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I feel like I'm lost in life

K

Kerry95

Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Romania
Hello everyone! I've never posted on forums but now I'm really desperate and I just wanna tell my story maybe it will help somehow.
I'm 26 and lately I feel like my whole world is collapsing. Almost 1 year ago, after the lockdown ended, I decided to quit my job because I was miserable (very low payment, bad working conditions and bad employee treatment ) and I thought that I'll find another one very quickly. I started to apply to different jobs (national and international) but no response from anyone. Months were passing by and still nothing. Slowly I stopped talking with my friends, my family, I began to feel sad all the time, to feel angry and I stopped taking care of myself and I started new vices. Now the situation hasn't changed, I have really bad depression crisis. I've became a really toxic person, I cry almost every day, I'm jealous with other girls, I have really bad thought. I can't concentrate to do anything and when I look to my past photos I see that I'm not the same person anymore it's like now I'm a ugly shadow version of myself. I know it's not ok, I know that I harm myself thinking and acting like that but I just can't help myself. I really don't know how it will get better, I started to feel ashamed to go in public and I really think that I don't fit in this ugly and corrupted society
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
5,537
Location
Canada
Welcome to the forum. Do you take any medication or talk with anyone about what you are going through?
 
A

adampritchard

New member
Joined
Mar 4, 2021
Messages
4
Location
London
Hi Kerry,


I’m fairly new to the forum as well and I have struggled with depression over the past year particularly.

I’m 24 and I’m out of work and so have been using my time to read on this forum and try help the best I can. This has helped me get through my pain.

I’m also actively searching for new jobs and not getting anywhere - and negative thoughts often creep up.

I have also felt as well i have grown distant from friends and family in this time. Since I’ve never really seen the point in messaging and calling people for no reason and felt there has been no point in lockdown. Again this leading to more negative thoughts.

So I made a small list of things that have helped me and thought they might be beneficial to you also.
  1. The only stopping you is you.
  2. You are not your thoughts - just because you are thinking bad thoughts that doesn't mean you're a bad or toxic person. They are just your thoughts which aren’t you.
  3. Remembering that its never going to be easy and that the pain and suffering is part of the process of breaking through depression,
  4. Helping others gives me a new kind of satisfaction and relieves my pain, anxiety, and depression from day to day. Through helping others simultaneously relieves my stress and pain, I don’t have time to think of my own worries as I’ve got a handful of people I need to be thinking of.
  5. Sometimes when I got so down I those emotions would bring me to call a friend just the same way your emotions brought you to post on this forum. So I believe we should use those negative emotions to trigger us to do and take action.
Also to bear in mind that the lockdown is the perfect time for growth as it's the hardest time but the most rewarding.
Adam
 
J

Jono

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 27, 2020
Messages
145
Location
Cornwall
Hello everyone! I've never posted on forums but now I'm really desperate and I just wanna tell my story maybe it will help somehow.
I'm 26 and lately I feel like my whole world is collapsing. Almost 1 year ago, after the lockdown ended, I decided to quit my job because I was miserable (very low payment, bad working conditions and bad employee treatment ) and I thought that I'll find another one very quickly. I started to apply to different jobs (national and international) but no response from anyone. Months were passing by and still nothing. Slowly I stopped talking with my friends, my family, I began to feel sad all the time, to feel angry and I stopped taking care of myself and I started new vices. Now the situation hasn't changed, I have really bad depression crisis. I've became a really toxic person, I cry almost every day, I'm jealous with other girls, I have really bad thought. I can't concentrate to do anything and when I look to my past photos I see that I'm not the same person anymore it's like now I'm a ugly shadow version of myself. I know it's not ok, I know that I harm myself thinking and acting like that but I just can't help myself. I really don't know how it will get better, I started to feel ashamed to go in public and I really think that I don't fit in this ugly and corrupted society
Welcome to the forum , as a depressed person myself I can totally relate to how you’re feeling . I think your first port of call is to speak to your doctor , I didn’t believe it myself at first but talking does help . You just have to choose well the ear that you talk to . I’m always here to talk if you want to , l hope I find you well jono
 
K

Kerry95

Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Romania
Thank you everyone for all the support and good advices, I really appreciate it, I've never felt this much support like I feel right now.
 
J

Jono

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 27, 2020
Messages
145
Location
Cornwall
Well ,you know were we are if you need to talk👍😀
 
K

Kerry95

Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Romania
Hi Kerry,


I’m fairly new to the forum as well and I have struggled with depression over the past year particularly.

I’m 24 and I’m out of work and so have been using my time to read on this forum and try help the best I can. This has helped me get through my pain.

I’m also actively searching for new jobs and not getting anywhere - and negative thoughts often creep up.

I have also felt as well i have grown distant from friends and family in this time. Since I’ve never really seen the point in messaging and calling people for no reason and felt there has been no point in lockdown. Again this leading to more negative thoughts.

So I made a small list of things that have helped me and thought they might be beneficial to you also.
  1. The only stopping you is you.
  2. You are not your thoughts - just because you are thinking bad thoughts that doesn't mean you're a bad or toxic person. They are just your thoughts which aren’t you.
  3. Remembering that its never going to be easy and that the pain and suffering is part of the process of breaking through depression,
  4. Helping others gives me a new kind of satisfaction and relieves my pain, anxiety, and depression from day to day. Through helping others simultaneously relieves my stress and pain, I don’t have time to think of my own worries as I’ve got a handful of people I need to be thinking of.
  5. Sometimes when I got so down I those emotions would bring me to call a friend just the same way your emotions brought you to post on this forum. So I believe we should use those negative emotions to trigger us to do and take action.
Also to bear in mind that the lockdown is the perfect time for growth as it's the hardest time but the most rewarding.
Adam

Thank you so much for your advice. I read this 3 times already and each time it makes more sense. So far nobody talked to me as beautiful and kind as you did and it really makes me feel better that I could find people that understand my pain and not just call it "a mood".
Thank you so much!
 
A

adampritchard

New member
Joined
Mar 4, 2021
Messages
4
Location
London
Thank you so much for your advice. I read this 3 times already and each time it makes more sense. So far nobody talked to me as beautiful and kind as you did and it really makes me feel better that I could find people that understand my pain and not just call it "a mood".
Thank you so much!
That's good to hear. I really appreciate the positive feedback. Good with everything :)
 
K

Kerry95

Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Romania
Welcome to the forum. Do you take any medication or talk with anyone about what you are going through?
No, I don't take any meds and I talked with my boyfriend about it but he doesn't understand me, he thinks that I want to be that way and sometimes I feel like he is tired of me and my sadness and because I don't have a job we constantly fight and I feel more and more that I don't have any value as a woman.
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
495
Location
Philippines
Your situation is not permanent. It will pass. You will definitely get a job. Believe that. Things will get better for you. Better days are coming.

Listen to good, motivational and uplifting songs on youtube. Music helps, empowers abd encourages you.

What are you good at and love doing? Do it for it will be good to you and make you happy. Many are earning from their talents or passions. I love to write and so I write and earn from it. You can earn from your talent or interests too.
 
P

Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
2,194
Location
England. Derbyshire
Your situation is not permanent. It will pass. You will definitely get a job. Believe that. Things will get better for you. Better days are coming.

Listen to good, motivational and uplifting songs on youtube. Music helps, empowers abd encourages you.

What are you good at and love doing? Do it for it will be good to you and make you happy. Many are earning from their talents or passions. I love to write and so I write and earn from it. You can earn from your talent or interests too.
You sound a very positive and talented person if you can earn from writing.
 
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