I dunno what to do..

[GuardsmanGirl]

Ok, i will put this into this subforum and hope that is ok. i am experiencing some problems with my boyfriend at the moment. he is 22 and has been in the us army for 4 years now. he was deployed in iraq for 10 months and got home well - at least i hoped so. since he came back last year and never had any problem, i though it would be ok.

a couple of weeks ago he had a breakdown at work. his doctor told him it was ptsd. they referred him to a mental health clinic he was supposed to visit last week. i wonder if he did.


since a few weeks (already before he had this breakdown) he acts very weird. he is kinda aggressive, i feel i cannot discuss things with him because i feel i'd make him freak out. he goes crazy about nothing, actually, so if i get off aim very fast, his reaction consists of yelling and cursing. i have to say, we've been together for 2 1/2 years now but we're locally separated. he lives in the us, i live in germany and at the moment it is difficult to change that. actually, it has a lot of advantages because he works, i work, he goes to college, i go to school and university and so on . it worked fine but since a few works, it is getting worse.

i have talked to a friend of mine whose a counselor in the british army and he advised me to be strong for my boyfriend. i shall try to maintain the relationship and i am willing to but it is getting very, very hard. he hasn't asked me about my feelings for a few weeks, i feel i have to beg for him to say that he loves me. i can understand (at least get it it, of course i do not *know* how he feels) that he feels numb and that is a very hard time for him at the moment. but right now it so just getting worse. our conversation are nonsense.. he gives me the feeling he doesn't want to talk, though he never says so. i keep asking if there was something i could do for him and always denies that which makes me feel i dunno how to talk to him, what about. i feel helpless.
when i tell him something, he forgets about it. we couldn't manage to talk yesterday because i had an important meeting and his reaction was a furious text message...

shall i just ignore it? i am feeling like a scapegoat at the moment... he's making me sad.

 

[Dollit]

I would see if there is somewhere you can get help for you where you live. Can you talk to someone at college or uni - a counsellor perhaps. You're too young to be dealing with this on your own.

 

[GuardsmanGirl]

no one around would know a lot about it. since being physically separated it is very hard to get something from him now since talking doesn't really work. he just left myspace which is making me feel even more that he's "withdrawing" from me. it sucks.. i dunno what to do. i wanna be there for him and help him and so on but it is hard because i just don't have a clue how.

i was reading old letters and emails today and it made cry. i wanna have him back