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I don't know...

Mummyoftwo

Mummyoftwo

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Blackburn
I don't know anymore. I'm a single mum and the father of my son has not had him for three weekends now. I feel like he's putting anyone else before his son and I can't cope. My mental health is taking it toll on me I even cried when he said he couldn't have our son until tomorrow. Has anyone else been here like me
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I've seen the strength and confidence a boy has when his dad takes him every weekend from two until adult. An impressive and amazing young man now in the RAF.

I wish so much for that for your son. Do you think his dad is avoiding you because you had sex and he worried you will fall in love? He sounds like a jerk. Obama talked of deadbeat dads.

3 weeks is too long. Every other weekend is acceptable minimum I think. All weekend better. Keep the relationship with you platonic, calm, no sex, and simple for your son.
 
Mummyoftwo

Mummyoftwo

Active member
Joined
Dec 6, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Blackburn
I've seen the strength and confidence a boy has when his dad takes him every weekend from two until adult. An impressive and amazing young man now in the RAF.

I wish so much for that for your son. Do you think his dad is avoiding you because you had sex and he worried you will fall in love? He sounds like a jerk. Obama talked of deadbeat dads.

3 weeks is too long. Every other weekend is acceptable minimum I think. All weekend better. Keep the relationship with you platonic, calm, no sex, and simple for your son.
I don't know don't think it is. First weekend his sister went out the night before and she was meant to go back the next morning but she couldn't be ass but his dad didn't come get our son cause he didn't want to leave her dog alone.

Next weekend he drove up to our town in the snow but texted us after he got here and went to his workplace and said he didn't want to risk it.

And today he was meant to come and get our son straight after work but he changed plans cause I close female mate may hurt herself and he's at her house right now and she has a fella but her fella can't be ass.

Feels like his putting other people before his son. He did this when we where together people would always call and text saying they need help and 9 out of 10 it was a girl so he went helped them left me alone then would moan about it.
He asked if I was really alright with him and to save myself just said yes he's been online and not asked about his son to see if he went down alright. I'm lying to him about my mental health cause as soon as he messaged telling me about the mate I cried. He knows I need a break of my own mental health but he keeps letting me and his son down and I honestly want to punch him and if he's lied about this I'll kill him...I can't cope most of the time cause all the stress of rising two kids is hard then he says one thing then does something else...I've been close to self-harm myself...

And the sex was the first time in two years and won't be happening again
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Maybe don't have anything to do with him? and don't encourage him to take your son? just look after your little team of three and get rid of the stress?

Anything that makes you want to self harm has to go. It is probably making being a mum so hard, this extra stress/instability from him.

I know with mental illness my psychiarist told me i need an organised and steady life, and have stable and reliable people around me. I have bipolar disorder, but still it is triggered massively by stress like your symptoms are, and when my life is stressful, i don't know which way is up.

I'm sorry i mentioned the sex again, stupid of me, just reminds me of my mum and dad who divorced when i was a child. I hardly saw my dad, better for me in the long run as he wouldn't have been a good parent anyway.

Sometimes being without a dad is better than having a dad and their stress. Even though not having a dad causes some problems for a child and did for me, it might have been much worse if i had seen him growing up. My mum also was telling him to take me out and include me in his new life and family but he took the easy option.

Your mental health is very important. You need to protect yourself from anything that makes you unwell, as much as is possible.

Are you homeschooling now? My cousins are struggling so much with it and one also has her own 2 plus a friend's 2 children as well.
 
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