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I don't understand "bouts" or "episodes" of depression

stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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I don't understand how so many people talk about having bouts of depression that are temporary and then improve, before returning again later, like weeks or months later.

"Depressive episodes" that then resolve. I don't grasp this concept.

Once my depression started around 10 years ago, it's never gone away. It's consistent. It can get even worse some days depending on how anxious I feel or if I try a new medication that worsens it.

The ONLY time it lifts somewhat is when I've been travelling overseas. Everything's new and a novelty, I get to do anything I want, stay in nice fancy hotels, eat out at different restaurants every day and night. I am interested in doing things, engaged in what I'm doing, and I enjoy things and thus want to do things. Sometimes I have to push myself to maintain the interest and enjoyment, and also whenever I'm NOT doing what I want to do (like waiting in a long line or it's raining or I'm doing something my partner wants to do but I don't), I get VERY bored and this then turns into irritability and agitation as opposed to dullness and apathy like it does at home. Because I CAN feel enjoyment, so when I am temporarily NOT feeling it, I don't deal with that very well.

Also, on holidays my anxiety is still there. The sense of fear and dread that something bad will happen remains, but is less prominent because I'm far away and almost always distracted.

Anyway...yeah. I don't consider the above to be an episode resolving or a bout ending. I consider it to be a temporary change of circumstance that is impossible to maintain for longer than 4-8 weeks, and thus a temporary change in how the depression manifests.
 
Hello513

Hello513

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My billion dollar high tech malibu mansion
I don't understand how so many people talk about having bouts of depression that are temporary and then improve, before returning again later, like weeks or months later.

"Depressive episodes" that then resolve. I don't grasp this concept.

Once my depression started around 10 years ago, it's never gone away. It's consistent. It can get even worse some days depending on how anxious I feel or if I try a new medication that worsens it.

The ONLY time it lifts somewhat is when I've been travelling overseas. Everything's new and a novelty, I get to do anything I want, stay in nice fancy hotels, eat out at different restaurants every day and night. I am interested in doing things, engaged in what I'm doing, and I enjoy things and thus want to do things. Sometimes I have to push myself to maintain the interest and enjoyment, and also whenever I'm NOT doing what I want to do (like waiting in a long line or it's raining or I'm doing something my partner wants to do but I don't), I get VERY bored and this then turns into irritability and agitation as opposed to dullness and apathy like it does at home. Because I CAN feel enjoyment, so when I am temporarily NOT feeling it, I don't deal with that very well.

Also, on holidays my anxiety is still there. The sense of fear and dread that something bad will happen remains, but is less prominent because I'm far away and almost always distracted.

Anyway...yeah. I don't consider the above to be an episode resolving or a bout ending. I consider it to be a temporary change of circumstance that is impossible to maintain for longer than 4-8 weeks, and thus a temporary change in how the depression manifests.


In my opionion and experience while there are commonalities among mental health each case is unique

Life can often cause mental health like environmental situations such as trauma, and even weather such as seasonal affective disorder
 
Hiraeth

Hiraeth

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I assume this changes depending on what kind of mental disorder the person has. I have a few days of happiness and then depression usually hits me pretty quickly after. I always have underlying depression even when I am happy. I am not diagnosed with chronic depression but I definitely have some element of that. I have never found a way to completely eradicate it ever. I am quite jealous of people who can get rid of it for long periods of time. I only remember that when I was a kid. Does the depression come in different waves?
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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I assume this changes depending on what kind of mental disorder the person has. I have a few days of happiness and then depression usually hits me pretty quickly after. I always have underlying depression even when I am happy. I am not diagnosed with chronic depression but I definitely have some element of that. I have never found a way to completely eradicate it ever. I am quite jealous of people who can get rid of it for long periods of time. I only remember that when I was a kid. Does the depression come in different waves?

No, there are no waves of depression. It's very, very stable. Just always depressed.
 
Contramike

Contramike

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The way I see it, when I am in the same place, doing the same thing, for a long time, I consider myself "stable." That's when I can notice "bouts" of depression. You have to have consistency and/or stability in a routine to notice it. I've done the same thing every day for many years. I notice when I approach things with interest and inspiration, and I notice when I approach the same thing with frustration and apathy.

For inst.

- get up
- walk the dog
- get some work done
- take a nap
- do something fun
- go to sleep

When I'm in a "bout" (starting to hate that word) of depression, I'll get up slowly, think
- "Ughh. I really hate walking the dog."
- "I really don't want to do any of this stuff today." "I hate sleeping all the time, but it's necessary."
- "I really don't want to go to sleep, but I have to or I wont have the energy to make it through the rest of the day."
- "Phhh...Fun...whatever. I'll begrudgingly play a game or something.
- "I did nothing all day. I never accomplish anything"

Vs.

I'll get up and get a shower and breakfast.
- It's sunny today. The walk will help my mood.
- I think if I plow in to it, I could get this stuff done in about an hour.
- I'll just rest my eyes for a minute.
- I've been wanting to check out this new game.
- I'll watch an episode of Cats Does Countdown before bed. Those are always pretty funny. Then I'll drift off to a guided hypnosis on YouTube.

It's the difference in how you approach similar situations (from what I understand).
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Yeah, this makes sense. My issue is I can't make myself feel like the second examples you mentioned!
 
morpheus01

morpheus01

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Sleep, alcohol and anti depressants. That's pretty much what my depression revolves around, I need about 12 hours sleep and then 2/3 naps through the day and my antidepressants to be happy but when I am like right now I start drinking which if goes too far I'm depressed again.

But that real down in the dumps, self loathing thing when your body gets heavy and sore only happens every 2/3 days or so.

It's hard to monitor whist experiencing it but I think that's a good reflection of my mental state as far as depression goes.

If you binge drink and don't eat and sleep well I find it hits you the hardest.

You might need to reevaluate the antidepressants you're on, other than that I find getting enough sleep the most important thing.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Australia
Sleep, alcohol and anti depressants. That's pretty much what my depression revolves around, I need about 12 hours sleep and then 2/3 naps through the day and my antidepressants to be happy but when I am like right now I start drinking which if goes too far I'm depressed again.

But that real down in the dumps, self loathing thing when your body gets heavy and sore only happens every 2/3 days or so.

It's hard to monitor whist experiencing it but I think that's a good reflection of my mental state as far as depression goes.

If you binge drink and don't eat and sleep well I find it hits you the hardest.

You might need to reevaluate the antidepressants you're on, other than that I find getting enough sleep the most important thing.

Well, I've been on Zoloft, Lexapro, Effexor, Cymbalta, Moclobemide, as well as Lamictal and Ritalin, and none of them helped me. They all feel much the same. Just more apathetic and bored / dull.

I sleep a LOT. Between 8 and 12 hours a night. I never drink.
 
morpheus01

morpheus01

formerly ht46
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Well, I've been on Zoloft, Lexapro, Effexor, Cymbalta, Moclobemide, as well as Lamictal and Ritalin, and none of them helped me. They all feel much the same. Just more apathetic and bored / dull.

I sleep a LOT. Between 8 and 12 hours a night. I never drink.
Sorry to hear that.

Bupropion is working for me.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Sorry to hear that.

Bupropion is working for me.

Ah, is this Wellbutrin? I can't get this in Australia. It's only used and sold as Zyban, a quit smoking pill.
 
C

cyrano midmo

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Jun 3, 2021
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mid-missouri
I was rarely depressed when I was at work. Even though I wasn’t pressured to get my work done quickly or work long hours or weekends (although I did both on my own but not always), I was usually engaged in my work, which I was quite good at. However, I’m trying retirement for the second time because I’m concerned my age has started affecting my cognitive skills.

while I was employed but not at work, that was when the depressionwould hit. Times likeright now (11 pm where I live), I can’t escape the spiral of being unable to see any reasonably livable rest of my life.

I’ve volunteered to start helping poor people preparing their income tax returns for free, but I’m depressed that I have nothing that’s fun or satisfying (except food and I try to be satisfied eating only moderate amounts because if I got as fat as I was when I used food as a drug, I’d be even more miserable). I’ll do my best to help my “customers” but it already seems like yet another way to fill my days.
 

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