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I Feel Like A Ghost

S

SicklyBloom

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Joined
Mar 20, 2020
Messages
199
Location
USA
I've recently went through a breakup with someone I thought wanted a relationship with me. Ever since then I feel like I'm spiraling back into a depression. If he claimed to have loved me, then why am I so easy to forget? My boyfriends have been my only friends so far, I have no actual friends. I feel like all I'm good for is a quick kiss and a night out and then I'm nobody in the morning so to speak. I go through friendships and relationships more than actually getting something worthwhile. I don't get how I manage to hookup with people but when I do, I always fear that they'll get tired of me. I'm an introverted person who'd you consider to be reserved, so usually when someone hands me their number, it's a rare occurrence for me. Although, when I do happen upon someone, I can't help but romanticize the crap out of them because I'm so touch starved. I've realized I have horrible abandonment issues but I push and pull between wanting someone and wanting no one.

After my abrupt breakup, I felt like it was my fault he wasn't ready for a relationship, even though he made the first move. I felt like it was my fault and I played into his hand so easily because I'm self-conscious. I feel easy and now I can see why people hate me. I have a feeling I'm just not meant to be loved, I'm just someone to toy with. I'm beautiful to people in theory but not worth it in the end. Do I seem that gullible and naïve to people? How could someone leave you hanging for weeks without you knowing it was over!?

I'm just ready to give up on relationships and friendships entirely. I guess I don't give off the "right" vibes and I should just keep to myself from now on.
 
Z

Zoe1

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Jul 8, 2019
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19,423
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Nowhere
but from what you've said
you haven't really given friendship a go
only relationships
 
P

Purpleplum

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Feb 7, 2020
Messages
2,295
Location
nowhere
You're accepting crumbs because you figure it's better than nothing.. .because you figure that's all you deserve. You're romanticizing those crumbs into something those crumbs don't have the capacity to be.

Don't accept crumbs...ever. Consider your worth. Learn that you are worth more. Learn how to love yourself.

Don't date again before learning this or you will still settle for crumbs and then blame yourself.
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
495
Location
Philippines
See your true value because you were made to love, be loved and be happy.

Think positive. Be the best version of yourself. Love yourself and treat yourself well and when you do, you will have stronger relationships.
 
S

SicklyBloom

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2020
Messages
199
Location
USA
You're accepting crumbs because you figure it's better than nothing.. .because you figure that's all you deserve. You're romanticizing those crumbs into something those crumbs don't have the capacity to be.

Don't accept crumbs...ever. Consider your worth. Learn that you are worth more. Learn how to love yourself.

Don't date again before learning this or you will still settle for crumbs and then blame yourself.
I didn't settle for crumbs, my relationships have just ended expectantly. I have been assertive in my relationships but I don't feel heard. That's why I'm upset because I don't know what I'm doing wrong. It's about being told false promises and being let down.
 
S

SicklyBloom

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2020
Messages
199
Location
USA
but from what you've said
you haven't really given friendship a go
only relationships
It's not that I haven't given friendship a go, it just so happens I've been my boyfriends in a group setting. They were friends first! I also have social anxiety, so it takes a while for me to feel secure with someone. I know it's odd but sometimes it happens that way for some.
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
533
Location
Orleans vermont.
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat, im always up for some conversation.
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
2,295
Location
nowhere
I didn't settle for crumbs, my relationships have just ended expectantly. I have been assertive in my relationships but I don't feel heard. That's why I'm upset because I don't know what I'm doing wrong. It's about being told false promises and being let down.
If you don't feel heard and you're told false promises from these guys, then you're accepting crumbs.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,225
I've recently went through a breakup with someone I thought wanted a relationship with me. Ever since then I feel like I'm spiraling back into a depression. If he claimed to have loved me, then why am I so easy to forget? My boyfriends have been my only friends so far, I have no actual friends. I feel like all I'm good for is a quick kiss and a night out and then I'm nobody in the morning so to speak. I go through friendships and relationships more than actually getting something worthwhile. I don't get how I manage to hookup with people but when I do, I always fear that they'll get tired of me. I'm an introverted person who'd you consider to be reserved, so usually when someone hands me their number, it's a rare occurrence for me. Although, when I do happen upon someone, I can't help but romanticize the crap out of them because I'm so touch starved. I've realized I have horrible abandonment issues but I push and pull between wanting someone and wanting no one.

After my abrupt breakup, I felt like it was my fault he wasn't ready for a relationship, even though he made the first move. I felt like it was my fault and I played into his hand so easily because I'm self-conscious. I feel easy and now I can see why people hate me. I have a feeling I'm just not meant to be loved, I'm just someone to toy with. I'm beautiful to people in theory but not worth it in the end. Do I seem that gullible and naïve to people? How could someone leave you hanging for weeks without you knowing it was over!?

I'm just ready to give up on relationships and friendships entirely. I guess I don't give off the "right" vibes and I should just keep to myself from now on.
I wonder if you are being too hard on yourself? Rather than this being a failing on your part, could it be something lacking on his? One person's expectation of a relationship might differ to someone else's. It's always nice when everyone is on the same page :hug:
 
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