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I feel like a bad person

  • Thread starter Jasmine Hope808
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Jasmine Hope808

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My intrusive thoughts have been going on for months now, since this February. I think of the worse things ever and I hate my mind so much. If anyone found out about my thoughts they would be so disgusted.
I also have this new weird obsession with "wiping" the air. My mind tells me that the air isn't "even", so I rub the air around me to make it even until I feel like its done. Its very weird and it makes no sense. I cant be bothered with this anymore.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I'm sorry you are feeling so low Jasmine. I think many of us could call ourselves weird if we were being unkind. It is important with mental health problems to be very kind to yourself.

Do you know the cause of these symptoms?
 
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Jasmine Hope808

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I'm sorry you are feeling so low Jasmine. I think many of us could call ourselves weird if we were being unkind. It is important with mental health problems to be very kind to yourself.

Do you know the cause of these symptoms?
Not a clue.
 
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DD040894

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My intrusive thoughts have been going on for months now, since this February. I think of the worse things ever and I hate my mind so much. If anyone found out about my thoughts they would be so disgusted.
I also have this new weird obsession with "wiping" the air. My mind tells me that the air isn't "even", so I rub the air around me to make it even until I feel like its done. Its very weird and it makes no sense. I cant be bothered with this anymore.
I have just talked to my therapeutist about me being a bad person. I know exactly how you feel. You have been probably hurt so much in your life, so these thoughts are expected. Best regards.
 
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Jasmine Hope808

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I have just talked to my therapeutist about me being a bad person. I know exactly how you feel. You have been probably hurt so much in your life, so these thoughts are expected. Best regards.
thank youu
 
BlueFox

BlueFox

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People are their own worse critic.

I know how tough it can be to love yourself but that is my best advice.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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OCD can be distressing and significantly interfere with your life, but treatment can help you keep it under control.

OCD is a health condition like any other, so there's nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about. Having OCD does not mean you're "mad" and it's not your fault you have it

It's unlikely OCD will get better without proper treatment and support.
 
Tawny

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I thought OCD was related to anxiety, but i'm not sure
 
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TwixBars

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Howdy, I thought I would reply as I know exactly what you're talking about. (OK not so sure about the wiping the air but trust me I have my share of unique compulsions as well). As for the guilt...

OCD makes what you're describing a tough situation. It pushes intrusive thoughts on you and then makes you feel guilty about them. And its also hard to talk to with people who haven't gone through it because the common response of "everyone has thoughts like that" doesn't always apply -- OCD makes you obsess over these things in a way that many do not. Does that mean you're a bad person. No, nope, not at all. It's actually super common with OCD and when you have these thoughts and feel guilty you don't need to worry do they disgust you enough etc., you don't need to rationalize them. You just have to accept that you had the thought, realize it means nothing, not feel guilty, and tell OCD to screw off. Easier said than done obviously, but it gets better, and you begin to worry less about the thoughts you have and as you beat OCD in that regard you start to beat it in another: you start having less intrusive thoughts. (but again even if you did have such thoughts forever, its just OCD trying to get at you! Just tell OCD to shut up!)

Now reassurance isn't always the best with OCD because it only helps the short term, but I am going to give you some... I know you think your thoughts are unimaginably disgusting but they really aren't. Any good OCD therapist would have seen them a hundred times. Common obsessions for people with OCD include everything from violence to rape to incest and beyond. They are upsetting thoughts to have and I am super sorry you have to put up with them but they in no way make you a disgusting person. They simply put you among the ranks of many others who suffer from OCD.

Obviously this response can only help so much and I am sure you'll continue to be stressed but I hope it's a start and I hope it makes you feel a little better. I have been in your exact position, feel free to reply with any clarifications, questions etc. I wish you all the best!
 
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