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i dont really know whats wrong with me

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d06

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2008
Messages
2
Location
Northern Ireland
I posted another thread here a while ago. But looking back at it i feel that i didn't explain things properly and i want to try again.
Basically, most nights i just feel like i want to cry. I'm sitting right now in front of my laptop trying to do a moving image homework for hours and ive written a paragraph. I don't have the energy nor the motivation do to anything sometimes. At school i have no proper friends, just people i'd walk to the shop with. I feel like i can trust no one. Although i look foward to school because its the only social contact i get between people. I don't mind school work but sometimes i just lie across the table because i'm always so tired. I walk down the corridors and it feels as if im about to faint.
I always feel like people just use me. I can't talk to anyone about anything because i can't trust anyone. People usually just want a favour or something. At school i try to put on a happy face, but i'm really quite unhappy. Some things i still laugh at but a lot of things i dont find funny at all anymore. This year has been full of disappointments and everything I do i find one little niggle that makes me regret the whole thing. Im a young leader at my schools youth club and im not a very good one, i dont speak at all and i dont have any leadership over the kids there, which i need to have. I used to get teased in school by the boys about my sexuality which is something im not even sure of right now.

I just want to vent my feelings on here because there is no one in real life i can talk to. I don't like talking with my family...

Sorry its such a long post again! :(
 
H

hey_hey

New member
Joined
Oct 21, 2008
Messages
3
hey man, I feel your pain. read my thread its right above your's "can I be a good person again?" You sound young to me...and I believe me I had a weird childhood, so don't feel bad about whatever you're going through. I just wanted to comment on the sexuality thing. I went through a crisis about this too when I was 14. In hind sight, what I can tell you is don't make any rash descisions. If you're still young give it time, it'll work itself out. Just try not to do anything you'll regret later in life. Believe me it won't bother you for some years, but than wham! loads of regret. About not connecting with people: everybody in side feels similar to you, we all struggle, and feel isolated and painful sometimes. I know it's hard for you to trust people, but just don't put yourself entirley out there right away. Work in baby steps towards gaining friends. Im not gonna lie, some people out there will screw you, but if 1 in 100 people you really connect with, than the otehr 99 failures were worth it!

best of luck,
 
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