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I don't know what I'm doing

K

kgirl13

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I don't think I'm depressed, I just need someone to talk to who kind of understands. I've come back to uni, a place which I love and it's all gone down hill. I have no desire
To be here. Second week and I can't seem to shift off this sense of sadness that looks over me. I feel that people are going off me, I feel people acting different towards me, I feel like I've left my family down. I cry all the time, most nights before bed. I just wanna know why. I know we always have bad days Etc but this is like bad couple weeks now. What is happening to me? I Am known for always being fun and happiness. Im just so confused and need someone to talk to.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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I noticed you've started this post with "I don't think i'm depressed"..

I'm not a doctor obviously but it sounds to me like you possibly are suffering from depression.
Has your Uni got any student support services that you can access?
I'm saying that because I presume you're away from home and so won't be able to visit your regular GP.
It might also be worth seeing if there's an NHS walk-in centre close to you that you could go to.

I would encourage you to talk to a doctor about this, even if you don't necessarily think you're depressed... because sometimes, when you try to put on a brave face and carry on as 'normal', the depression can get more intense and lead you to a bit of a crisis (this is speaking purely from my experience, by the way).
It's better to nip this in the bud, don't you think?

Just want to say i'm sorry to see you said you cry yourself to sleep at night. Been there, done that and it's heartbreaking. So sending you big hugs. :hug1:
 
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Purple butterfly

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I agree with Somerset..... May be best to speak to a professional xx

:hugs5:
 
K

kgirl13

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Thank you so much for taking a care into this thread. Knowing someone who is there for me has made me feel a lot more normal. You both have been amazing. The thing is I feel embarrassed to say that i think I'm depressed. Is that a sort of thing you can say to your doctor? I just want this sorted out. Another night of crying myself to sleep and not having anyone to talk about it is not appealing. I just don't know if this is a thing I can have? I'm all just very confused at the moment. Just feel like there is no one who gets me or who understands me like you all. It's so hard.
 

MarlieeB

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Of course that is something you can say to your Doctor. If you feel embarrassed then say that you are feeling sad. You could even make out a list beforehand to read off it that will help?

x
 
K

kgirl13

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Booking an appointment makes it all something a bit too real. Something that I never thought would happen to me. Thank you everyone for giving me the confidence to do it though, I will make sure I do it straight away. You're all beautiful souls, and I wish with help I can be one too.

Tonight I had my first suicidal thought. Thought that everyone would just be better without me. My parents would have less to worry/be ashamed about. I don't wanna feel like this anymore.
 

MarlieeB

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Well done. I don't "know" you but that is such a brave thing to do.

I hope you know that it is just a thought, it's your head messing with, well your head.

Keep us updated.

x
 
K

kgirl13

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I feel very alone in all this. I feel like I'm silently fighting a battle that no one knows about. This isn't fair. I want to tell my girls but I don't know how. I'm scared of being judged.
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

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I understand the feeling of loneliness, and the silent battle :hug1: I've felt like this numerous times. I'm not sure who you are referring to by 'girls', is it your friends, daughters.. someone else?
 
K

kgirl13

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My housemates, basically sisters. Makes me feel better that I'm not the only one
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

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I know it can be scary, it hasn't been easy for me to open up either. And I've gotten some mixed responses from people when I tried to; some were judgmental, and dismissive, but to my surprise, there were a few people that were completely ok with me talking about it. Maybe give yourself some time, until you feel more comfortable to do it?
 
K

kgirl13

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I told my best friend. The amount of relief I felt. She's coming with me to my first doctors appt about it. I just wanted to thank all of you for being here. You guys are amazing and have been incredible for me over the last couple of days. My rocks xxxxxx
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

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I'm glad to hear that honey, that's great :)
 
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