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I don't know what to do. Need advice.

T

Topcat

Former member
I've always been someone who moves forward. I don't like staying still (metaphorically) in my life. I like to learn, change, try and improve myself.
But I don't seem to be going anywhere. It's like running on the spot.
It's as if the times I feel like I'm getting somewhere, changing, is all an illusion.
I can't seem to keep things up.

I have (and always have had) many interests, I throw myself into each one with abandon. I have recurring ones now, so clearly I AM interested in these things, and really to move forward and improve means to maybe formally study this stuff, to achieve. (I kind of need instruction, something to follow and help with motivation).

But for all that I'm so passionately interested in phases, I lose it totally in the next. Everything becomes unimportant, uninteresting, hard. Some things that used to be important to me, things I enjoyed, I've completely failed to manage to keep up. This really pisses me off.
I don't know what to do.

I'm scared of committing to something (financially as well as time), just to not be able to manage through harder times and fail to do it. I don't want to fail. I want to manage, to achieve SOMETHING for myself that means something to me, personally.
I just don't know if I can do it?
Losing interest, getting bored, losing concentration, flitting to the next obsession, has been a problem all my life.

Can I change?
 
Reach

Reach

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 1, 2014
Messages
1,295
The whole being interested and then losing interest, do you think those time fit with mild cycles of mood? I find even on meds i have mild cycles of mood and these subtle changes in me still take place.

To look at it another way, and this is hard to put into words, but you know when you start to feel irritated with life, fed up, anxious, in need of 'something', then you book a course, and then you feel better. Aren't those feelings exactly what we need to kick us into doing something. That they are designed just for that. Just like some people say certain types of depression (not bipolar i don't think) come along to make us change our lives in some way.

Not sure if i've completely missed the point but hope something i've said is useful.
 
T

Topcat

Former member
I don't know what I'm saying.
I can't even keep my house in order, or do important things with my kids.
Why do I even think I can do anything mentally taxing?
I've got too much I'm floundering with already to try adding something else :low:
I'm going to get older and drop dead never having done anything, other than grind myself into a heap of dust.

Forget it.
 
anouska

anouska

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2013
Messages
859
Location
UK
It's ok, it's ok:hug:. I've sent you a pm. I feel I'm very similar to yourself.x
 
T

Topcat

Former member
The whole being interested and then losing interest, do you think those time fit with mild cycles of mood? I find even on meds i have mild cycles of mood and these subtle changes in me still take place.

To look at it another way, and this is hard to put into words, but you know when you start to feel irritated with life, fed up, anxious, in need of 'something', then you book a course, and then you feel better. Aren't those feelings exactly what we need to kick us into doing something. That they are designed just for that. Just like some people say certain types of depression (not bipolar i don't think) come along to make us change our lives in some way.

Not sure if i've completely missed the point but hope something i've said is useful.

Sorry cross posted.
Yes, it's all linked to 'mood' phases. Totally. It just seems my whole life is ruled by them, and I can't break free. I know exactly what I want to do sometimes, then a few weeks later, I don't remember why I was even interested.
I hate it.
It's ruining everything.
 
T

Topcat

Former member
It's not even that I just lose interest. I get such existential lows, that I can't even see the point in being alive, let alone learning or nurturing a 'past' interest.
But the fact these interests lay dormant til the next time just made me wonder.
 
C

crazychick

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2014
Messages
66
hi top cat im exactly the same i have a million hobbies none of which have ever stuck im afraid but they still come an go as does my interest in them. i suppose the only 1 that has stuck is keeping fish an to be honest i believe my whole recovery from severe depression was hinged by fish . they are so calming beautiful a time consuming i find myself unable to be down. when i see my fish breeding or brite in colour an happy it gives me a wonderful natural high an because of the diversity i never loose interest it defo recommend fish for ay1 with mental health problems x
 
D

Dissatisfied

Former member
I resonate with this post - I'm really good at starting something and not finishing it to the end - combination of getting bored with it, losing self-esteem with myself, the risk of doing something I've never done before gives me fear so it only stays as a dream, due to have started something and it being it momentous fuck up caused by only me, and when something new comes along, I react by being anxious, and therefore, can quickly turn into mania and that leads me to fucking it up eventually.

So to keep on top of things - it becomes even more stressful and tiring for me, I either not do something at all, like housework, or I stick to a strict routine of cleaning every room thoroughly until every single corner is sparkling, and will do this as a daily routine until I feel exhausted, and then I revert back to do nothing at all,

At the moment I'm wearing myself down by the anxiety of housework, I feel anxious about leaving the house until every single room is done thoroughly - I feel that I could be showing signs of OCD - just because I know it's not about being clean, it's more about anxiety - I want to go back to being a bit more care free and relaxed, but when that happens I don't do anything at all - wish I could train myself to be somewhere in the middle - but I've never really done that in any aspect of my life.
 
D

Dissatisfied

Former member
when I try a new hobby or when I go back to education - I put my all in it - I won't take a break from it - and then I get bored, lose interest and I quit before I should - again I think it's due to anxiety - a bit of perfectionism in there too - and also a need to prove myself. I make life harder for myself being like this.
 
Reach

Reach

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 1, 2014
Messages
1,295
Sorry cross posted.
Yes, it's all linked to 'mood' phases. Totally. It just seems my whole life is ruled by them, and I can't break free. I know exactly what I want to do sometimes, then a few weeks later, I don't remember why I was even interested.
I hate it.
It's ruining everything.

I hate it too, it happens to me. It means that i never really know how i feel and if i'm happy or not because everything can be going swimmingly, and i feel content, and then all of a sudden i feel like my life is terrible and i'm lazy and this and that. I think being aware of this change can help. If you know you are in a low phase, you can decide not to trust your thoughts, and you know everything will take that bit more effort - such as housekeeping, it is much harder to do. When in a high phase you know that you might start beginning courses and projects, and you might be more cautious instead of going with it.

It is such a hard way to live, to know you cannot trust your instincts about things, that you cannot trust your feelings and sometimes have to do the opposite of what they are telling you.
 
R

restlessmind

Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2013
Messages
19
Location
South-East England
Hi everyone.

It's really reassuring to read these posts and know that I'm not the only one feeling the same way. My head is full of constant "noise" where thoughts flit from one thing to the next. I start one activity then swiftly move onto the next before long. And when I'm doing an activity I'm not focusing 100% on that task as I'm thinking about what else I could do. I convince myself that other people are achieving so much more than me so I need to add an additional task into my day.

But at the end of it all, I haven't completed one task in its entirety and I'm left with dozens of half-commenced projects and hobbies.

I hate being so fickle and going from loving a full diary of activities to becoming paralysed with the fear of all my commitments.

It's so easy to build strong bridges and connections before demolishing them and regretting their destruction.

Sorry for the metaphors. The vagueness of this post reflects the cloudiness in my head.

Thinking of you all!
 
Lilla

Lilla

Active member
Joined
Jan 18, 2014
Messages
40
Location
Canada
I am sorry that you are feeling that way. I took 8 years to finish a degree. 3 years of mania in between. It's the only thing I have finished. The last 4 years since I haven't been working, I also can't seem to find any thing that keeps my interest. Thank you for your post because I felt I could relate to your feeling. I have no advice for you

:goodluck:
 
S

ShadowPanther

Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2014
Messages
6
Wow, I understand you completely. That's exactly what I do :(. I commit, get distracted, go back to something else. I have realised however that I am very very slowly improving at all of my 'hobbies'. It just takes me sometimes up to a year to get back round to one again. I would much rather have one that I am very good at, but unless I change that wont happen. Most of the time I get very annoyed at myself for the lack of commitment.
 
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