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I don't think my family understands this issue

jajingna

jajingna

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In fact I don't understand it that well despite living with it all these years. I have a strong suspicion my brother here in the same house has strong social anxiety as well. We don't hardly even say a word to each other. Not that much to say anyway.

The other brother here in the small house is more social, and even though he's a bit awkward and says weird stuff, I don't suspect he has such strong social anxiety.

Yet another brother visited from another province recently. He was mainly at the other brother's house. (Lots of brothers in this family.) I think he showed up at this house, but I didn't see him. Why would I want to? I don't enjoy talking to him. In recent years I'd just feel worse after talking with him on the phone. The phone is kind of torture for me.

He sent a weird little email I saw today, about me and my brother hiding away in our rooms, which is true. But I understand why we do this. I just don't think anyone else in the family does. Not sure why it matters. If we want to keep to ourselves, so what? People get upset though when you're not there for them socially. Lots of times people have remarked on my not saying much.

Bottom line I guess, is that even your family might not understand it. Or they don't really believe it, or something. It's like they think it's an excuse or something.

Nope, I really feel this way, around them too, maybe especially around them. It's not like siblings are always nice to each other.
 
Rex Smith

Rex Smith

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Understanding people is difficult even more for those that don't feel the same as you. Your first sentence of your post, "you don't even understand it that well", is a great example. It creates frustration for everyone.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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True enough there Rex. We all have our own peculiar ways. And this is basically who I am. Do I need to apologize for that, or explain it to anyone? Not really. I guess others feel let down once in a while but is that really my problem? I don't think so.
 
Murasakibee

Murasakibee

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I have issues with several family members, and I also have a lot of anxiety when writing messages and phone calls.
I think the reason they get upset is because life is pretty short and they probably want to be apart of mine. However, when I write or call, or go and greet them it seems I make them angry. I have selective mutism and it makes it hard to communicate but especially when it seems I have irritated someone, I go and retreat which makes them angrier.
So now days, I just hide away when certain members of the family come over.

I'm not sure it's exactly like that but I do know that my family doesn't understand it, and they think I'm such a bitch...however whenever I express any sort of negative emotion they think that as well which really irritates me since none of them are happy go lucky.

So I know people want to get to know me, but not really the real me, some sort of me they envisioned and I've started having the attitude of that's their problem, not mine. If they really wanted to know me, they would try to understand and I've tried to teach me but they don't understand. That's their problem.
 
Murasakibee

Murasakibee

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I don't know if that's really how you feel towards them, it seems that is sort of how you were describing it. But it is how I feel towards mine.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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I just hide away when certain members of the family come over.
Yeah. I know what you mean there. They may be upset about this. And I can't really say the truth either, that is "I really prefer to not talk to you." Too many times I ended up feeling worse after talking to a brother. And things they say can bother me for a long time. Gee, why wouldn't I want more of that?
 
Murasakibee

Murasakibee

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Yeah. I know what you mean there. They may be upset about this. And I can't really say the truth either, that is "I really prefer to not talk to you." Too many times I ended up feeling worse after talking to a brother. And things they say can bother me for a long time. Gee, why wouldn't I want more of that?
I wish people would just understand that a person's mental health is a huge priority.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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I wish people would just understand that a person's mental health is a huge priority.
It sure is, but people including family can be totally oblivious to anybody but themselves, and of course most people's favorite subject is themselves.
 
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