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I don't want to live anymore.

F

Fairy Fountain

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I hate myself. I'm completely useless. I can't do anything right. I'm no longer going to therapy. In the end it didn't help at all. Just the same advice I've been listening to for years. "It gets better, keep moving forward, think positive, etc." I'm tired of hearing that because it doesn't help.
 
TooMuchPain

TooMuchPain

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I have been there. Its frustrating when you need a lot more than positive thinking. I hope you feel better soon.
 
A

Aurelius

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Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
635
Hello Fairy Fountain. I have seen some of your posts responding to the needs of other forum members and the positive impact they have had. So, please do not believe that you are completely useless and cannot do anything right because it is not true - even if you feel that way just now. Although you are feeling that you hate yourself, maybe it is because you are being unfair to yourself and judging yourself far too harshly.

It is not a failing not to go to therapy if you feel it does not help you. After all we still have a right to make choices. Some self-help stuff can be pretty useful at times - as we can focus on things that are especially important to us in our day to day lives (instead of focusing on our illness/diagnosis issues).
 
F

Fairy Fountain

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I have been there. Its frustrating when you need a lot more than positive thinking. I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you. I'm sorry you also go through this. What helped me was talking to my mom and hearing the advice she gave me. Whenever I speak to my parents, it helps me a lot. I think having someone to talk to is always important.

Hello Fairy Fountain. I have seen some of your posts responding to the needs of other forum members and the positive impact they have had. So, please do not believe that you are completely useless and cannot do anything right because it is not true - even if you feel that way just now. Although you are feeling that you hate yourself, maybe it is because you are being unfair to yourself and judging yourself far too harshly.

It is not a failing not to go to therapy if you feel it does not help you. After all we still have a right to make choices. Some self-help stuff can be pretty useful at times - as we can focus on things that are especially important to us in our day to day lives (instead of focusing on our illness/diagnosis issues).
Thank you so much for this comment. I am doing a little bit better today. I still feel kind of depressed because I always think I'm not good enough. But I decided to take care of myself and try to focus on living life instead. Thank you again this is very kind.

A fish cannot climb a tree - maybe you can swim instead ? :hug:
I like that way of thinking! Thank you. :hug:

Thank you everyone! :grouphug:
 
Tawny

Tawny

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It gets better
Keep moving forwards

An ex boyfriend used to hate those words too. Radiohead - Creep, he liked that song because he said it was accepting that he isn't perfect and that is ok.

We don't really need to move forwards because tick tock tick tock, time is flying no matter what we do isn't it. It is a comforting thought to me.

I'm glad you are feeling better now and that you have your mum to go to for advice.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Feb 27, 2020
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8,737
Location
Nashua NH
I hate myself. I'm completely useless. I can't do anything right. I'm no longer going to therapy. In the end it didn't help at all. Just the same advice I've been listening to for years. "It gets better, keep moving forward, think positive, etc." I'm tired of hearing that because it doesn't help.
I agree.
 
B

bebernipes

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Apr 28, 2021
Messages
128
Location
France
Look, I understand you and I know how annoying it is to keep hearing the same thing over and over again as if it will magically end your problems. As Aurelius said, it is not a failure for you to stop going to therapy. You can even look for another therapist if you feel you should, but you can also try to deal with your issues in another way. Perhaps some volunteer or charity work would be a good option. You will be busy and feel that you are being more helpful. I also think it would be interesting for you to keep a personal journal where you can keep track of what effects different activities have on you. Keep yourself busy with something meaningful to you and don't question your worth. I hope you feel better soon! X
 
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
1,459
Location
Scotland
I hate myself. I'm completely useless. I can't do anything right. I'm no longer going to therapy. In the end it didn't help at all. Just the same advice I've been listening to for years. "It gets better, keep moving forward, think positive, etc." I'm tired of hearing that because it doesn't help.
I'm so sorry you are feeling like this just now as it is an awful state to be in. My own journey to acceptance of who I am at this point in my almost 64 year old life has had many peaks and troughs. I have had loads of counselling along the way. I came to the conclusion that talking about my issues did not really help. So can one talk self out of a mental illness (which is how I see myself)? Well of course not so it always interests me how people think therapy is the answer. Times it just traumatises us all over again as we recall the life experiences and relationships which toppled us over into illness. So in my case my working life gradually taught me just to fake it till I could make it. I found myself working in a large department bound by policies and procedures. Surrounding me were individuals who presented themselves as competent workers. So I had to put that mantle on and run with it. The thing is over time I felt more positive about myself. It was like performing in that role well was leaving me feeling better on the inside. Since I had to stop working I have also gravitated into beauty treatments etc Previously I had not realized that this practical attention to the physical would make something of a difference to my inner experience. Messing around with my appearance and outfits (I at times will pick up stuff from Charity shops) boosts my morale.

So at this point in my life I choose to accept medication for my illness. I look on it that the clock keeps on ticking. I refuse to spend the remaining years in my life feeling bad. Yes I will have my difficult times but I am stable and calm - if sometimes a bit hyper ha! I think only you can gauge how you feel at the moment and if you would like to consult a Doctor. I wish you well in.finding.your way back to better times.
 
F

Fairy Fountain

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
783
Location
Nowhere
It gets better
Keep moving forwards

An ex boyfriend used to hate those words too. Radiohead - Creep, he liked that song because he said it was accepting that he isn't perfect and that is ok.

We don't really need to move forwards because tick tock tick tock, time is flying no matter what we do isn't it. It is a comforting thought to me.

I'm glad you are feeling better now and that you have your mum to go to for advice.
Thank you :hug:

I'm sorry you're also feeling this way. Sending hugs :hug:

Look, I understand you and I know how annoying it is to keep hearing the same thing over and over again as if it will magically end your problems. As Aurelius said, it is not a failure for you to stop going to therapy. You can even look for another therapist if you feel you should, but you can also try to deal with your issues in another way. Perhaps some volunteer or charity work would be a good option. You will be busy and feel that you are being more helpful. I also think it would be interesting for you to keep a personal journal where you can keep track of what effects different activities have on you. Keep yourself busy with something meaningful to you and don't question your worth. I hope you feel better soon! X
Thank you. That sounds like a good idea. I thought about doing something like that before, but never tried it out. Keeping a journal helps a little. Thank you so much :hug:

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this just now as it is an awful state to be in. My own journey to acceptance of who I am at this point in my almost 64 year old life has had many peaks and troughs. I have had loads of counselling along the way. I came to the conclusion that talking about my issues did not really help. So can one talk self out of a mental illness (which is how I see myself)? Well of course not so it always interests me how people think therapy is the answer. Times it just traumatises us all over again as we recall the life experiences and relationships which toppled us over into illness. So in my case my working life gradually taught me just to fake it till I could make it. I found myself working in a large department bound by policies and procedures. Surrounding me were individuals who presented themselves as competent workers. So I had to put that mantle on and run with it. The thing is over time I felt more positive about myself. It was like performing in that role well was leaving me feeling better on the inside. Since I had to stop working I have also gravitated into beauty treatments etc Previously I had not realized that this practical attention to the physical would make something of a difference to my inner experience. Messing around with my appearance and outfits (I at times will pick up stuff from Charity shops) boosts my morale.

So at this point in my life I choose to accept medication for my illness. I look on it that the clock keeps on ticking. I refuse to spend the remaining years in my life feeling bad. Yes I will have my difficult times but I am stable and calm - if sometimes a bit hyper ha! I think only you can gauge how you feel at the moment and if you would like to consult a Doctor. I wish you well in.finding.your way back to better times.
Thank you so much. It's hard to accept myself. I always see something wrong with my personality or appearance, but I'll try my best to accept myself. I've spent years hating myself and feeling horrible. I want to try taking care of myself now. But it's not easy. For now, I'm just trying to get my life together and move forward. Thank you again! :hug:

Thank you so much everyone! :grouphug:
 
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