching you somethings. Sometimes it is in bad days that you get to learn and become enlightened, encouraged and empowered by your Creator. Just ask for help.

There will be days when you will be happy and there will be moments when you will feel bad again. But there will be better days for you. Think positive.

Create happy moments because happiness is a choice. You were made to be happy.

Music helps me. Music is therapeutic. Listen to good, uplifting and encouraging music on youtube.

Also, do what you love doing or what you are good at. It will do good to you and make you happy.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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not really got anyone to talk to, I don’t feel like anyone I know truly cares.
It must be scary and lonely to be hurting and feel that no one cares. I guess @Tawny makes some good points in saying that we have to look out for ourselves and be our own best friend sometimes. Now might not be the best time to get and meet new people but it is possible to make new friends who you will feel care about you in the future. In the meantime there are many caring people here in the forums and we are happy to have you here with us. xo
 
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dewey

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people post on Facebook, that they are got engaged or are having kids. Neither thing I really want to do but those people are so happy and I hate it.
Honestly, what people post on Facebook and Instagram is often in direct conflict with what is actually happening in their lives. It's a known social phenomenon. I would stay away from any social media, a lot of people say it is the most liberating thing they did to get rid of it.

I know I often have a big smile on my face, or have posted pictures with a big smile on my face, when in reality things are not okay. Of course, a smile can indicate happiness, but this is not always the case. So don't be duped by outer appearances.

Also, when people are engaged and having kids, it is absolutely not the case that everything in their lives is perfect. I know it seems like it on the outside, but it's rarely the truth. These things in themselves do not make people happy. They can surely contribute to it, and be great blessings to people, when the time is right.

It is so easy and natural to feel like the cards are against you, when you've had a bad time in life; you're not the only one who had that upbringing, and I know how many years it takes to recover. And you're right, there are plenty of people in the world, who don't really get it, and don't care, and think of themselves. But there are also people who do care, I promise you.

If there weren't no one would reply to you here. It may seem like a small thing when you're going through so much and you feel alone, and like the cards are against you, but for now, be patient. One day you'll run into people who are real friends and truly care. That usually happens when you've recovered yourself, and have a good relationship with yourself.

I know all this is a lot to take on, but hang on in there. There's a way out from everything you're feeling.
 
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Nukelavee

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There will be days when you will be happy and there will be moments when you will feel bad again. But there will be better days for you. Think positive.

Create happy moments because happiness is a choice. You were made to be happy.
this seems so simple, but it's totally true.

Look at it like this - depression convinces us we can't be happy, it makes us forget we can feel anything but miserable. We have to teach or train ourselves to look for chances to be happy.

And we need to remember what happy feels like.

A big breakthrough for me was realizing what seemed to make others happy, wouldn't necessarily be what made me happy. and figuring that out helped explain why I felt so bad about my life. I was doing everything that other people did to be happy, and wasn't.

Part of it was depression, part of it was frustration, and part of it was that I wasn't doing the right stuff to make myself happy. I had to figure out where my happiness was, where I could find it.

It doesn't make my depression not exist, but it keeps it at a minor level, and keeps me focused on looking for things to be happy about, instead of feeling jealous of other people's happiness.
 
PurplePrinny80s

PurplePrinny80s

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Oh dear, that is a lot to unpack. Thank you for sharing with us.

One of the ways to delete drama from your life is to cut out those people that have a negative influence on it. That is rarely possible for all of them but limiting contact to what is connected to your survival (not being guilted or threatened into it) makes a difference.

People are rarely as happy as they seem. There is some part of their life they don't like, especially in the modern world where material possessions are key. Take it one step at a time though. Can you give us more information and specifics about your situation?
 
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dewey

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Oh dear, that is a lot to unpack. Thank you for sharing with us.

One of the ways to delete drama from your life is to cut out those people that have a negative influence on it. That is rarely possible for all of them but limiting contact to what is connected to your survival (not being guilted or threatened into it) makes a difference.

People are rarely as happy as they seem. There is some part of their life they don't like, especially in the modern world where material possessions are key. Take it one step at a time though. Can you give us more information and specifics about your situation?
I so agree with the cutting out people that have a negative influence on it. Ironically, this is so so hard to do because you're so attached to these people. But cutting them out as much as is possible makes a huge difference to general happiness levels. It takes a lot of strength to do it, but in the end, the result is always you are happier. It's so true that you're the average of the people your closest to.
The more you're around toxic people, the ****er you feel.

I also agree, people have a lot of issues and are rarely as happy as they seem.

And definitely agree, feeling better is such a gradual thing, nothing happens overnight and you really have to embrace the step by step thing if you're going to feel better.

P.S. Also loved that film the Sword in the Stone, watched many times haha
 
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