• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

I Feel Like I shouldn't Get Help



Jun 1, 2021
I've been depressed, stressed out, and have had a lot of suicidal thoughts lately. I get really hard on myself when put in difficult situations and I wanted to see a therapist for help on how to change that but it seems like that's a bad decision. I go to my boyfriend and he says I need to find a way to change the way I think but he also says therapy won't help me and when I say I don't know how to change things he doesn't have an answer. Him and my mom also tell me that basically my problems are all in my head. That I gave them to myself and I just need to not have those problems. Like, it's that easy. They have an attitude like if I go to a therapist, that makes me weak. One time I was seeing a counselor and my boyfriend would ask me how it went and say "does it help? Cause it sounds like it doesn't." Now that I live with my boyfriend, I would hate to have to say "I'm going to therapy" every week and get s**t from him. I started feeling like therapy and any mental health help is embarrassing.

I truly believe getting mental health help is embarrassing and makes me weak. I feel like everyone will know if I have a therapist or take medications. I feel like I should be able to fix my problems on my own. I feel like therapists are just there to pretend like they care and collect their money and go home. I just feel conflicted between if help is a waste of time and money or if it can actually help. I don't know.

*This post is about ME. This does not make my boyfriend a bad person. If you comment on him saying he's a bad boyfriend just because of his views on therapy, I don't want to hear it.


Well-known member
Forum Guide
Nov 10, 2019
I understand your mum and boyfriend's opinions completely, and i also don't think they are saying you are weak if you get therapy. They seem to have faith in your ability to fight through these feelings yourself. It is personal though, you are you and they are them.

You can make a decision yourself and if you want to do it for a while, tell them firmly you do and that you will give it 2 months, 3 months, whatever you decide, and review the decision.

Suicidal thoughts should not be ignored. Would you ever act on them do you think?


Active member
Jun 27, 2021
I personally think that unless someone has to deal with mental health issues they are unable to really understand what it feels like. I think people think you can simply stop and change things but the reality is, it just doesn't work that way. It's hard when people around you are not able to fully understand and relate to how you are feeling but it's not a reason not to reach out for support.

When you are physically ill, even if perhaps it's something that is self-induced like a stupid accient when you were messing around, no matter how embarassing you seek help because it's important to get treated and get better. Mental health is part of your wellbeing too, it's only right you get support and treatment to get better. There really isn't anything embarassing about it and it certainly doesn't make you weak. Seeking help, wanting to fight the issues is a strong position to be in.

Therapist and medication are not a miracle cure and you will need to work on your problems alongside those, so you are in fact working on it and changing things just with help.

There are a lot of places that offer online therapy these days, there are also some cbt excercises you can try on your own, that could be a start? Medication is not always the answer but can help. It might be worth just having a chat with your doctor to see what they would recommend depending on your scores and mood, you can then look at your options from there and see what you feel comfortable with.

Excercise is supposed to help too, you could always go for a walk in nature or go to the gym to get some excercise and improve your general wellbeing, might make a difference. Just make sure you take care of yourself. There are counselling services offered by organisations such as Samaritants which you can access by email too so again you wouldn't need to regularly go to theraphy as such but may help.

Anne Has A Way

Jul 23, 2020
South Africa
My community and family have very similar views to your boyfriend and family. It's unfair, but along with a dibilitating disorder, we have to deal with educating people about mental health.

For years I did not get help because I believed I could just work at it and if it did not go away, I was not trying hard enough. I also believed that I was being overdramatic, it was not serious, there are people who have it worse. Oddly enough, that really did not help my mental state :) Now, 10 years after my first major depressive episode, I finally have help and it's the best thing that I could've done for myself. I am not cured and probably never will be, but I am functional and I am incredibly grateful. I have lost so much of my life to this disorder and I wish I had gotten help earlier. I don't know why I waited until I got suicidal to start realising that this is a serious condition. Even if it's just for a little while, get some help, I can't recommend it enough.

I always giggle a bit when people say "it's all in your head". Duh, I have a mental health disorder, that's how it works.

Your people love you and I am certain they want to see you get better. When you get help to try and get better, that is you working at it. It will take a while or you might be one of the lucky ones who gets better immediately, but evetually you will feel better and they will see the change in you. My immediates went from misunderstanding completely to accepting that therapy and medication really worked for me. So don't worry about them. You are literally fighting for your life. Your desire to get help is valid.
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
C Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't have been born Depression Forum 1
soulsearcher been sleeping a lot last few days and feel weak no strength or energy Depression Forum 2
bellwether Why Do I Feel Good One Min & Sh** The Next?… Depression Forum 26
J I feel like I'm doing everything wrong Depression Forum 4
Lucy87x Does any else feel like me? Depression Forum 11
T Do you feel better in the mornings? Depression Forum 23
B I have a great life, still feel like shit most days Depression Forum 12
P Feel worse than before. Depression Forum 12
P Even though I have support I still feel alone Depression Forum 20
S Anyone else feel like they are on the outside, looking in? Depression Forum 12
B I feel suicidal Depression Forum 30
JogoLagomorpha I feel so inadequate Depression Forum 8
S As we get older, aren't we supposed to feel more put together? Depression Forum 3
O I Feel Bad For The Heart Depression Forum 2
S I achieved something this morning but I don't feel good about it. Depression Forum 8
X I feel so tired all the time. I just don't want to live like this. Depression Forum 18
R I feel like I lost it. Depression Forum 31
L Feel like it’s my own fault Depression Forum 9
M Feel So Awful Depression Forum 6
sagetea 123 I feel like I am going around in circles... Depression Forum 6
K Just feel like I need to share what’s in my head right now Depression Forum 7
R i feel like a degenerate Depression Forum 3
T Do you feel the modern world discourages novelty Depression Forum 8
L I Feel Like Lashing Out... Depression Forum 10
sirhamsy Today i feel so empty Depression Forum 2
Sendmetothevoid13 Do you ever feel like you're existing and not living? Depression Forum 37
K I feel very lost in general Depression Forum 11
B Feel like ending it Depression Forum 12
Amelia2020 Feel depressed about how distant and cold my family is Depression Forum 6
I Feel very depressed Depression Forum 21
P Feel so unloved Depression Forum 6
doexdeer Do you ever feel like Depression Forum 7
K How does it feel to say it out loud for the first time? Depression Forum 20
P I feel so useless and depressed because I can't drive Depression Forum 2
T I feel so guilty because of how apathetic/empty I am. Depression Forum 2
K Feel like i'm slowly giving up Depression Forum 3
ILikePancakes I Feel Sad Depression Forum 2
Sxzopen I feel lonely and I want to disappear Depression Forum 7
C When you just feel overwhelmed by it all Depression Forum 14
S To the people on here who make me feel pathetic. Depression Forum 48
J Theres so much and I feel alone Depression Forum 8
ILikePancakes I feel so sad :( Depression Forum 3
G Does Anyone Else Feel Like This.. Depression Forum 9
A I want to be alone, just do not want to feel lonely. Depression Forum 5
N Just want to feel something Depression Forum 6
7 I feel like nothing is worth living anymore Depression Forum 14
L I feel like wanting anyone to love me would be such a burden to them Depression Forum 5
Signofthetimes Do you feel sorry for things constantly? Depression Forum 17
P I Feel Like I Don't Have Almost None Happiness Hormones Left In Me Depression Forum 12
F Anybody else just feel like they're existing? Depression Forum 12

Similar threads