I feel like I cann't relate to anyone

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savavdpeas

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 26, 2017
Messages
95
#1
It' hasn't alsways been this way. It stated when I was diagnosed with psychoisis. y typing is off, I know. I figure I will just let my hands type whatever they are going to type. I dont like using the delete button. Or the backspace button. I'm not even sure if I'm ill. My typing is impoverished, but other then that, well...I really don't know. i Just want my illness to run its course. Then I an work on deleting the illness. If it wven is an illness. My typing is impoverished and erroneous. I need to work on my typing. I'm sure if I worke on it more, it would get better. But for now, I'm just going to let it come out whatever way it comes out.
 
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Iridescent7

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Joined
Mar 14, 2019
Messages
71
Location
Torrance, CA
#2
Make a choice. You’re interaction with schizophrenia or your actions with the keyboard. They’re not synonymous or slightly symbolic
 
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savavdpeas

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Joined
Aug 26, 2017
Messages
95
#4
I see your point. The only person who can change my life for hte better is me.
 
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savavdpeas

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Aug 26, 2017
Messages
95
#5
It's just so darn hard. I'm no so much medication it feels like I cannot choose, even though I am choosing. I went to the library today. It was so unreal. I felt threatened by certain people. My mind was in a haze. I was totally helpless and paranoid. It felt like something was going to happen to me any moment. something bad.
 
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savavdpeas

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Joined
Aug 26, 2017
Messages
95
#6
I don't want to be homeless. I feel like If i was, it would get even worse. I've done embpowering things like tonry robbins taechings, etc. I would foloow a healthy nutritious diet, for my overall health. That was years ago. I feel like I am wating to change my life. It never occurred to me that I can change my life right now. But I can. Anthony Robibins said the most important thing in one's life should be lifestyle. He said that during one of his lectures on alkalinity. He said that If I master that, everything else would become available to me. I just feel like I want to fast. I want to fast to change my life. I've done it before, and it did change my life. But it did not last that long. It lasted long enough for me to notice and then some, but not much after that. Tony Robbins is amazing. I really haave not followed his teachgings though. The onely teaching I followed, partially, was the alkaline lifestyle. Mine was a bit different. I followed a lifestyle called the "Daniel Fast". Excapet it was not a fast. For me, it was a lifestyle. NOt really though, becasue it lasted only sixteen months.
 
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savavdpeas

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Joined
Aug 26, 2017
Messages
95
#7
I ekeep to myself most of the time; mabye theat is my problem. I need to actively engage more. But I feel like I have Autism, or something. I'm not social at all. Also, when I'm driinving, I feel ike my mind is ina total haze. I really thin k I have Autism. I think I have both: Autism and Schizophrenia. They can interact and morph into each oterh, etc. Years ago, when I first came down iwth psychosis. I told a courselor that I have everything. I otld her that I have every disorder. I told her to I have a broad spectrum of emotions and ways of thinking, etc. I was then idagnosed with psychosis, the beginning stages, by a spychiatrist.
 
honeybadger

honeybadger

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Joined
Mar 6, 2019
Messages
163
Location
US West Coast
#8
Once the diagnosis is slapped on someone, expect the worse. Spychiatrist is truly as accurate as it gets. Maybe they can just counsel your benefits card sitting in the chair instead of you.
 
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savavdpeas

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Joined
Aug 26, 2017
Messages
95
#9
Iti sucks to have Autism. Because when someone has it, people target you for not reason whatsoever. They target people with Autism. I hate that. Whey to peopel target people with Autism? It's so fricking bothersome. I think Autism is worse than Schizophrenia. I think there is another component to the equation when dealing with Autism. Thre is a neuroliogical compoenent. Man, my thping sucks. I'm just casually tayping, and this is the way it comes out. Awyway, sometimes I think to myslef that I don't have Autism, just Schizophrnia and Social Anxiety Disorder. I do feel awkward a hell of a lot though. I feel socially awkward to the extreme.