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I don't know where to start

M

muttley

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2009
Messages
4
My new Partner of 4 months has quite severe mood swings and I think that it might be some sort of Bipolar Disorder, she does have a very stressful job and one day be loving and fun the next day really quiet and another just wants be be on her own.
She say's she don't know why she has these moods and can't or won't explain, when I try to talk about it she say's she doesn't have the answers and that her moods are not fair on me, but I want to be with her and help her.
We have not been with each other for a few weeks to give her space and did not communicate for a week then started texting and then last week had a phone conversation, over an hour but didn't talk about her last bad mood.
She has had a bad previous relationships and has always felt that if someone done something for her this would always be thrown back in her face at a later time, I have told her that the things I do is because I love her and want to do things for her, fix a curtain rail or mend her car
How do I go about discussing the possible Bipolar Disorder as this has never been mentioned.
I really don't know who else to ask and I'm sorry to burden you with our problem.
 
Q

quality factor

Guest
Hi there and :welcome:
This is a problem that needs to be talked about with a GP especially if Bipolar is suspected. You need to encourage your girlfriend to see the GP if she herself recognises that she has a problem.
 
M

muttley

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2009
Messages
4
Hello and Thankyou Q F
I am hopefully going to (try) to discuss this with my partner this weekend, as we have only been together 4 month I am struggling on how to open a conversation say that she may have a serious problem.
I have never had to deal with anything like this before, Oh we are both in our mid forties.
 
Q

quality factor

Guest
Hi again,
That's a difficult one; it may not help the situation by suggesting that she has a serious problem especially only knowing her for 4 months. I feel she has to recognise herself that she has a problem, if she does , then you can pursue it with her gently. As I said the only person who can make any diagnosis is her GP ,you need to encourage her in that direction.
There is also the possibility of her approaching a local Community Mental Health Team (CMHT). In either scenario you could offer to go with her and provide some support for her which may be more comfortable for her in making that first step.
Perhaps other members will be able to make suggestions to you, so hang on in there and see what happens.
Good luck.
 
Last edited:
M

muttley

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2009
Messages
4
Thanks again, this has given me help, hope and direction.
I just hope I am strong enough to get through this, I really do love her dearly and I know this will help.
:hug:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
When I first got together with R I was very up and down with him. I do have Bipolar Disorder but the reason I was up and down with him was because I had been in a relationship previously for 13 years and it was terrible. It took time for me to trust him and to realise that when he says he loves me it's because he loves me and not because he wants something.
 
M

muttley

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2009
Messages
4
I am really glad I have stumbled onto this forum, Thanks Dollit :)
Normally I deal with problems head on but, I really feel a lot more confident on how I am going to approach this. and I even with just the few replys understand a bit more about how she may feel.
 
S

saffron

Guest
hi muttley
glad you fouind the forum and welcome
as mentioned yo have only known this lady for a short while and you sound very sensitive to her needs and her emotions and thats great.
by the sound of it she has had some bad past relationships and so will e very confused in how to accept yours for what it is, loving. My past has been really bad with relationships and theres one thing that I would want to know is that my partner will accept me for what I am, reassure me and allow me to express my feelings, even if that means time on my own.
It is hard in the start of a relationship anyway and you can obvioiusly see that there is some baggage there, however, i beleive it is something you can work through without being too pushy or questioning, but supportive and understanding as you seem to come across. if that makes sense.
If she is not ready to accept professional help then there is no point in trying to force her, she will dig her heels in and any therapy will not work. However, there is help for you and a chat about the situation with a profesional may give you different ways of helping her without being overbearing. hope that makes sense too.
she has found someone really special in you and you in her.
best of luck with the future
S
 
D

doghouse

Member
Joined
Jan 25, 2009
Messages
13
Hello, I have a similar problem at at the start of our relationship, my partner was very on off, he would say how much he loved me and wanted to marry me, then, a moment later, he said he was leaving and HE DID, he would then phone (before mobiles) and I would collect him again, this went on for a while and the paranoia, I was frightened to even have my own children around too often, but, as the time went on, he became more settled and although he still has big mood swings they are different, he knows I love him and I do. I think your partner needs lot's of reasurance, they may well have a history of being let down, it's hard, I am still trying but I love my partner dearly and the last thing I want would be to seperate, so, if you have the strengh and patience, keep it up.
 
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