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I don't know what is wrong with me! Help!

S

S2360

New member
Joined
Feb 24, 2021
Messages
4
Location
UK
Hi,
I honestly don't know what is wrong with me so I am just going to be honest here and see what you think.
I used to (maybe still am?) suffer from depression and anxiety. After my first counselling, I found out the cause which was an unhappy marriage so I left my husband 2 years ago and am happy but then I was struggling with guilt because I have children and my husband was not being very nice and I think I had lost my confidence after 15 years of marriage so I started CBT therapy for a while which helped a lot so generally speaking I am ok I think.
However, after I split up, very randomly I started watching a Korean drama on Netflix and I became obsessed with Korea! Seriously obsessed! To the point that it is really bothering me! I planned to go to Korea last year thinking I could get rid of the obsession then but it was cancelled because of COVID.
Now, I am a woman in her 40s, have a masters degree and am a professional! All my life I loved romance books and romantic movies\series but I was normal! I thought actors were handsome but I was not obsessed!
With Korea, it's different! I am forcing myself to learn Korean! If a Korean celebrity gets married or dates someone else I get extremely upset and very depressed! I have tried to reason with myself! I have tried to stop watching these programmes or read about these people that I don't know about but nothing helps!
I am so disappointed with myself because logically I know how crazy this sounds and all of that. I dislike myself for being this way! but emotionally I can't help myself! This is making very depressed and I am constantly fighting with myself.
I know I can never move to Korea! I know that even if I do, the chances of me having any relationship with a Korean is 0 to none! I know that Korean people are just like other people and not all their men are extremely good looking or extremely romantic! I am extremely embarrassed about this post but I really need help!
Please tell me how to help myself! This is not something I can talk to anyone about!
 
B

Blackwolf

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 27, 2020
Messages
90
Location
Poland
Maybe this is your brain way to distract you from problems. You focus so much on something very distant not to think too much about present. I think we all do it with Netflix, books or games when we feel bad to distance ourselves from our problems and pain. I think it is not bad and many times it helps not to get worse as long as it isn't the only thing we do. Many hugs
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
4,544
Location
Canada
Hi, welcome to the forum. I lived in South Korea for nearly a decade until 2008. It's nothing special. Truth is, a lot of foreigners didn't like it there, maybe stayed for one year. It's a hard place to adjust to. I taught English, was easy to get work.

Anyway, none of that helps resolve an obsession. Those are tough. I have them too. Not sure what you can do but I hope it doesn't interfere much with your everyday life.
 
S

S2360

New member
Joined
Feb 24, 2021
Messages
4
Location
UK
Maybe this is your brain way to distract you from problems. You focus so much on something very distant not to think too much about present. I think we all do it with Netflix, books or games when we feel bad to distance ourselves from our problems and pain. I think it is not bad and many times it helps not to get worse as long as it isn't the only thing we do. Many hugs
Thank you. I just feel that this obsession is hurting me mentally more than helping me if that makes sense. It is making me depressed as well as ashamed of myself.
 
S

S2360

New member
Joined
Feb 24, 2021
Messages
4
Location
UK
Hi, welcome to the forum. I lived in South Korea for nearly a decade until 2008. It's nothing special. Truth is, a lot of foreigners didn't like it there, maybe stayed for one year. It's a hard place to adjust to. I taught English, was easy to get work.

Anyway, none of that helps resolve an obsession. Those are tough. I have them too. Not sure what you can do but I hope it doesn't interfere much with your everyday life.
Thank you. I have also heard that as well as the fact that a lot of them even look down on foreigners. I know all these facts but I am still obsessed! It is unfortunately interfering with my life because majority of my free times is spent thinking about things related to Korea even though I have stopped watching or listening to anything related to Korea!
 
R

rosesareblue

Active member
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
34
Location
USA
Hi,
I honestly don't know what is wrong with me so I am just going to be honest here and see what you think.
I used to (maybe still am?) suffer from depression and anxiety. After my first counselling, I found out the cause which was an unhappy marriage so I left my husband 2 years ago and am happy but then I was struggling with guilt because I have children and my husband was not being very nice and I think I had lost my confidence after 15 years of marriage so I started CBT therapy for a while which helped a lot so generally speaking I am ok I think.
However, after I split up, very randomly I started watching a Korean drama on Netflix and I became obsessed with Korea! Seriously obsessed! To the point that it is really bothering me! I planned to go to Korea last year thinking I could get rid of the obsession then but it was cancelled because of COVID.
Now, I am a woman in her 40s, have a masters degree and am a professional! All my life I loved romance books and romantic movies\series but I was normal! I thought actors were handsome but I was not obsessed!
With Korea, it's different! I am forcing myself to learn Korean! If a Korean celebrity gets married or dates someone else I get extremely upset and very depressed! I have tried to reason with myself! I have tried to stop watching these programmes or read about these people that I don't know about but nothing helps!
I am so disappointed with myself because logically I know how crazy this sounds and all of that. I dislike myself for being this way! but emotionally I can't help myself! This is making very depressed and I am constantly fighting with myself.
I know I can never move to Korea! I know that even if I do, the chances of me having any relationship with a Korean is 0 to none! I know that Korean people are just like other people and not all their men are extremely good looking or extremely romantic! I am extremely embarrassed about this post but I really need help!
Please tell me how to help myself! This is not something I can talk to anyone about!
What I can say is that maybe start watching different movies from different culture just to put your mined of that feeling, then when your mined changes to a different reactions you will see that was not real. Good luck.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
828
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
I think it's okay to fantasize about Korea and Korean people but not if it obsesses you and takes over your life. Maybe you can limit your fantasies to, say, an hour a day, and then get back to reality.
 
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