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i don't want to do this anymore

October Rust

October Rust

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Mar 12, 2021
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why is everything so awful? i hate my life and i hate being alive and i feel so miserable. it's been like this for my entire life, and every day i have to deal with my brain telling me that the only solution to my suffering would be to not be alive anymore. is this all there is?
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
 
C

CabbageMama

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Every single day, October? There must have been some days that weren’t so bad? I know it all blends in to one big mess, but there must be a few days that you can pick out that were better than the others, for whatever reason. What you are feeling now is not happening as it has to be. You ARE capable of changing things, you just might need some kindness, support and tools to do so. i promise you that if you look around on this forum for ‘your’ group, but wherever you post, you will get kindness and support. Or a lummoxes like me, who might not always get it right, but will support you, (albeit a bit too honestly, and possibly a bit sloppily...🤦‍♀️) every bit of the way. X
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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If you don't mind me asking, how old are you--to provide context to your situation. I think you are overgeneralizing--a cognitive distortion-- when you say:

"why is everything so awful? i hate my life and i hate being alive and i feel so miserable. it's been like this for my entire life, and every day i have to deal with my brain telling me that the only solution to my suffering would be to not be alive anymore. is this all there is?"
 
October Rust

October Rust

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Mar 12, 2021
Messages
79
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United States
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you--to provide context to your situation. I think you are overgeneralizing--a cognitive distortion-- when you say:

"why is everything so awful? i hate my life and i hate being alive and i feel so miserable. it's been like this for my entire life, and every day i have to deal with my brain telling me that the only solution to my suffering would be to not be alive anymore. is this all there is?"
i don't really want to give my exact age, but i think i'm definitely younger than most here. the reason why i say stuff like "everything" and "entire" is because that's really how it seems to me. i have to deal with abusive and controlling family who don't understand my mental health and think i'm lying for attention, and a brain that hates me. there's a new struggle every day, and i feel trapped with no way out. i'm well aware that to an outside perspective i'm probably over exaggerating, but from my pov it's exhausting.
 
October Rust

October Rust

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i'm sorry if i've worried anyone by posting this- i'm not in immediate danger of hurting myself.

unfortunately these thoughts are just things that i struggle with a lot. you can read my last reply for a little bit of context. i'm just very trapped in my life and every day feels like the same cycle of hatefulness from my own brain and from the people around me. i appreciate the concern.
 
T

treasurebox

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Aug 14, 2018
Messages
522
Location
Philippines
What you are going through is not permanent. There will be better days for you.

Listening to motivational and uplifting songs on youtube helps me. Music is therapeutic. Listen to it daily or as often as needed.

Create happy moments because happiness is a choice and you were created to be happy.

What are you good at and what do you love to do or enjoy doing? Is it cooking, baking, gardening, doing arts and crafts? Whatever it is, do it for it will make you happy and even fulfilled.

Choose to enjoy life every day. Live one day at a time
 
Gdzoul28

Gdzoul28

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Mar 23, 2021
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Somewhere.
We hear you and are here for you. You won’t always feel like this. Xxx
 
K

karl7

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Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
936
why is everything so awful? i hate my life and i hate being alive and i feel so miserable. it's been like this for my entire life, and every day i have to deal with my brain telling me that the only solution to my suffering would be to not be alive anymore. is this all there is?
@October Rust ....im sorry youre having such a tough tiem of late.....i know how tough depression can be but you got to remember that you will get better, the depression does and will pass.....just take it as easy as possible, we here on the forum understand and care.....keep up posting for support
 
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