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I feel anxious and a failure

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anneal

New member
Joined
Mar 26, 2009
Messages
4
Hi all,

At a party the other night I was overcome with these feelings of complete panic and anxiety.I prefer to have some sort of self help, and not counselling. Not keen on counsellors.
I hate this feeling of anxiety all the time and a feeling of complete failure. Is there anyone who can come with any suggestions to stop this happening.

anneal
 
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shabbia

Member
Joined
Mar 24, 2009
Messages
13
feeling anxious and a failure

anneal,
hi there.i went into the local cafe today (not at usual time) which is morning and its quiet. So i go in and its a new girl serving and i got all paniced because it wasnt familiar, i suddenly became(or felt) everyone was staring at me. You know how you get those movies where someone walks into the saloon and everyone goes quiet , it was like that. I smiled inside because the thought were old and familiar, i thought ive had those before but i was ok with them. Its funny but they were familiar and yet took me by surprise..
Ive had counselling before and its a pretty mixed bag, you never know who you might get.I also get really anxious beforehand wondering if i will like them, will they like me, disapprove, aprove etc. I went for some personal counselling last year, my partner had a period of ill health and i have family, mortgage and a pressured job etc. I needed someone to talk to. It was the best thing i did, better than talking to a friend or relative or those closest because it was from someone unbiased about me or my problems. That one positive experience has more than made up for the previous negative ones.
Hope you find your answers and peace of mind.....
 
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anastasia

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 26, 2009
Messages
90
anneal, i think we all get that feeling. the more people about that you dont know the harder it is.

i hope the forum offers you some support and help.
 
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anneal

New member
Joined
Mar 26, 2009
Messages
4
Hi all, it's good to have someone out there showing an interest in my life, and it certainly gives me some comfort. I expect these anxious and panicky feelings are going to last a long time, but think talking to people who arn't close to you are the best people to talk to. That's the best thing about this forum, really helpful.
Been invited to another party next weekend, just hope I feel better at it than the last one I went to when I got my first sign of a panic attack. Maybe I shall have to succumb to counselling, shall see how I get on at this party. (glutten for punishment). Thanks for all your replies
Anneal
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Welcome to the forum and good luck at the party!
 
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NuttyMomma

New member
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Messages
4
Location
Northeast US
anxious and failure

you put a lot of pressure on yourself. you don't like counsellers yet you want to be able to deal with your anxiety? what kind of treatment are you receiving? you can try alternative therapy such as acupuncture and massage to try and relax. medication can be helpful and if you don't want to talk to a professional try journalling your thoughts. visualization is good also. think about what triggers your panic attacks. the way to stop them is to face them. i know it is scary but you need to.
i haven't been able to find a good counseller either. how about a good friend or maybe a minister?
 
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steve

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 28, 2009
Messages
46
Welcome Anneal,
I have found parties quite a challange particularly when I haven't known many people.
For me it was my confidence/self asteem that would make me anxious.
Biggest confidence issue for me was not being able to dance.
I decided to try and learn to dance in a much more relaxed enviroment, the hope being that I only looked daft in front of a dance teacher and not a whole group of people if it didn't work.
I did find that after a few classes it lowered my concerns just enough to a more manageable level.
After a while I found that I quite enjoyed dancing to the point that it is now a regular pastime (I used to think, being a bloke, dance would be the last thing I would do!).
Good luck
Steve
 
A

anneal

New member
Joined
Mar 26, 2009
Messages
4
Hi all and thanks for for all your messages.

Yes I think I am a litttle hard on myself, but I want to do things my way and stay in charge. I keep looking through the internet for something that I feel may help and give me more confidence. Up to now nothing so I am still searching. This week has been really busy at work so I havn't had chance to sit and think about it. As you say try to take your mind off it. Tomorrow I am going to another party so shall try to channel all my thoughts away from myself. Shall let you know how I get on. Glad to hear Steve that some good came out of your no confidence feelings and got you to like dancing.
Oh! and Shabbia I do talk to my friend Vicky about my panicky feelings, but she can't understand it, as regards a minister I'm not religious so that's a no go area. Thanks for all advice though, hope I can recipitate sometime.
Anneal
 
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