I don't know why i do it..

[Vickla1988]

Hi i joined this forum today, mainly just so that i can speak to some people who may understand me more than the people i see everyday.
Basically i've just been diagnosed as bipolar and am currently in a hypomanic episode awaiting medication. the psychiatrist is monitoring me for a week to determine which meds will be best.
But anyway i was just wondering if anyone else uses self harm as a way to stop the racing thoughts and energies? or at least slow them down for 10 minutes? I am scratching my forearm with my fingernails very regularly and always do it until there's blood. i dont understand fully why i do this, my arm looks horrible and i now have scars, but i just can't stop doing it!
I think maybe its the only thing i feel in control of? that its something that i can decide when to do and where and that provides me with a sense of relief. it does ground my thoughts for a while and slows me down, but never for more than 10 minutes.
does anyone else do anything similar? and if so have you discovered a different way of getting the same effect?

 

[skyblue]

When I'm manic I do just the same for exactly the same reasons as yourself.

I use elastic bands around my wrists and ping them for a similar effect which helps and they don't leave any scars.

I know just how you're feeling and it can be a horrible situation to be in when your mind just will not slow down.

I hope the doc's are able to help calm your mind.

Wishing you well.

 

[jax]

I don't cut for the same reasons - I cut myself in order to punish myself for things I did when I was high. This summer I must have had 15 visits to A&E for stitches.

 

[Somebody]

yes!

I do the exact same thing,I can't describe why though...it's like an addiction,when everything gets too much you have to get a fix.A release like,I just wish people wouldn't always think that you're gonna kill yourself if they see scars.How bad.xx

 

[>.<]

No, I've never cut while manic, I used to cut when I was depressed, so that I can deal with the pain outside instead of inside, and to check I was still alive :\

I've given up now, but its so hard, everytime I get upset it's still my instinctive reaction to self harm...I haven't for 10 months though, so I'm quite pleased with myself for that

 

[emski]

I've only done it when in a 'mixed' episode, as a way of dealing with severe agitation and I found the only other thing that helped with that level of agitation, was lorazepam, though I don't recommend this either, specially not as an injection

 

[>.<]

I've only done it when in a 'mixed' episode, as a way of dealing with severe agitation and I found the only other thing that helped with that level of agitation, was lorazepam, though I don't recommend this either, specially not as an injection

I was given lorazepam to calm me down during my last severe depressive episode because I wasn't on a psych ward, I was on a medical ward and I was constantly crying, but for me it made it worse, and made me really restless and agitated

 

[emski]

Paradoxical effects of drugs - makes you agitated when its meant to calm you. This does happen sometimes. Even if it does work, loraz is not the way to go if it can be avoided, so bloody addictive

 

[Dave.P]

I'm hurting too

Hey, I posted a thread 'Im hurting' a week ago. Have a look at it. I have just had my stiches out today. Self harm hurts, the mental scars last forever and I feel a fool making up stories about what I did to my arm!
Stay strong. Dave.P.