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i dont understand

scottsblue

scottsblue

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i can think of loads of things i`d like to do to get out the house and start to feel better again, then just one look in the mirror can leave me incapable of having a half normal life. i carnt stand looking at myself in the mirror and it just turns everything upside down, i dont reconise myself or anything.

i`ve suffered with deppression for a while and its hit me in many ways, i just want to get out the house for a bit now. i`m sick of going in rutts and it turning any plans i had in the oposite direction then i just end up staying in weeks/months on end.
 
scottsblue

scottsblue

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when i`m around people i`m blacking out and talking in tongues, then after words i`m feeling incredibly low and going over it in my head,, i dont understand what i`m doing but i know i dont really care about people around me no matter the situation.

its really takeing its toll out of me after the blackouts and i dont know if i`ve done it enough to see myself live alone forever, you dont just keep getting handed chances in life.:cry:

my doc said i might be suffering from a sicosis, but i`ve always been on deppresents.
 
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shaun3210

shaun3210

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Have you got a CPN or see any other MH staff Scott? Maybe worth having a word with them about it or your Doc?

I got stuck at home and hardly went out for over a year and it’s tough to break, I go out with my support worker once or twice a week now which I hope will help me to get out as easily as I used to be able do :)
 
schiz01

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Hi scott
I sympathize with how you feel
Id work with your doc on this ....the more help you can get the better
 
scottsblue

scottsblue

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i see a pychiatrist once in a while, she tried to get me somone from a team to come see but it was a reguler cpn. i think it was a sicossis team i dont know i forgot. thats somthing new i totally dont understand.

thanks for your replys, it doas help.
 
scottsblue

scottsblue

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i put a mirror next to my computer a few weeks ago, all i wanted before i had my breakdown is to start acting more like myself and after my break down i think it would help more if i just acted more like myself.
everytime i look in this mirror i wish i could catch cancer or a fatal illness to end my life. when i look in the mirror i know ther is absalutly nothing to live for.
 
schiz01

schiz01

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i put a mirror next to my computer a few weeks ago, all i wanted before i had my breakdown is to start acting more like myself and after my break down i think it would help more if i just acted more like myself.
everytime i look in this mirror i wish i could catch cancer or a fatal illness to end my life. when i look in the mirror i know ther is absalutly nothing to live for.
Dont believe what that mirror tells you ...mirrors lie sometimes
Theres actually a name for it i think.....like when anorexics look in the mirror and see them self as fat.
 
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