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I Feel Like I shouldn't Get Help

ILikePancakes

ILikePancakes

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Joined
Jun 1, 2021
Messages
18
Location
US
I've been depressed, stressed out, and have had a lot of suicidal thoughts lately. I get really hard on myself when put in difficult situations and I wanted to see a therapist for help on how to change that but it seems like that's a bad decision. I go to my boyfriend and he says I need to find a way to change the way I think but he also says therapy won't help me and when I say I don't know how to change things he doesn't have an answer. Him and my mom also tell me that basically my problems are all in my head. That I gave them to myself and I just need to not have those problems. Like, it's that easy. They have an attitude like if I go to a therapist, that makes me weak. One time I was seeing a counselor and my boyfriend would ask me how it went and say "does it help? Cause it sounds like it doesn't." Now that I live with my boyfriend, I would hate to have to say "I'm going to therapy" every week and get s**t from him. I started feeling like therapy and any mental health help is embarrassing.

I truly believe getting mental health help is embarrassing and makes me weak. I feel like everyone will know if I have a therapist or take medications. I feel like I should be able to fix my problems on my own. I feel like therapists are just there to pretend like they care and collect their money and go home. I just feel conflicted between if help is a waste of time and money or if it can actually help. I don't know.

*This post is about ME. This does not make my boyfriend a bad person. If you comment on him saying he's a bad boyfriend just because of his views on therapy, I don't want to hear it.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I understand your mum and boyfriend's opinions completely, and i also don't think they are saying you are weak if you get therapy. They seem to have faith in your ability to fight through these feelings yourself. It is personal though, you are you and they are them.

You can make a decision yourself and if you want to do it for a while, tell them firmly you do and that you will give it 2 months, 3 months, whatever you decide, and review the decision.

Suicidal thoughts should not be ignored. Would you ever act on them do you think?
 
AnxiousCookieMonster

AnxiousCookieMonster

Active member
Joined
Jun 27, 2021
Messages
31
Location
UK
I personally think that unless someone has to deal with mental health issues they are unable to really understand what it feels like. I think people think you can simply stop and change things but the reality is, it just doesn't work that way. It's hard when people around you are not able to fully understand and relate to how you are feeling but it's not a reason not to reach out for support.

When you are physically ill, even if perhaps it's something that is self-induced like a stupid accient when you were messing around, no matter how embarassing you seek help because it's important to get treated and get better. Mental health is part of your wellbeing too, it's only right you get support and treatment to get better. There really isn't anything embarassing about it and it certainly doesn't make you weak. Seeking help, wanting to fight the issues is a strong position to be in.

Therapist and medication are not a miracle cure and you will need to work on your problems alongside those, so you are in fact working on it and changing things just with help.

There are a lot of places that offer online therapy these days, there are also some cbt excercises you can try on your own, that could be a start? Medication is not always the answer but can help. It might be worth just having a chat with your doctor to see what they would recommend depending on your scores and mood, you can then look at your options from there and see what you feel comfortable with.

Excercise is supposed to help too, you could always go for a walk in nature or go to the gym to get some excercise and improve your general wellbeing, might make a difference. Just make sure you take care of yourself. There are counselling services offered by organisations such as Samaritants which you can access by email too so again you wouldn't need to regularly go to theraphy as such but may help.
 
A

Anne Has A Way

Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2020
Messages
22
Location
South Africa
My community and family have very similar views to your boyfriend and family. It's unfair, but along with a dibilitating disorder, we have to deal with educating people about mental health.

For years I did not get help because I believed I could just work at it and if it did not go away, I was not trying hard enough. I also believed that I was being overdramatic, it was not serious, there are people who have it worse. Oddly enough, that really did not help my mental state :) Now, 10 years after my first major depressive episode, I finally have help and it's the best thing that I could've done for myself. I am not cured and probably never will be, but I am functional and I am incredibly grateful. I have lost so much of my life to this disorder and I wish I had gotten help earlier. I don't know why I waited until I got suicidal to start realising that this is a serious condition. Even if it's just for a little while, get some help, I can't recommend it enough.

I always giggle a bit when people say "it's all in your head". Duh, I have a mental health disorder, that's how it works.

Your people love you and I am certain they want to see you get better. When you get help to try and get better, that is you working at it. It will take a while or you might be one of the lucky ones who gets better immediately, but evetually you will feel better and they will see the change in you. My immediates went from misunderstanding completely to accepting that therapy and medication really worked for me. So don't worry about them. You are literally fighting for your life. Your desire to get help is valid.
 
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