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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I feel happy about dying.



New member
Mar 25, 2021
Lately, my suicidal urges and thoughts fill me with so much glee, happiness, ecstasy? I know that depression and suicide are known as this sad, soul-crushing sensation.

But for me, the thought of killing myself makes me happy. It makes me so happy that I burst into a grin and laugh at the thought.

I’ve been battling with depression for about three years and I always used to think of death with fear and dread for what would wait for me on the other side. But now the thought of killing myself sends so much weird excitement through my body that my hands shake.

I’ve also been self harming.

And I can’t even say I want to stop because I don’t want to die. Because I do, so badly. But I know the people around me don’t want me to die. So that’s why I want help.

So, please tell me what I should do. Or what you thing this might be? So I could help myself.


Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
May 6, 2017
It may help to have a look at these two pages on the forum: Suicidal Crisis and Mental Health Forum - Getting Help about what to do if you're feeling suicidal, or if you need emergency help. I hope you can use the forum for support during this difficult time.

If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.

Crisis Text Line powered by Kids Help Phone (crisistextline.ca) is a free, confidential 24/7 national crisis-intervention text-message service.
  • Crisis Text Line can be reached by texting HOME (English) or PARLER (French) to 686868

  • The Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention (https://suicideprevention.ca) maintains a Canada-wide list of phone numbers and websites related to suicide prevention.
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

Well-known member
Apr 10, 2020
My house
I’m sorry you were going through this.

My feelings and experience with death are little due to the fact that I am overly paranoid just even thinking about it. I hope you have contacted your general practitioner about this and hopes that you can solve some of your issues before you have another panic attack about death... sounds to me like a form of panic anxiety

I wish I could be of more help.


Well-known member
Dec 23, 2020
California, USA
When I tired to kill myself at 16 I wasn't sad. Quite the opposite, full of energy and manic as hell. It was school election week and I was running for class president.

I took an overdose and went to school like whatever. Somehow I made it through the day then went to sleep once I was home. Didn't wake up till the next morning.

For 3 weeks I went without meds because I wasn't going to tell on myself.

I think about killing myself everyday. Maybe for the excitement because life is so mundane or it's just my mind. I self harm because I enjoy the feeling.

Welcome to the forums.
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