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I Feel Like I Don't Have Almost None Happiness Hormones Left In Me

  • Thread starter Particle in the wind
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Particle in the wind

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Apr 13, 2021
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Turkey
Hi. For the last couple of days, maybe weeks, I'm not even sure, I feel like my insides are empty. Like I feel nothing, especially happiness, i feel like I have zero happiness hormones left in me.
I'm on antidepressants, it doesn't do shit. And there's much more to it but I just don't have the energy to tell them. Can you please give me some advice? Why I feel so numb and empty? Like a zombie... ?
 
M

Megan5

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Feb 8, 2021
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Toronto, Ontario Canada
Maybe the anti depressants are working.....its just that they take a long time to kick in. The mood is usually the last to lift. I have felt this emptiness and numbness.....but its better than suffering from this depression with the pain, that is hard. Hang in there and trust your Dr. its not your fault you feel this way, you're doing your best! Give yourself a pat on the back for asking for help! You just need time and unconditional support. Sorry you're feeling like this. I know exactly how hard it is.
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Apr 24, 2021
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Hey, @Particleinthewind. God, I'm sorry. It is a horrible feeling to feel so dark and also a bad one to feel numb, like a zombie. For me, I had to switch meds when I got like this. Maybe you're not on the right one. But like @Megan5 says, sometimes it takes time. That said, SSRIs made me self harm and go basically nuts, so you. have to be careful, if you are actually bipolar or have BPD or something, it can actually make it worse. Have you let your doctor know how bad it is? I usually was bad at letting them know, but they need to if you're at this point. A different med can make all the difference in the world.
 
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Particle in the wind

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@Megan5 @SeattleBP1
There has been months since I started to use my current medications. And my doctor already changed my meds, the ones I am using right now are the new ones. And they don't do shit. Doc is like my 6th psychiatrist or something, I'm 20 and I've tried so many different meds for the last 4-5 years. Nothing has worked. My depression is heavy and my hope is started to disappear. Only good thing is that I have a really good psychologist, but I can't meet with her or with my psychiatrist in the next couple weeks cause there is a long ass curfew in Turkey right now because of Covid-19. We have a horrible horrible, opressionist government.
I don't have BPD by the way. But I have major depression, extreme extreme anxiety and I also got diagnosed with somatization disorder but he's not sure and I'm not sure and I need to check with my neurologist for one more time. Just a long ass another subject.
Thank you both so much for answering, it's nice to know there is people trying to help me.
 
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2Much2Feel

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@Particleinthewind, I am really sorry, you are putting up a good fight. Sounds like you've done a lot, been through the wringer on meds. Sometimes it helps to share what meds you've been on, not that we're doctors or anything, but it can give people an idea and you might at least get some input on ideas for other either medications or maybe DBT therapy? Have you looked into DBT at all, even on YouTube if you aren't able to get in to your doctor? I take it your therapist is not available via zoom/online? I'm sorry if I'm getting this wrong, a bit tired. Don't give up on all meds quite yet if you can. I've been through at least 15 myself, ended up on something that isn't that common anymore but works for me (desiprimine). It's different for everyone, but I've been on so many "wrong" meds and have gotten down to 3 that keep me functioning on some level most of the time, or at least did until recently, and it's been decades on the same ones.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Hi @Particle in the wind
Are you on any meds besides an antidepressant? You may have treatment-resistant depression. I've read that some medications can cause numbness. These medications may affect how the brain processes mood and emotion. In the below article it mentions that feeling emotionally numb becomes a way of life to protect from further emotional or physical pain.

Here's the article on emotional numbness:

Emotional Numbness
 
H

Huntergreen

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Mar 10, 2021
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England
The emptiness feeling is awful and I find it worst than my usual daily episodes of happy sad and angry. I find at least once a year I get like that for a few months and then it moves on and before I know it I’m back on the rollercoaster of ups and downs.

as previously said it could be the meds or it could just be a spell.

what ever it is you need to speak to the professionals and try to stay strong. I wish you all the best
 
Z

Zoe1

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hi Partlice

how is your diet ? because I find we need a good diet
when taking medication
as it can be taxing on the system

including the major food groups is important
i.e. complex carbs, protein and vegetables in particular


:grouphug:🕯
 
2

2Much2Feel

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The emptiness feeling is awful and I find it worst than my usual daily episodes of happy sad and angry. I find at least once a year I get like that for a few months and then it moves on and before I know it I’m back on the rollercoaster of ups and downs.

as previously said it could be the meds or it could just be a spell.

what ever it is you need to speak to the professionals and try to stay strong. I wish you all the best
Yes, it makes you feel like what is the point of even being here. It can help short-term I guess, but long-term sounds like hell.
 
T

treasurebox

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Listening to motivational and uplifting songs on youtube helps me. Music is therapeutic. It can make you happy, feel strong and brave. Listen to it daily or as often as needed.
 
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Particle in the wind

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@Particleinthewind, I am really sorry, you are putting up a good fight. Sounds like you've done a lot, been through the wringer on meds. Sometimes it helps to share what meds you've been on, not that we're doctors or anything, but it can give people an idea and you might at least get some input on ideas for other either medications or maybe DBT therapy? Have you looked into DBT at all, even on YouTube if you aren't able to get in to your doctor? I take it your therapist is not available via zoom/online? I'm sorry if I'm getting this wrong, a bit tired. Don't give up on all meds quite yet if you can. I've been through at least 15 myself, ended up on something that isn't that common anymore but works for me (desiprimine). It's different for everyone, but I've been on so many "wrong" meds and have gotten down to 3 that keep me functioning on some level most of the time, or at least did until recently, and it's been decades on the same ones.
I'm currently on diazepam, venlafaxine, fluoxetine and propranolol. I'm kind of happy with the propranolol, really not sure about the other ones cause I feel like they're too light for me. In the past I used several other ones, I can't even count them. From Xanax to antipsychotics, a lot of stuff. I even ended up committing suicide on some meds. I don't know what kind of therapy DBT is but I can say I'm really happy with the current one and don't wanna change it. My pyschologist is great. Just I'm not able to go to her clinic for a couple weeks because of this goddamn curfew. And she know my depression and anxiety is ressistant due to some other problems that I don't want to share right now. She is probably available online, first times when Covid-19 was spreading she offered me online therapy but I kindly rejected it because I'm living in an apartment that has very thin walls, and I don't want any of my family members or neighbours hearing my therapy talk. I hope you're journey with meds will go well.

Hi @Particle in the wind
Are you on any meds besides an antidepressant? You may have treatment-resistant depression. I've read that some medications can cause numbness. These medications may affect how the brain processes mood and emotion. In the below article it mentions that feeling emotionally numb becomes a way of life to protect from further emotional or physical pain.

Here's the article on emotional numbness:

Emotional Numbness
Yes I'm using some other stuff too. I opened the link on the sidebar, I'm gonna read it later. Thank you.

The emptiness feeling is awful and I find it worst than my usual daily episodes of happy sad and angry. I find at least once a year I get like that for a few months and then it moves on and before I know it I’m back on the rollercoaster of ups and downs.

as previously said it could be the meds or it could just be a spell.

what ever it is you need to speak to the professionals and try to stay strong. I wish you all the best
I also get like this for quite some time in a year. And it's so hardcore sometimes. It was hardcore when I first opened the topic, a little better right now. But I change so sharply these days, I'm kinda scared. I'm hoping it's just an one only episode. I'm pretty sure seasonal change has effect on me, wheather is getting hotter in these days and I'm not a fan of hot weather and all the child noises coming from the park outside, even with the curfew. (I'm supporting the civil disobedience though, you don't know how much of a horrible government we have here, so many weird political stuff happening lately) I'm trying to stay strong, really trying hard. I also wish you the best.

hi Partlice

how is your diet ? because I find we need a good diet
when taking medication
as it can be taxing on the system

including the major food groups is important
i.e. complex carbs, protein and vegetables in particular


:grouphug:🕯
It's complicated. One day I'm dieting, other day I'm only eating instant noodles, chips, sweets and stuff. Today I started good though. Made my breakfeast with a banana and a bowl of oatmeal+yoghurt. And trying to staying hydrated. I'm generally an unbalanced person though, it might be different couple hours later or tomorrow. Lately, I'm trying really hard to break this bad habit.

Listening to motivational and uplifting songs on youtube helps me. Music is therapeutic. It can make you happy, feel strong and brave. Listen to it daily or as often as needed.
I'm a very sensitive person and for the last couple of weeks I've just realized that music can sometimes make me confused, hurt, or kind of psychotic. I love music but I think I need to take some break from it, I need some silence these days.
 
C

cathanifrind174

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May 5, 2021
Messages
140
Location
Paris, France
Hello Particle in the wind, I am so sorry for your pain. I also went through periods like this when I felt like a zombie. I tried everything and I felt I just couldn't be happy. I'm 28, i have a stable job, I'm going to get married, I have everything one needs, but I still have periods where I feel like I have no happiness inside of me, just as you describe.

Maybe what you need, as you have identified, is silence. Be kind to yourself. Just tell yourself it's a phase and it will get better because usually such periods go away. When you're in it, it sucks, trust me I know. But when you get out of it you're glad you're out of it. Medicines take 2-4 weeks to kick in and to be honest it's hard to see a direct effect right away. It's probably working and you don't know it. Try arranging a skype call with your psychologist. I was so down at one point, I just texted my psychologist. It may help and she might be able to talk to you and this might help you. And when you meet your doctors, inform them of what you went through so that they can adapt the dosage accordingly.

Stay strong, it's hard. You're fighting very bravely. Just be patient and kind with yourself. I really hope you get better.
 
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Particle in the wind

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Joined
Apr 13, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Turkey
I'm sorry for your pain as well. Congratulations with the upcoming marriage.

Silence is really what I need I guess, like you've said. I've decided to take it easy on myself for some time. About the medicines, I'm using them longer than two months, and I've been using propranolol for quite some years. I just wanted to tell that they're not that great and I'm still deep down in the pit. But I know I have the ability to climb out of this pit. It's just gonna take time.
I know I'm a fighter and I'm gonna win these wars in my head.

Thank all of you people who answered my help call, I aprecciate it. I'm a little better now and gonna try to take it easy on myself these days.
 
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