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I feel as if I've played my employers around and they won't give me a good reference



New member
Dec 2, 2014
I feel as if I've played my employers around and they won't give me a good reference

Hello everyone,

This is my first post to the Mental Health Forum and I would like some guidance regarding my current work situation.

I work in London but my parents live in Ipswich and I took three weeks off sick off work last month as I was severely depressed and feeling incredibly suicidal due to a break up. I've had a history of psychological problems beginning when I first had a psychotic break about two years ago due to illicit substances when I was living with my parents in Ipswich.

Things improved when I was put onto anti-psychotics and having regular counseling until I was fit for work so I found a job with my current employers in London which was the best job I've ever had and I hate having to give it up but I really do not feel as if I am fit for work at this current time. I've been with them for about 6 months and I worked really hard and they loved me. But as I said I recently took three weeks off with a sick note from the doctor and they were absolutely fine with it.

So I came back to work about two weeks ago and I seemed to be back to normal but then I was faced with having to return to a lonely bedroom in a bedsit with no living room to socialize with people and that's when everything got on top of me again and I became very depressed. So last night I went to the nearest A&E after work because I really felt that I was a danger to myself, if I had not gotten a taxi to UCL hospital I think I would have put myself in danger.

My parents were notified and they drove all the way from Suffolk to the middle of London to pick me up and take me back to Ipswich and I really feel that I should be home under the care of my parents and the Suffolk Coastal IDT Mental Health services.

So my main concern is will my employer even give me a good reference now because I've more or less left them without any notice and will have to take it off as sick as well as having 3 weeks off last month? Not only am I feeling the emotional pain and hopelessness that comes with depression but I'm now feeling incredibly guilty that I let the only job I loved down.

Please can you give me some advice on how I should handle this.
Last edited by a moderator:


Jan 15, 2013
:welcome: to the forum.

To get the question out of the way. Employers can't give bad references.

If I was you I would go to a GP and get yourself signed off if you feel that one day you might be able to go back. At least then they can keep something open for you until you make a final decision. Please try not to feel bad, I know it's hard but you need to put yourself first before anything.

Well done for getting help when you felt that bad, I really mean that :hug1:

Are you still on meds or were you tapered when you felt better?

Please, please go and see a GP asap, tell them about what has happened, get a sick note and then go from there.

Take a look around the forum and see whether there are any tips around for you.

Marliee x