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I don't like my own birthday. What about you?

P

pandamom38

Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Northern California
Hi, am I the only one who doesn't like my own birthday?

In the past, negative things such as big exams, my period, lots of stress always accumulated on my birthday. Therefore, I have big anxiety before my birthday even now as a stay-at-home mom that I'm supposed to clean out the house, get something done, earn an advanced degree before I hit a certain age. Every birthday experience in the past few years was basically a crisis. My birthday just reminds me I'm always in a losing race against time.

How do you deal with dates such as birthdays that bring you down every year? How do you deal with moments that make you feel like you've failed everything?
 
sam999

sam999

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 11, 2020
Messages
138
Location
Canada
same i just try to pretend im having fun so the People who celebrate me arent disapointed
 
T

Tam

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 12, 2020
Messages
153
Location
UK
I hate the attention ones birthday causes
 
L

LadyDomino

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2019
Messages
526
Location
Dorset
I like to forget my birthday, but family & friends want to mark the occasion. I'm dreading my 50th as they'll want to make a big fuss
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
5,459
Location
Canada
My birthday hasn't meant much to me in a long time. After 30 I felt like that was enough of those. Now I've been 30 for a really long time.
 
kimidare

kimidare

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 2, 2021
Messages
214
Location
France
I become very anxious when my birthday is approaching.

Like you it s due to negative events for previous birthday, it s triggering for me.

[trigger warning]
It s mostly the memory of my 17th birthday, when my ex boyfriend/rapist told me to harm myself, giving me what to use. I hear his voice in my head, I hate that.

This year I have a boardgame party organized with 2 colleagues/friends. (Not organized especially for the birthday, it was just a available date)
I hope I will not think about it this year, when playing.

Remember that we are not defined by only negative events of our lifes. You are much more than that. Try to find your successes too. You can t possibly have fail everything.
 
veela

veela

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2021
Messages
84
Location
Austria
I had birthday few days ago and i met with all the relatives.
It was a fiasco. I sat there and was quiet over the whole time.
Almost cried. And people always asked me why i am so quiet.
I do not like the attention. And i was happy when it was over.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,430
Location
Nashua NH
I always enjoy my birthday but my family always puts a lot of effort into making it special and I don’t put much pressure on myself to reach milestone achievements by any certain time so that probably takes the pressure off some. xo, j
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
1,225
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
Hi, am I the only one who doesn't like my own birthday?

In the past, negative things such as big exams, my period, lots of stress always accumulated on my birthday. Therefore, I have big anxiety before my birthday even now as a stay-at-home mom that I'm supposed to clean out the house, get something done, earn an advanced degree before I hit a certain age. Every birthday experience in the past few years was basically a crisis. My birthday just reminds me I'm always in a losing race against time.

How do you deal with dates such as birthdays that bring you down every year? How do you deal with moments that make you feel like you've failed everything?
My birthday just reminds me I'm always in a losing race against time.

Well said.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
1,225
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
I don't like holidays or my birthday. I can't wait until they're over, and I'm back to another "normal" (depressing) day.
 
M

Mistral

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2011
Messages
627
I do not like my birthday. It was never celebrated when I was young because it fell on the same date as the anniversary of my grandfather's death. But even if it was celebrated when I was young, I do not think it would change my views I have on the matter today.

I think it might be to do with the fact that my birthday comes just before exam time. Exams. were a big thing with my parents and I used to get physically sick with the stress of them, especially from the age of 11 onwards.

In some offices I worked in, they would buy birthday cake and share it with everybody and then they would expect everybody else in the office to do it on their birthday. I found that just annoying.

I also think that birthday parties organised by the person who is having the birthday are bit weird and I regard people who inform others of when it is their birthday as really annoying unless they are very very close friends or relatives.
 
C

CabbageMama

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2021
Messages
668
Location
UK
same i just try to pretend im having fun so the People who celebrate me arent disapointed
This is what I do, because I have a 12 and a 13 year old. I have always hated my birthday, feels like I have to make the people around me feel good, when actually, I would rather just not have it. My Mum always says it is the day she brought me in to the world, so has to be celebrated... Weirdly, I love making a fuss of other people on their Birthdays, just would rather they didn’t do it back!
 
inicornus

inicornus

Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2021
Messages
7
Location
Europe
I normally associate my birthday with my mother, who recently passed away, since she was always planning birthday parties or surprises for me, or with my girlfriend, since I found out she self-harmed on my birthday. On top of that, I always have a math assessment on my birthday, which always stresses me out. My friends wanted to plan something small this year, but I really didn't want to do anything. I tried to explain to them that I didn't really like my birthday, and (with trouble) they kind of understood. I feel like my best coping method is crying, as sad as it sounds. I feel like crying just makes everything feel much better.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
1,225
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
I would like to celebrate my birthday, but I don't have anybody who lives where I live. I was divorced and have two adult children, but they don't speak to me. So I really can't wait until my birthday passes. It's just another day to me now.
 
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