- Apr 22, 2020
My husband and I were having some relationship issues and I decided that having an open relationship may help spice things up. Well one of the men became everything to me. I lied to my husband and cheated on him and this new guy who we will call Dave made me think he would give me the perfect life. He was married as well and was in a rocky relationship too. We decided that we would start a new life together. I gave up my job, my house, all my possessions, one of ky dogs, my friends. Everything. Turns out Dave hadn't fully left his wife and was still going back to her to work things out and was sleeping with her still. I also caught him talking to other women. I had enough and ended it. I went back to my ex's for a few days and we spent some time together but it was tense. I went back to my new house and Dave promised he would end things with the ex and not talk to her and I would have full control over any interaction between them. Since then there has been constant lack of communication, making me feel like I'm crazy for showing any emotion, every time we fight he says he is done and is breaking up with me to the point he has packed all his stuff and left several times. He pushes me to the point of being out of control and I feel like self harming when I get like that and have lashed out at him physically too. He keeps promising he will be better after we fight and then things go back to the same. Fights over nothing, not being able to express anything with out it being told my anxiety is out of control and I will never trust him so he should just leave. I have been trying to reconcile with my ex. He wants none of it. I have begged I have asked to go to counselling I have done everything I can to get him to take me back. I feel like even though we had our issues and maybe I wasn't totally happy I wasn't feeling like self harming and like I was totally out of control. I feel like i have totally ruined my life and I feel like i can't do this anymore but I don't know how to make it better. I guess I just need some space to vent and people to talk to because I don't really have anyone. Sorry for the long winded post.