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i feel like im in hell

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lifecangetbetter

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Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
223
Location
California
does anyone else feel this way. im not normal and i process everything negatively. ive even taken compliments as insults, thats how negative i am. im seriously tired of it. im so exhausted i keep fantasizing about killing myself. thats the definition of hell right, being tortured by demons? what if these voices are demons, always putting me down
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Jun 24, 2018
Messages
1,485
Location
New Zealand
I've totally been there, friend. I can fully relate. For weeks, months then years on end, everyday I'd literally say 'God, I'm in hell. This is my hell'. Was so awful. There was a lot of soul-searching but I felt that as long as I stuck to the idea that my sufferings were a result of the way my mind is, that I was struggling with my mental health, then if I played my cards right, things should change for the better because I couldn't see how they could get any worse so long as I was alive. In other words, trying to remain objective about it, helped me to finally climb out of that pit of hell. That's basically my message here. 🙏
 
blog15

blog15

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Jan 26, 2020
Messages
1,469
Location
chicago
Uknow what do u consider life as? Do u consider it survival? one thing is that stress and fear are consumers brother. U need to be aware that once your mind has that negativity . just do something that brings joy. Dont dwell on stress or fear.. Whatever you do...
 
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lifecangetbetter

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Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
223
Location
California
I'm devoid of joy. Nothing makes me happy except for being around people and people don't want to be around me cause I'm negative. It's an endless cycle. I feel like I'm stuck
 
sunset547544

sunset547544

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Feb 27, 2016
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1,025
Location
UK, London
I empathise totally, this is my day to day experience of life. I keep asking myself why, why, why do I feel like this. It makes no sense that I should feel so bad all the time. There are some moments when the clouds clear and I feel ok, like after going for a run, getting paid and positive social experiences. But death, ageing and other horrible thoughts are constantly on my mind.
 
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lifecangetbetter

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Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
223
Location
California
I'm exhausted of hallucinating. I mean honestly exhausted. My whole body is drained. I wish I could experience this consciousness like everyone else. Life is difficult enough without hallucinating, I'm so frustrated. I'm wIllinois to risk all these side effects of antipsychotic for some sense of relief. It's really hard to concentrate at work
 
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lifecangetbetter

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Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
223
Location
California
its nice to know im not alone. i feel like im the only one. my voices ALWAYS say "you're the only one" i mean seriously ALLL the time.
 
M

Mariyani

Member
Joined
Feb 23, 2021
Messages
17
Location
Charlotte
Maybe your body is sensitive to our environment.. next time someone says something annoying picture it from far away or the other side of the room it doesn't seem even that real!
 
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lifecangetbetter

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
223
Location
California
i'll try that out. i had an appt and was just diagnosed yesterday. picking up my seroquel today, hopefully it helps a little
 
soul searching

soul searching

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Nov 5, 2020
Messages
771
Location
Clearwater, Florida
You sound so much like how I used to be it's scary! It does feel like being in hell! I'm so sorry for you. This is the book that got me out of my delusion, helped the most: An Amazing Journey into the Psychotic Mind, Braking the Spell of the Ivory Tower by Jerry Marzinsky. The most helpful part were pages were pages 57-127. They were so similar to me that I finally believed I had schizophrenia! This book is the main reason I was able to pull out of a 25 year delusion! Hope it helps you too!
 
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