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I don't know what this is but?

B

bri26064

New member
Joined
Jan 9, 2009
Messages
3
I have a hard time getting attached to people. I generally am more comfortable being alone. I watch TV and movies and can empathize more than I want to. Hell, I can find myself crying at the end of a Law and Order episode. Even today at my Mom's retirement party I was more emotional than she was. But when is comes to one on one with a girlfriend, it seems that I don't feel anything. I don't think that is normal. I need some help or direction. Please! I don't know if I am ok or not. I am worried.

Thank you
 
Magenta

Magenta

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2009
Messages
16
Maybe it is simply that you haven't found a person who you want to share your feelings with yet. It takes a long time for some people to find that connection, the feelings are there,it just seems that they just haven't connected with the person to trigger them.
 
S

saffron

Guest
whats makes you think you are not ok?

you sound like a very deep and sensitive person and what you are going through is experienced by lots of people as far as I know. I do this all the time, and yet I can cry through films and find other peoples happiness really overwhelming, and In some cases on a one to one I can feel nothing, but Ive concluded that it is because the person is not the person I percieved them to first be and just could not connect in a loving way in the end.
Sometimes I think I am too much of a romantic though and can be dissapointed very easily. I also do not trust anyone though, so that does not help.

what else is happening when you get these thoughts?

S
 
B

bri26064

New member
Joined
Jan 9, 2009
Messages
3
That make me feel a little better. I know that I do have trust issues that I need to work on. I just needed to know that I wasn't totally abnormal. Thanks. It's also nice to talk to someone about it.

I feel that I am not OK because I just don't get emotional when I think I should and do get emotional when I don't want to. At my Mom's retirement from work yesterday I was fighting like hell to keep from losing it. I was just taking pics. It just seems that I get emotional for others and not myself. Just seems weird and backwards.
 
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Magenta

Magenta

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2009
Messages
16
There are no rules with emotion - you feel what you feel. Some people cry when they see a newborn baby, or puppy and some people don't. Some people can't cry at a funeral but it doesn't mean they are heartless. Feelings and ways of expressing them are different for everyone. I think you seem fine ;)
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,720
Location
Yorkshire
That was nicely said Magenta! Couldn't agree more.
 
S

saffron

Guest
I agree I always cry at weddings. I think It s because you can see someone you care about really happy and that makes you happy, or in the case of films you can emphathise with the way people portraying really being in love or something happy is seen because maybe that is what you really yearn for yourself.
I cant understand why you felt you could not show how you felt at your moms retirement, do you always hid your feelings?
S :)
 
D

Dollit

Guest
I've never felt very emotionally attached to anyone - even my husband and the guy I spent 13 years with - apart from a brief period in my 20s. I fell very hard for someone last year and it's been quite a learning curve but good. His love has made me a better person and even though I find it desperately scary sometimes I'm actually glad I waited this long for the big experience.
 
BadBuddha

BadBuddha

Active member
Joined
Dec 28, 2008
Messages
29
Location
South London
I'm glad it's not just me! I've been worrying that I only feel real emotion towards my son. My sisters, friends etc. I just seem to have conventional thoughts about, if you see what I mean. At first I thought it was middle age but I'm beginning to think it's repression/fear of emotions which might help explain my alcoholism and benzodiazapine addiction. Do you do things to suppress your emotions? It doesn't have to be substance abuse. I can't give you an answer but I worry about my own isolation, too, most of which is self-imposed. I really have to fight it!
So, I don't know what it is either, but if you find out, let me know. Maybe it's just our personalities but we measure ourselves unfavourably against the "norm".:confused:
 
intelgal

intelgal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2008
Messages
1,413
Location
Yorkshire
Hm .. i have a constant strive to be normal and want to make evrything and everyone happy. THis gives me pleasure unitl I look for things that make me happy! Then I loose the abiltiy to feel emotion.. vicious circle
 
T

trainwreck

Guest
normal

when young, emotions are like hormones CRAZY.dont worry we all like to be on are own . us guys on hear who take meds need to be on are own a lot of the time, as for crying dont tell any one im a crazy fighting nutter straight guy, but i cried my bollocks at tom hanks in philadelphia. :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:cool:
 
B

binthair

Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
15
I agree with Magenta.

There are no rules with emotions and everyone is different.

I cried when my Mother passed away but not when my Father passed away. I was sad and my sisters were devastated but I had never felt that close to my Father whereas my Mother had more of a impact on my life.

My son thought I was weird because I did not cry at my Father’s funeral.

I couldn’t help it.

I felt detached.
 
Q

quality factor

Guest
Hi, emotion is very much an individual reaction. I still grieve for my partner of 27 years who died 2 years ago. Yet my father died 8 months ago and i haven't grieved at all.
 
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