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I feel like I'm going to kill someone, I hear these voices and I can't live normally

exyz

exyz

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Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,774
The thread is over a year old if you look at the date Algorithm:)
Perhaps if you post in introductions, people here can say hello to you and welcome you to the forum.:flowers:
 
S

Schizopatheist

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2017
Messages
13
Oh my God.... hello, if anyone is still around! I completely completely forgot about this for so long. You guys were amazing, I am thankful for your kind replies. I can't believe I even managed to get my password right and all. For those wondering, I didn't kill anyone !thankfully! I ended up using my homicidal thoughts to write a short psychological novel (which of course involves murder) and it really helped me. It allowed me to put my thoughts in a physical form without harming anyone. Let me know if anyone wants to read it lol. Right now I'm still struggling. I did mention in my original post that I don't eat enough, well it developed to a pretty bad anorexia nervosa. So right now I'm mainly struggling with that but bipolar is still pretty rough too. Thankfully I found a person to love and who loves me back enough to help me with all of my struggles I have been together with this person for over 2 years now and I couldn't be happier about that. I really hope that all of you are doing good as well, let me know:) -Schizopatheist
 
P

Pairou

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Joined
Dec 3, 2018
Messages
119
Location
United States
Pretty good, thank you! I'm about to start a new job and my mental health is slowly improving.
 
S

Schizopatheist

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2017
Messages
13
Pretty good, thank you! I'm about to start a new job and my mental health is slowly improving.
Thats great! Do you have any social media or something we could connect there:)
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Apr 20, 2019
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2,868
Location
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Are you still on Lithium? Because that's probably not going to be very easy to manage with an eating disorder. Have you asked about something else so that you aren't going to be quite so vulnerable to changes in your levels?
 
S

Schizopatheist

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2017
Messages
13
Are you still on Lithium? Because that's probably not going to be very easy to manage with an eating disorder. Have you asked about something else so that you aren't going to be quite so vulnerable to changes in your levels?
Yup I'm still on lithium. I did ask, but I live in a pretty small country, therefore lithium is the best you can get for bipolar disorder (except for antipsychotics) but since I do have a job and I will go study to the UK this year I need to be as functional as possible. And what comes to my lithium levels and ED I have avoided the test for a pretty long time now until today, coz last time I had it done was like a year or more ago, I should find out the results tomorrow. The weird thing is when I starve myself I get really manic, so not only that I lose more weight but I also feel good so its very hard resist of course, but I know it's dangerous and at least for me it's more dangerous what comes to risks of suicide than depression is. But recently I've been eating a bit better, still feel a bit shitty tho
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Apr 20, 2019
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That doesn't sound too good to be honest and you'll have trouble keeping that quiet and under control when here in the UK, I would imagine. Be careful.
 
S

Schizopatheist

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2017
Messages
13
That doesn't sound too good to be honest and you'll have trouble keeping that quiet and under control when here in the UK, I would imagine. Be careful.
Exactly :( but I already had to skip one year and cancel my university application just because of my eating disorder, so I'm trying to get better, I recently gained some weight but I'm feeling I'm relapsing again:(
 
Zana

Zana

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Apr 15, 2020
Messages
156
Location
England
I ended up using my homicidal thoughts to write a short psychological novel (which of course involves murder) and it really helped me. It allowed me to put my thoughts in a physical form without harming anyone. Let me know if anyone wants to read it lol

Welcome back to the forum. Writing is such a great way to both distract yourself from your world of troubles and formulate your thoughts. The cognitive processes we use to write are the same as we use to speak, so becoming more proficient in one benefits the other: a nice bonus. Congratulations on writing your book, I'd love to read it. I'm off work at the moment so can also help you with editing if you like. Done plenty of it!

Keep trying to move forward and make wise decisions with your eating. You're aware of the issues so can take positive steps to slowly and steadily resolve or manage them. The key for us all is to never stop trying. :)
 
S

Schizopatheist

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2017
Messages
13
Welcome back to the forum. Writing is such a great way to both distract yourself from your world of troubles and formulate your thoughts. The cognitive processes we use to write are the same as we use to speak, so becoming more proficient in one benefits the other: a nice bonus. Congratulations on writing your book, I'd love to read it. I'm off work at the moment so can also help you with editing if you like. Done plenty of it!

Keep trying to move forward and make wise decisions with your eating. You're aware of the issues so can take positive steps to slowly and steadily resolve or manage them. The key for us all is to never stop trying. :)
Awe thank you!! And yes! I would love to send it to you its really short and I was 16 when I wrote it but I have to warn you that its pretty dark and pretty graphic but then again it was written from a sick mind, and it also has a plot twist :D I also gotta say that it was written in English however its not my first language so everything is pretty clear but there is mistakes for sure so I'm sorry about that:) anyways could you please give me your email to which I could send it to you? I'm so exited too see what you would think about it
 
Zana

Zana

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Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
156
Location
England
Awe thank you!! And yes! I would love to send it to you its really short and I was 16 when I wrote it but I have to warn you that its pretty dark and pretty graphic but then again it was written from a sick mind, and it also has a plot twist :D I also gotta say that it was written in English however its not my first language so everything is pretty clear but there is mistakes for sure so I'm sorry about that:) anyways could you please give me your email to which I could send it to you? I'm so exited too see what you would think about it

I'll DM you my email address. Not to worry - my mind has been to about the darkest places one can imagine - I look forward to reading it!
 
I

Itsmylife

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Joined
Jan 3, 2022
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1
Location
Scotland
Hi I’ve just read all comments and I’m currently feeling this way……. I would absolutely love a copy of your book if that’s ok? Xxx
 
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