I feel crazy

[jax]

I have ultra-radian cycling - which basically means that I cycle extremely quickly within a short period of time. I can cycle as many as 5 or more times in one day. It does make me feel like I have lost the plot at times. I mostly swing within the high moods and mixed - but sometimes the low ones pop up. Today I have been swinging wildly. I couldn't even keep a count of how many times I have cycled from one mood to another. Many times today I have broken down into tears. Then I am happy again. I Have been like this for three years. At most, 1 month is the longest period I have been stable. Stability to me is almost like a foreign language.

My Pdoc said that my type of Bipolar is extreme and that she is afraid to adjust my medications as I am on the max of my Seroquel and and very high dose of lithium and epilim. She says she is afraid that is she takes me off one of them to try another - that I will get very ill very quickly.

I am just fed up with it all. It's grand when I am feeling high - but this cycling drives me nuts. Can anyone relate?
Jacqui

 

[schizolanza]

I haven't been diagnosed with bipolar disorder,but I can relate to you being fed up with it all and being on high doses of meds.I suffer from schizophrenia and depression.Sometimes when it seems things can't get any worse,they do.

 

[Dollit]

I identify totally as I have Ultradian Bipolar myself and have had it since I was in my mid teens. I've been relatively stable for two years except for quite a big episode last year (which was reactive). I take a combination of Lithium and Lamotrigine. Epilim didn't even touch me when I took it under clinical trials. I have Seroquel and Olanzapine for emergencies - usually 3 days of one extreme or another. When I can't sleep and it goes on for more than 3 days I take Zopiclone and I have Diazapam for those days when it just gets a bit too much.

Stability is important but sometimes we have to take big risks to get there. I'm lucky in that I have a fantastic support network and they never let me slip too far. It even extends to the girls in Boots - they all stop to chat when I go in to get my meds. R is really into motivational thinking and NLP which I tell him is bull but he uses it on me when I'm not looking and it can work! What sort of support network do you have.

 

[daffy]

my daughter recently went on a training prog for NLP sponsered by the NHS and was warned of the dangers of this, and explained to me how it can affect thought processes and even damage some people. There are a couple of famous entertainers who use this process, and its even been used in advertising

 

[Dollit]

I'm not advocating that everyone go out and use NLP without consulting anyone first just that R has been doing it a long time but he doesn't sit and drum it in to me, it's part of a discussion process.

 

[jax]

trigger

Thanks for your for the replies. Dollit, I have fantastic support from my local day hospital. My nurse and Pdoc are really, really good. My Pdoc will see me daily along as well as my nurse if I am not well. If i need to see either other them - they will always make time that day. I am very fortunate as far as that goes. My Pdoc and nurse both say that they believe that it is due to my coming to the day hospital daily when I am not well that has prevented me getting admitted. I have to admit that I agree with them both.

Actually I had major problems sleeping most of my adult life. As soon as I was put on seroquel (3 yrs ago) I rarely have a night where I don;t sleep - even when I am high. Before that - when I was in hospital last and manic - 15 minutes sleep a night if I was lucky! The first dose of Seroquel at the time let me have 8 hours of sleep that night. I love that drug for the fact that it helps me sleep. No sleeping tablets have ever helped me so I just don't use them anymore.

Thanks again. Jacqui